by MeredithNMills | May 17, 2015 | Uncategorized
Today was a rare occasion – I was silent for most of the day.
I can’t remember the last time I sat in quiet meditation as I soaked in my surroundings. I had forgotten how much the soul needs silence. The noise of daily life, it gets so deafening. Oh, how we need to make room for rest!
I’m in the mountains, sitting in a prayer garden right now – a meandering stream bubbling behind me, birds chirping out their Creator’s praise from the trees, a light breeze tickling the leaves above me. It’s beautiful. Cool and fresh and revitalizing. Not so hard to be silent here.
Do you ever feel like you’re not…enough? There’s not enough you to accomplish all that should be done? You haven’t done enough? You aren’t good enough? You just don’t measure up?
I do. I think I carry that sense, that label I’ve given myself, everywhere I go. It’s always there, subtle and often unrecognizable, but constant nonetheless. Even now, as I’m coming out of perfectionism and into a deeper realization of grace, it’s still there.
Today as I’ve sat in silence, worshipped without speaking, and communed with God in my heart, I have heard His still small voice.
He reminded me that I don’t have to be enough. I am loved. Infinitely loved. Passionately loved. Emotionally loved. Unconditionally loved. Relentlessly loved. Joyfully loved. Graciously loved. I am fully accepted by God on the grounds of Jesus’ righteousness. He is enough. I am in Him, and that is enough.
He needs nothing from me. Or you. Does that strike a blow to pride, or what! He doesn’t need my worship, as if He were insecurely egocentrical. He doesn’t need my service, as if He were incompetent on His own. He doesn’t need my witness, as if He doesn’t testify of Himself contstantly through His Word and in all of creation. He doesn’t need me to be better, as if I could improve myself for Him. He doesn’t need my fellowship, as if He were not fully satisfied within His Triune Self. He doesn’t need me.
Oh, but He wants me. And He wants you. Not for what we can do for Him, but “that He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Eph 2:7).
He wants to make examples of us – examples of people who are recipients of unheard of grace.
He wants to relate to us – that is the crux of Christianity, after all. Not doing, but relating. All our doing should be a mere overflow of our relating to Him. Walking with Him, communing with Him, responding to Him. That is genuine Christianity.
I found this prayer garden while on a walk with God this afternoon.
I had thought maybe God would say something profound, something new, during my alone time with Him. But He didn’t. He just reminded me that sometimes I don’t need something more or something new. I just need to be near Him. Walking in silence, aware of His presence, seeing His grace reflected everywhere around me – that is good.
He is not concerned about productivity. He is involved in transformation. And that takes place in His presence – during cultivated, set aside time with Him, and in walking through the dailyness of life with Him. Transforming Christianity is all about Jesus – by Him, for Him, through Him and to Him.
How do you make room for silence in your “everydayness”? What whisperings of God’s Spirit have you heard in times of quiet with Him?
by MeredithNMills | May 7, 2015 | joy, Uncategorized
“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing” Zeph 3:17.
Do you think of God as a joyful God?
John Piper said, “No one in the universe has more joy than God. He is infinitely joyful. He has rejoiced from eternity in the panorama of His own perfections reflected perfectly in the deity of His Son.”* I really had to ponder that when I read it in my devotional time a few days ago. God, the most joyful being in the universe? How can this be, when so much ugliness mars His creation? When sin runs rampant and His creatures hurt one another daily? When He is rejected by the very ones He came to save? When even we, His children, sin against Him?
When I think of describing God, joyful doesn’t usually come to mind. Holy, yes. Loving, yes. Powerful, sovereign, wise, yes. But joyful? Not so much.
Scripture is full of descriptions of God’s wrath against sin, verses like Psalm 7:11 – “God is a righteous Judge, and a God who feels indignation every day.” Especially in the Old Testament (and in prophecy still yet future), we see God pouring out judgment on the wicked. His immaculate holiness prevents flawed humanity from even approaching Him on our own, as seen by design of the Jewish tabernacle described in the book of Exodus.
How can this holy God, this God who is angry with sin everyday, be a God of infinite joy? The two pictures seem like diametric opposites.
I think this is hard to understand because I am interpreting what I know of God through my own human “finiteness.” We are all made in the image of God, but He is so much bigger, so much…more than us. Yes, He is emotional. But His emotions are not flawed by sin or limited by humanity as ours are. As a human, it is hard to feel opposite emotions at the same time. When joy and anger, excitement and sorrow, indignation and love fill my heart simultaneously, I find myself in a state of inner turmoil. Processing those emotions and responding to them leaves me conflicted and often uncertain.
But our infinite God, the self-existant One, is not limited by time and humanity as we are. He is fully capable of experiencing those emotions (and the corresponding responses) at the same time. All of our characteristics that bear His image are experienced in complete perfection by the good and holy Creator.
Additionally, it is vital to remember that God relates differently to those who are His children and those who are not.
Does that seem unfair? It is – Jesus chose to be treated unfairly. He totally didn’t deserve to die on a cross. I did. You did.
All of us have broken God’s holy law (Rom 3:23). Justice demanded that our sin be punished, and that punishment is all encompassing death – body, soul and spirit (Rom 6:23). If God were merely holy, He would have annihilated us all, and been fully justified in doing so.
Oh, but He is not merely holy. He is also loving.
He created us to experience a relationship with Him. That was His heart’s desire, and our sin didn’t change that. Our choices cannot change the essence of who He is. So, in love, He came in the form of a man, Jesus, to live a sinless life and die a sinner’s death. He acted as our representative. And now, after conquering death by rising again, He offers complete pardon and restoration to those who come to Him in faith (Rom 5:8, John 1:12, Eph 2:8-9). If you are “in Christ” through faith, your sins are fully forgiven and God sees you as righteous.
So now, the only way that God relates to His children is with mercy and grace. If that’s you, there is no need to ever fear His wrath because it was all poured out on Jesus. You are the apple of His eye, His treasured possession, the one He will rejoice over with singing (Zech 2:8, Ps 135:4, Rom 11, Zeph 3:17). You, child of God, are His heart’s delight, regardless of your “performance.” He loves you with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). God, our joyful God, rejoices over you!
Does this mean He will overlook sin in our lives? No – He is jealous of our relationship with Him, as a husband who passionately loves his wife is jealous of their exclusive relationship (2 Cor 11:2-3). He will discipline sin – those things that come between Him and us. But even that discipline flows from a heart of mercy, compassion and love.
God, our God, is infinitely joyful. And, if you belong to Him, He has invited you to share in His joy (Gal 5:22-23, Rom 15:13).
How does God’s rejoicing over you affect the way you view God? What impact does it have on you in the “moment-by-moment” living? I’d love to hear your comments!
*From Solid Joys devotional App, April 27.
by MeredithNMills | Apr 24, 2015 | ministry, serving, Uncategorized
She washed my feet that day.
It was hot and dusty in Ensenada, Mexico. So many things were different from what I knew – outdoor bathrooms, eating in the open air, houses with just two rooms in them, little stores in people’s homes… A completely new culture. And I loved it. I fell in love there…with fish tacos. And, more importantly, with the Mexican people. So beautiful. So generous. So kind.
We had just returned from a neighborhood outreach where we hosted a game of “football” (or “soccer,” as we Americans call it.) My sandaled feet were dusty and dirty from walking on the unpaved roads, so I sat down on a retaining wall next to a water spigot to wash them.
A Mexican woman, my sister in Christ, watched as I tried to balance on the wall while scrubbing my feet. Then suddenly, she walked over and knelt beside me. She took my dirty feet in her hands and began to wash them for me.
I was speechless. How do you thank someone who just showed you Jesus in such a vivid way?
That memory is forever etched in my heart and mind. I don’t even know her name. But she was Jesus to me that day. And someday I will meet her again. We will talk uninhibited by language barriers about the Servant Master we both love.
This memory came to mind recently as I read from John 13 with my kids. Jesus, Creator of the universe, Most High God and King of Kings, knelt before His followers and served them. He did the lowest of jobs, a job reserved for servants, when He washed their stinky feet. It was a picture of His love for them. And an example for them (and us) to follow.
But I’ve always wondered why the Bible includes verse three – “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God.” Apparently, this was the basis of His service. What significance did this knowledge have for Jesus? Philippians 2:6-7 gives an interesting parallel. Jesus, “although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-slave…”
The man Jesus was totally secure in His identity. The Father knew Him and had given Him authority over all things. That was enough for Jesus. He didn’t have to prove that, to grasp that equality. It’s who He is, regardless of whether people recognized Him or not. Because He didn’t live for the approval of man, He was able to empty Himself and serve.
And that can be true of us as well. A few verses earlier in Phillipians 2, we are told to “do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (v. 3). It’s not that we are less important than others. We are all made in the image of God. But we don’t have to prove our worth, because God knows us and has given us our identity.
As God’s child, I am chosen and greatly loved. I have been made holy and blameless through the blood of Christ. I was adopted because He wanted me. He has freely, lavishly, bestowed grace upon me and has given me every spiritual blessing. I am redeemed and forgiven. His intentions toward me, His child, are kind. I have been given an eternal inheritance and have received the Holy Spirit to seal and guarantee that inheritance. His surpassingly great power is for me. (See Eph 1.) In Christ who loves me, I overwhelmingly conquer (Rom 8:37). Direct, bold access has been granted to the throne room of the Almighty (Heb 4:16). He has personally drawn me near (Eph 2:13). I am firmly rooted and complete in Christ (Col 2:7,10). I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17), God’s masterpiece (Eph 2:10). And nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever separate me from the steadfast love of my Jesus (Rom 8:38).
That is just a taste of my identity as a follower of Jesus. Is it yours? If you know Jesus, it is your identity as well. Nothing can change that – not our sin, not the opinion of others. Our Creator defines us and has blessed us beyond measure.
If God knows us, and says this is who we are, we have no need to “grasp equality” with those around us. We have nothing to prove. So like Jesus, we can freely serve those God puts in our lives. The indwelling Spirit of Jesus will direct and empower us as He lives His life through us.
When has someone been Jesus to you?
by MeredithNMills | Apr 19, 2015 | Uncategorized
I will never forget the excitement of watching my babies learn to walk. Even knowing the drastic changes that come with a mobile baby, I still coaxed and bribed and urged them to try. And when they took that first step, and those wobbly next few steps, I cheered them on with heartfelt exuberance. Even now, I thrill at the new life “steps” they take…starting school, learning to swim, picking up a new instrument. The going is slow, but there’s value in the process. Never in my wildest dreams would I scold or punish them for falling down as they learn to walk. It wouldn’t cross my mind to reprimand, “Well, that was pretty good, but I really expected something from Chopin, not ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'”
Why then, do I suppose God is disappointed with my feeble, faltering attempts to love and follow Him? Why do I see a frowning countenance in my mind’s eye when I think of how my heavenly Father views me? Do I forget that Jesus has a sympathetic heart toward me (Heb 4:15-16)? He knows what it’s like to be human, to be weak, tired, and angry. He knows how it feels to have given to everyone else and not even have time for Himself (Mark 6:31-32). And though He never did, He knows I will sometimes fail (Rom 7:19).
So when I fall down, what is God’s response? Am I a failure in His eyes? Does He expect me to strengthen my resolve and pull myself back up so I can prove to Him I’ll do better next time? I don’t think so. I think He’s there to pick me up, brush me off, and set me on my feet again. In other words, I think this is really all about Him, not me. It is God who works in me, causing my heart and life to line up with who He is (Phil 2:13).
He is forming Christ in me (Gal 4:19). It’s a process. And He is just as concerned with the process as He is with the final product. If His plan was for me to be perfect and sinless now, He would have completely removed my flesh (Rom 7:18-20), or just taken me to heaven once He saved me. The fact that He didn’t do those things is proof to me that this wrestling, this “two steps forward one step back,” is part of His overarching work. It’s how I learn to depend on Him, to live relating to Him rather than independently.
Yes, He wants me to live in victory over sin – He purchased it for me with His blood! He desires for me to choose to follow Him out of a heart of love and worship. But He also wants me to know that I am loved and accepted even when I don’t. He wants me to know that His approval of me is based on Jesus’ righteousness, not mine. My righteousness didn’t earn my salvation, nor will it earn His favor now. He is pleased when He sees Christ being formed in me. He is pleased when, through His Spirit in me, I resist temptation. He is also pleased when, through His Spirit in me, I cry out for help from the mire I’ve fallen back into.
And that, my friend, is my new definition of success. Cooperating with Him as He forms Jesus in me. Learning from Him. Surrendering to His leading. Letting Him express Himself through me. Progress, not perfection.
So what does this look like in my daily life? Maybe it means a day spent fighting for joy, instead of surrendering to discouragement or weariness, is a day well spent. Maybe it means time spent with my kids is not wasted, though the house is a mess and we picked up pizza for dinner. Maybe it means doing a “home date” with hubby once the kids are in bed is the better choice, rather than “doing something productive.” Maybe it means that just getting one room cleaned (and being okay with the fact that it will be messy tomorrow!) is good enough. Maybe it means He’s pleased when I walk with Him through the day, even when I couldn’t drag myself out of bed for a long “quiet time.”
Ultimately, success may not always look like success to us. Our hearts may condemn us as failures. But God is greater than our hearts (1 Jn 3:20). He has declared that there is no condemnation for those of us who are “in Christ” (Rom 8:1). When our hearts, or the opinions of others, declare us to be failures, we would do well to consider these questions: Whose approval am I defined by (Col 2:13-14)? Is my life centered upon Jesus (1 Cor 3:11)? Am I progressively becoming more like Christ? (Rom 8:29). These things lie at the heart of true success. They make all the difference in God’s eyes.
The apostle Paul was a highly successful Israelite religious leader. But a life-altering encounter with Jesus changed his definition of success. He gave up everything, was imprisoned for Christ, and ultimately died as a martyr. Not too successful, humanly speaking. But this was his testimony. “…I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith” (Phil 3:8-9).
So what’s your definition of success? Please feel free to comment – I’d love to hear your thoughts!
by MeredithNMills | Apr 12, 2015 | abiding in Christ, Uncategorized
“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.”
That quote hangs on the wall at a fast-food restaurant we visited earlier this week. At first, I chuckled and thought it was just a silly quote. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized – there is some truth to it. In fact, as a “recovering perfectionist,” God has been teaching me to do just that. To step back and reevaluate my definition of success in light of reality, in light of God’s priorities.
Hubby and I often joke about my impossible “To Do” lists. Really. Truly. Impossible. Impossible even if days were 48 hours long, and not just twenty-four. And the problem with such “To Do” lists is that I rarely feel like I’ve succeeded. There are always more tasks to do, no matter how much I did accomplish.
And this is not just true of my written “To Do” lists. It’s true of my unspoken expectations as well. I need to be wife, and mommy, and household manager, and housekeeper, and decorator, and cook, and cleaner, and homeschool teacher, and church member, and Bible study attendee, and friend, and neighbor, and citizen…And I need to do all those things well. But it seems that if I really focus on one area, the other areas start to slip. It feels impossible to keep up.
Especially when I spend time on Pinterest or Facebook. So many fun ideas. So many healthy recipes. So many ways to do more, to be better. As if my own expectations of myself were not enough. Now I add the pressure of comparison. And I’m left feeling even more inadequate. Unsuccessful.
So, yes. A redefinition of success is in order.
How does Jesus define success? In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells a parable of three servants entrusted with the stewardship of their master’s wealth in varying amounts. Two servants manage their money well, and are able to return double to their master when he returns. The master is overjoyed at their success and welcomes them to celebrate with him.
It’s interesting to note that the master didn’t compare the servants’ success. One was initially given five bags of gold (NIV) and returned ten, while the other was given two and returned four. But both received the same approval from their master. Likewise, I don’t believe that God is comparing us with other people. He rejoices over our progress, no matter how small it may seem.
The third servant buries his master’s money and has only that same money to return to his master. His motivation? Fear of his master. He appears to have had no personal relationship with the master to motivate his service, and he did as little as he possibly could. And the master does not approve of his service. Rather than being welcomed into his master’s presence, he is sent away.
Similarly, God wants our lives to characterized by “faith working through love” (Gal 5:6), not fear. (See 1 Jn 4:16-19.)
The Christian life is first and foremost a relationship. It was love that motivated God to send His Son to redeem us (Jn 3:16, Rom 5:8). And He wants us, by faith, to love Him in return. From that mutual love relationship, everything else flows.
Enoch (Gen 5:22-24, Heb 11:5) was a man we know very little about. But two things stand out about his life. He walked with God, and He pleased God. Boil it all down, and you will find this at the heart of godly success -walking with God.
Jesus called it “abiding” in Him (Jn 15). Staying connected, being close to Him, drawing on His wisdom and strength moment by moment.
So as you go about your day, as you make decisions and interact with people and fulfill your responsibilities, ponder this question:
Where is Jesus in your world?
Is He Someone you touched base with this morning, maybe? Is He Someone you need to try to make time for? Or is He THE Someone everything else revolves around, like the hub of a bicycle wheel with your other priorities like spokes radiating outward? To be truly successful, He must be central. He is the foundation of success.
Stay tuned for more thoughts on redefining success… In the meantime, how do you keep Jesus central? Any practical thoughts on abiding in Him? I’d love to hear!
