by MeredithNMills | Feb 5, 2016 | Uncategorized
Rejection…oh, how it stings.
We don’t live long on this planet before encountering it. So many emotions come into play – pain, anger, disillusionment, loneliness, despair…
Jesus knew this pain well.
On the night before His crucifixion, Jesus shared an intimate meal with His closest earthly friends. Only two people in that room knew what was about to transpire. Judas, chosen as friend and disciple, would soon betray his Teacher into the hands of murderers. Jesus knew of Judas’ plans, yet He knelt and washed Judas’ feet. His dusty, dirty feet. Feet that would lead the killers to Jesus.
What an act of unheard-of grace.
Jesus knew He would also feel the ruthless pain of abandonment. Each of those beloved friends would run and hide during Jesus’ darkest hour. Except one – Peter would follow at a distance, but when questioned, he would deny even knowing his Friend.
Oh, how deep the pain of rejection.
Even so, Jesus spent the evening loving on His unfaithful friends (Jn 13:1). He washed each of their feet. He prepared them for difficulties to come and gave them promises to hold onto. And He prayed for them (Jn 17).
Jesus saw past His own pain to the needs of His friends.
He told Peter “I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers” (Lk 22:31-32).
He knew that Peter would feel unusable, unforgivable. He would grieve the choice he had made. In rejecting Jesus, Peter’s own heart would break. But Jesus prayed that Peter wouldn’t stay in that dark place – that his faith would not die, but that he would turn back to his friendship with God.
Then Jesus went even further. He prayed for Peter’s ministry after God walked his heart through grace.
Yes, Peter would sin. He would choose self-preservation over faithfulness. He would break the heart of the One he’d pledged faithfulness to unto death (Lk 22:33). But God would bring good out of it and enable Peter to strengthen others as a result.
What beautiful grace radiates from this passage. Grace for the unworthy. Grace for the unfaithful. Grace for the one inflicting the pain. Grace poured out, even before they asked for it.
When I encountered this story a few days ago, God did a deep work in my heart.
This is rarely my response to rejection. I often feel defined by the one who hurt me. Many a time, my world has come crashing down when someone hurt me.
But Jesus did not allow the opinions or actions of others to define Him. He knew His identity and didn’t try to prove Himself or keep men’s approval. (See Phil 2:6-7.) He was free to love, to forgive and to extend grace.
O God, teach me to rest in Your approval. Renew my mind in who You say I am. Then enable me to pray for those who hurt me – for their faith, for their walk with You, for their future ministry.
What about you? How do you respond when faced with rejection? What difference does it make to be “accepted (by God) in the Beloved (Jesus)”? (See Eph 1:6, KJV.)
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by MeredithNMills | Jan 29, 2016 | Uncategorized
Sometimes I feel so on top of things. The days are going just as scheduled. Everything is flowing nicely. I’m checking things off that endless “to-do” list and loving the feeling of accomplishment.
And other days, it’s quite the opposite.
Like today.
I’m sitting here in my cozy, quiet-time chair, not because the house is quiet, but because it’s not – and neither is my heart. It’s been a day of playing catch-up with my schedule, of telling little people to calm down, to read that sentence again, to pay attention, to do your chores, to wait just a minute while I finish helping your sister…It’s been that kind of day. That kind of week, actually.
So I’m asking God to quiet my restless heart.
Across the room, my old guitar catches my eye. It sits like a tribute to yesteryear, to days gone by when I actually had time to play. As I stare at it, I think to myself, I feel like one of those tightly-wound strings – stretched taut against the fretboard. I hate feeling this way.
But then I realize…that tension is precisely what makes the sound of the guitar beautiful. Each string is pulled just right, bringing the entire instrument into tune. It would never make music without the tension.
Music in general is full of mounting tension and then release, of chaotic dissonance and then resolve. These contrasts bring interest and beauty to the piece. They are marks of a good composer.
How very like life.
Though I long for peaceful days absent of struggle, I often find God composing beauty in the chaos. He is writing the song of my life through each and every season, each and every day. In the problems I face, He is crafting loveliness where there would otherwise be none.
“The name of the LORD is a strong tower. The righteous runs into it and is safe” (Prov 18:10).
For every struggle, there is Jesus.
– When I need to problem-solve – ”All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in [Christ]” (Col 2:3).
– When chaos and instability threaten to engulf me – “And He will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge…” (Is 33:6).
– When my heart hurts – “Blessed be…the Father of mercies and God of all comfort” (2 Cor 1:3).
– When I feel the sting of rejection – “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. (Is 43:1). “…I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness” (Jer 31:3).
– When I am in need – “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:19).
– When I sin – “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn 1:9). “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west” (Ps 103:12).
– When I am weary – “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28).
What a comfort to know that God is always there, always working to bring about good for His children (Rom 8:28). May we daily press closer to this God who meets our every need. And may we learn to hear the music He is creating in our lives.
What needs has Jesus met for you this week? How do you see Him orchestrating beauty in your life?
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by MeredithNMills | Sep 30, 2015 | Uncategorized
The secret is out. This is the real me.
A few weeks ago, we joined a homeschool co-op. I prepped my kids ahead of time…reminding them to be friendly, to be interested in others, to introduce themselves. You know, basic friend-making stuff. But inwardly, I was a bit anxious myself. I’m not naturally outgoing. Being the first to introduce myself is not exactly in my comfort zone. I, too, was hoping to make connections that would lead to new friendships.
I guess I was hoping to impress people, to make them like me.
You can imagine my embarrassment when, at the end of the first day, I had to search for my misplaced phone. I found it in the office. Assuming someone had turned it in, I asked where it had been found. The sweet lady gave me a puzzled look and told me it had been sitting on the desk all morning. Only then did I remember that I had come to the office first thing that morning in search of name tags. Hmmm….well, she’s not going to think of me as the most organized person in the group.
But really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Anyone can misplace their phone. (I just happen to do it all the time!)
However, when this same person locks her keys in the car the very next week…Well, the secret is out. This is the real me.
I spent nearly the entire final period in the parking lot waiting for a locksmith. The locksmith, of course, showed up in a huge conspicuous tow truck, just as classes were letting out and people were coming to their cars. He was a jolly fellow – asked how my day was going, as if locking oneself out of one’s car adds humor and excitement to the day.
I guess I should have smiled about it, laughed it off. But I was too worried about what people were thinking.
Ah, people pleasing. I know it well.
It can be paralyzing at times. I spend so much time trying to keep everyone happy. I work hard to make people think well of me – even when it means hiding my quirks and imperfections.
It’s an exhausting way to live, and God is teaching me that we were never designed to live this way.
Can I share with you what I’m learning? Because maybe, just maybe, I’m not alone in this people-pleasing craziness.
First, a person’s value lies not in what we do (or don’t do), but in who we are. Our Maker says we are “remarkably and wonderfully made” (Ps 139:14 HCSB). We bear the image of God (Gen 1:26-27). We are infinitely loved and valued – not because of our own merit or loveliness, but because God has set His love upon us (Eph 2:4-5).
Second, we all have emotional needs that God alone can satisfy. The longing for acceptance is a God-given desire. Its purpose is to lead us to Him. When we look to Him in faith, we find that we are relentlessly adored, unconditionally accepted, and even greatly liked – quirks and all. (See Hos 2:14-19, Eph 3:12, Zeph 3:17.) On the other hand, looking to people to meet this need will lead to disappointment and conflict.
Third, another person’s opinion does not define us. This may seem obvious, but I have many times internalized a rejection (real or perceived), as if it were true of me. When our identity is built on who God says we are, we can come back to that reality every time we begin to feel otherwise.
Finally, true friendships are based on transparency and acceptance. If we keep our shortcomings hidden, the relationship will not be genuine. We’ll wear ourselves out trying to keep up the charade.
This is, of course, not a “blanket excuse” for hurtful behavior. We shouldn’t excuse sin or selfishness under the guise of “just being myself.” In living authentically, we should never lose sight of grace.
But oh, the freedom of walking confidently in faith. When those shackles of fear start to fall off – what a glorious new beginning! It’s taking place in my life. How about you? How has God helped you overcome people-pleasing? I’d love to learn from your journey!
“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says, ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength…’” (Is 30:15).
