When Fear Invades

It always makes me a little sad, taking down Christmas decorations. All the tinsel and lights and evergreen beauty – even as an adult, it still seems a bit magical. But now it’s over and time to get back to work.

And then there’s the new year.

image

It used to fill me with excitement and hope. I would dream of what lies ahead and celebrate with anticipation. But I’ve noticed an unwelcome change in my heart over the last few years. Maybe I’ve become pessimistic. Maybe I’ve just come to love a simple life and don’t want things to change.

Actually, I think I’m afraid.

Afraid of what lies ahead. Afraid of losing what I love or of the discomfort of change. Fear can wield such a vise grip on my heart. Indeed, it has been one of the greatest struggles of my adult life.

This is no small matter for a follower of Jesus, because fear sabotages faith. 

When fear moves in, joy and peace get pushed out. Trusting God is replaced by anxiety and “what if’s.” And the longer fear is entertained, the more it takes over. Where fear once was a nagging thought, it begins to command center stage. Instead of walking by faith, self-preservation becomes the goal. Instead of eyes fixed on Jesus, I’m distracted by myself and my surroundings.

But thank God, He’s the Lifter of my head. Thank God, the Holy Spirit is my Teacher. Thank God, He doesn’t leave me here. Thank God He still quiets raging storms – even storms of the heart.

And He reminds me…

He is completely in control. There’s not a ruler or a nation, an organization or a terrorist, a tragedy or a trial, a sickness or even death, that He is not Lord over. He is more powerful than any “giant” I will ever face.

He is abundantly good. There is a lot in life that is not good. A whole lot of things are just downright horrible. But our heavenly Daddy is always working for our good. While He allows free will and human choice, while the evils of a sin-ridden world run their course, He promises to bring good out of it for His own. His intention toward us is kind. Love is the heartbeat of our Redeemer. And He Himself is well-acquainted with grief, so He’s able to comfort us when we need it.

I am of great value to my God. When Jesus taught His disciples about overcoming fear, He based His command “Do not be afraid” on this fact: God notices every bird that falls to the ground. We (whom Jesus calls His friends!) are of much greater value than the birds, so there’s nothing to fear! Nothing in heaven or on earth could cause Him to forget His friends. He is ever attentive to our prayers and our plight.

image

I am never alone. Sometimes I catch myself dwelling on “what if’s.” But if I stop to think about it, I realize that the presence of God is noticeably absent in these scenarios. Here’s the reality – never will I face a trial or a struggle on my own. The indwelling Spirit of God, with all His infinite power and wisdom, is forever my Companion.

So when fear invades, this is how God is teaching me to respond. (This, of course, relates to unwarranted fear. In truly dangerous situations, fear can be a God-given response compelling us to “fight or flight.”)

Ask God for discernment. Is there a legitimate danger I need to face or flee? If not, then…

Notice whose “voice” I’m listening to. The devil’s native tongue is deceit, and he’s a master at distraction. If I’m entertaining fear, I’m most likely believing something that’s not true. Or forgetting something that is true.

Seek God for the truth that counters any lie.

Respond in faith, based on the truth. Quite often, the response of faith is opposite of what fear is driving me to do.

So, as I face the new year, I rejoice that our God became man, conquered death and is forever with us through His Spirit. He has good things stored up for His kids, and one day He will set all things right. In the meantime, His nearness is our good.

“But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works!” Ps 73:28.

May we treasure that nearness and trust His heart.

image

What about you? How do you respond when facing uncertain times? I’d love to learn what God has taught you!

Don’t take my word for it! Check out these passages:
Ps 31:19; 89:6,8; Rom 8:28,39; Eph 1:5,9; Zeph 3:17; Isa 53:3; 1 Jn 4: 8-10; Matt 10:29-31; Lk 12: 4-32; Isa 49:15-16; Heb 13:5

Free to Be Me

The secret is out. This is the real me.

image

A few weeks ago, we joined a homeschool co-op. I prepped my kids ahead of time…reminding them to be friendly, to be interested in others, to introduce themselves. You know, basic friend-making stuff. But inwardly, I was a bit anxious myself. I’m not naturally outgoing. Being the first to introduce myself is not exactly in my comfort zone. I, too, was hoping to make connections that would lead to new friendships.

I guess I was hoping to impress people, to make them like me.

You can imagine my embarrassment when, at the end of the first day, I had to search for my misplaced phone. I found it in the office. Assuming someone had turned it in, I asked where it had been found. The sweet lady gave me a puzzled look and told me it had been sitting on the desk all morning. Only then did I remember that I had come to the office first thing that morning in search of name tags. Hmmm….well, she’s not going to think of me as the most organized person in the group.

But really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Anyone can misplace their phone. (I just happen to do it all the time!)

However, when this same person locks her keys in the car the very next week…Well, the secret is out. This is the real me.

I spent nearly the entire final period in the parking lot waiting for a locksmith. The locksmith, of course, showed up in a huge conspicuous tow truck, just as classes were letting out and people were coming to their cars. He was a jolly fellow – asked how my day was going, as if locking oneself out of one’s car adds humor and excitement to the day.

I guess I should have smiled about it, laughed it off. But I was too worried about what people were thinking.

Ah, people pleasing. I know it well.

It can be paralyzing at times. I spend so much time trying to keep everyone happy. I work hard to make people think well of me – even when it means hiding my quirks and imperfections.

It’s an exhausting way to live, and God is teaching me that we were never designed to live this way.

Can I share with you what I’m learning? Because maybe, just maybe, I’m not alone in this people-pleasing craziness.

First, a person’s value lies not in what we do (or don’t do), but in who we are. Our Maker says we are “remarkably and wonderfully made” (Ps 139:14 HCSB). We bear the image of God (Gen 1:26-27). We are infinitely loved and valued – not because of our own merit or loveliness, but because God has set His love upon us (Eph 2:4-5).

image

Second, we all have emotional needs that God alone can satisfy. The longing for acceptance is a God-given desire. Its purpose is to lead us to Him. When we look to Him in faith, we find that we are relentlessly adored, unconditionally accepted, and even greatly liked – quirks and all. (See Hos 2:14-19, Eph 3:12, Zeph 3:17.) On the other hand, looking to people to meet this need will lead to disappointment and conflict.

Third, another person’s opinion does not define us. This may seem obvious, but I have many times internalized a rejection (real or perceived), as if it were true of me. When our identity is built on who God says we are, we can come back to that reality every time we begin to feel otherwise.

Finally, true friendships are based on transparency and acceptance. If we keep our shortcomings hidden, the relationship will not be genuine. We’ll wear ourselves out trying to keep up the charade.
image

This is, of course, not a “blanket excuse” for hurtful behavior. We shouldn’t excuse sin or selfishness under the guise of “just being myself.” In living authentically, we should never lose sight of grace.

But oh, the freedom of walking confidently in faith. When those shackles of fear start to fall off – what a glorious new beginning! It’s taking place in my life. How about you? How has God helped you overcome people-pleasing? I’d love to learn from your journey!

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says, ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength…’” (Is 30:15).