“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Romans 12:2a.
Can I just be super real? This morning I woke up in a really bad mood. It’s Saturday and I just wanted to “chill” today. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of having a messy house – rugs rolled up because we’ve been in potty training boot camp this week…a bathroom vanity in my living room (awaiting a busy plumber) and dust everywhere from a not-planned bathroom remodel…clutter from a two-year old adorable tornado…never ending laundry and dishes…And I’m tired of playing referee. Why can’t we just have peace and niceness all day? The thought of an uninterrupted meal, of meeting no one’s needs but my own..that sounds so nice.
I guess it all boils down to this – I’m tired of being a servant. I can try to explain or rationalize it lots of different ways, but that’s at the heart of it. I knew I was being selfish, and I hated seeing that ugliness. But I couldn’t just make the attitude go away.
I’m oh so thankful that God welcomes me to pour all of this out to Him. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, O people. Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.” So today I did just that. I laid bare my restless, fleshly soul. I told Him what He already knew. And He met with me. In love, forgiveness, acceptance, and grace. He reminded me that I cannot change myself. Change happens as my mind is renewed in truth (Rom 12:2, above).
I realized that I may have incessant cleaning to do, but at least I have a house to clean. And a bathroom is being remodeled, but I have two others to use. And He has provided so faithfully for the remodeling project. And dirty dishes mean we have food to eat. And dirty laundry means we have clothes to wear. And I have precious, delightful children to referee and take care of. I wouldn’t change that for the world. And my sweet big girl is a wonderful helper and my precious hubby is so kind and helpful. There is so very much to be thankful for. I lost sight of that when I was dwelling on what I wished I could change.
In addition to all of these things, I’m forever grateful that I’m loved and accepted by God because of Jesus, even in the midst of my sin. And how thankful I am that I’m no longer a slave to sin, to wrong attitudes. I don’t have to be controlled by shifting emotions because I’ve been given the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). I am more than a conquerer through Him who loves me (Rom 8:37). I am loved, accepted, and empowered to change through the Holy Spirit living within me (Eph 1:19-20).
This day, every day, is about Jesus. It’s not about me and what I want. Jesus instructed His followers that there is a daily choice to be made. “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). Jesus spent His life serving His Father by serving the people around Him. He got weary, yes. And He took time to rest and refuel (Mark 6:31). But serving was His way of life.
So today, with a renewed mind, I choose to serve. To shine Jesus by loving those around me. And not in my own strength, but by His grace, through faith in the One who loves me (Gal 2:20). I choose to be a channel, a vessel that He uses – not striving to produce this “fruit” for Him, but allowing Him to do it in and through me (Gal 5:22-23). This is how I can honor Him today (Jn 15:8).