by MeredithNMills | Nov 7, 2015 | Uncategorized
When your days are numbered, you look at life differently.
The pitter patter of not-so-little feet wakes me from my slumber. My bathroom light shocks the early morning darkness. Thirty seconds later comes my little boy’s voice, “Mama, I love you.” Then he climbs in bed and snuggles up next to me. Almost every morning.
Why doesn’t he use the hall bathroom, I sometimes wonder, frustrated at the moments of lost sleep.
Later in the day… “I need mommy love!” comes a tiny voice as my baby girl stretches her little hands up to me.
Sometimes I sigh. Her timing is rarely convenient.
That night…“Mama, can we look up that song I wanted to show you?” This time it’s my almost-tween. She’s so grown up, so beautiful. She has her own tastes, her own style – a fact I abruptly realized last time I took her clothes shopping. I forget how much she still needs me.
It’s so easy to see their requests and needs as interruptions. I often mistake their cries for relationship as more “work” for me. And I begrudge the gifts that they and God are offering me.
Sometimes the tyranny of the urgent distracts me from the beauty of the moment.
Someday my little boy will wake me up to snuggle for the last time. One day my baby girl will say, “I need mommy love”…and then never say it again. The day will come when my big girl offers her last invitation to look into her soul as we just sit and listen to her favorite songs together. Because kids grow up. Time moves on. And today’s gifts are gone.
My living room will stay tidy one day. No more dolls and toys and art supplies strewn all over the rug. No more books hiding under the couch. No more tiny construction vehicles to step on in the middle of the night. Because this season I’m living is just that – a season.
“Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts” (Ps 90:12).
Our days are numbered. We will never see these moments again. Ever. They will soon be simply memories.
Today is a gift from the Giver of all good things. Let’s stop and breathe and choose to rejoice in the things that really matter.
O God, give me wisdom to see the gifts You extend each day. When I get too busy to cherish your goodness – arrest my attention. Refocus me. Remind me that all our days are numbered. Give me wisdom to see and savor Your gifts.
What gifts has God given you in your current season? How will you slow down and savor them today?
by MeredithNMills | Jan 3, 2015 | Uncategorized
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Romans 12:2a.
Can I just be super real? This morning I woke up in a really bad mood. It’s Saturday and I just wanted to “chill” today. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of having a messy house – rugs rolled up because we’ve been in potty training boot camp this week…a bathroom vanity in my living room (awaiting a busy plumber) and dust everywhere from a not-planned bathroom remodel…clutter from a two-year old adorable tornado…never ending laundry and dishes…And I’m tired of playing referee. Why can’t we just have peace and niceness all day? The thought of an uninterrupted meal, of meeting no one’s needs but my own..that sounds so nice.
I guess it all boils down to this – I’m tired of being a servant. I can try to explain or rationalize it lots of different ways, but that’s at the heart of it. I knew I was being selfish, and I hated seeing that ugliness. But I couldn’t just make the attitude go away.
I’m oh so thankful that God welcomes me to pour all of this out to Him. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, O people. Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.” So today I did just that. I laid bare my restless, fleshly soul. I told Him what He already knew. And He met with me. In love, forgiveness, acceptance, and grace. He reminded me that I cannot change myself. Change happens as my mind is renewed in truth (Rom 12:2, above).
I realized that I may have incessant cleaning to do, but at least I have a house to clean. And a bathroom is being remodeled, but I have two others to use. And He has provided so faithfully for the remodeling project. And dirty dishes mean we have food to eat. And dirty laundry means we have clothes to wear. And I have precious, delightful children to referee and take care of. I wouldn’t change that for the world. And my sweet big girl is a wonderful helper and my precious hubby is so kind and helpful. There is so very much to be thankful for. I lost sight of that when I was dwelling on what I wished I could change.
In addition to all of these things, I’m forever grateful that I’m loved and accepted by God because of Jesus, even in the midst of my sin. And how thankful I am that I’m no longer a slave to sin, to wrong attitudes. I don’t have to be controlled by shifting emotions because I’ve been given the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). I am more than a conquerer through Him who loves me (Rom 8:37). I am loved, accepted, and empowered to change through the Holy Spirit living within me (Eph 1:19-20).
This day, every day, is about Jesus. It’s not about me and what I want. Jesus instructed His followers that there is a daily choice to be made. “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). Jesus spent His life serving His Father by serving the people around Him. He got weary, yes. And He took time to rest and refuel (Mark 6:31). But serving was His way of life.
So today, with a renewed mind, I choose to serve. To shine Jesus by loving those around me. And not in my own strength, but by His grace, through faith in the One who loves me (Gal 2:20). I choose to be a channel, a vessel that He uses – not striving to produce this “fruit” for Him, but allowing Him to do it in and through me (Gal 5:22-23). This is how I can honor Him today (Jn 15:8).
