4 Myths About Gentleness

4 Myths About Gentleness

What pictures come to mind when you hear the word gentle? A soft breeze? A kid-friendly pet? A woman known for her kindness?

While these images capture some of the word’s meaning, the Bible portrays gentleness in a more audacious way than we tend to assume. For Christians called to “put on hearts of gentleness” (Colossians 3:12), it’s important we understand how the Bible uses this word.

To read about the 4 myths of gentleness I used to believe, hop over to Bible Study Tools.

How to Help Your Child Deal with Rejection

How to Help Your Child Deal with Rejection

Applause erupted as our daughter stood to receive her third award of the evening. She beamed with excitement while walking on stage. I listened to the praise of both her teachers and peers. My heart swelled with joy. Their words confirmed what I already knew—she’s an incredible kid.

At the same time, I ached for her brother, who received no awards that night. He’s an amazing kid, too. He did well in his classes, and his kind, fun-loving personality won him many friends. Still, he took home no awards.

Oh, the depth of conflicting emotions a parent’s heart can hold in the same moment.

On the way home, our son commented, “I wonder why I didn’t get any awards.” I turned in the front passenger seat and looked at him with compassion. I’ve experienced these gut-wrenching feelings before, too. I know what it’s like to anticipate affirmation and come away disappointed. I know how hard it is to celebrate with a friend while trying to mask my own pain.

How can we help our kids deal with rejection? Here are some thoughts on preparing them for both disappointment and success:

Our children have different talents and gifts.

As we sat in the car that night, we reminisced about swim team last summer when our son was the one winning the awards. His sister won some, too. But that night, he excelled.

God created each of our kids with unique abilities and individual talents. Faithfulness in using our gifts is more valuable than receiving the applause of others. God sees our hard work, our diligence, and our perseverance—even when others don’t.

God gives us value and identity.

Our son builds amazing Lego creations. He draws detailed bridges. He memorizes facts and Bible verses easily. But none of these abilities define him. They don’t give him his worth any more than his struggles diminish his worth.

Our kids have intrinsic value simply because God made them in His image. No other creature has received such a gift. The praise or criticism of people can’t change the reality of who they are. The Creator of the universe deeply loves them, wants them, and delights in them. He died to make a way for them to be close to Him.

Jesus understands rejection.

In becoming human, Jesus showed us the heart of God. He spent His days loving, healing, teaching—pouring Himself out for those He created. In the end, they rejected Him. They falsely accused Him, spit on Him, beat Him, and ultimately crucified Him.

He gets rejection.

His heart goes out to our kids when they are overlooked. He invites them to tell him all about their feelings—not just the pretty ones, but the raw, unfiltered emotions, too. He understands. This place of vulnerability can be the very spot where they encounter God. He’s able to comfort them, heal their wounds, and bring beauty out of their pain.

“I’d choose you.”

When I was young, my mom read a book to me entitled I’d Choose You by John Trent. In this story, a mother elephant describes several scenarios in which she would choose her own son over any other child, no matter who performed best.

I long for my kids to possess a deep confidence that even if another person does something better than they do, I would still choose them—simply because they’re mine. They are loved and treasured, just as they are.

Rejoice with those who rejoice.

Our kids enjoy cheering on their friends, whether it’s an awards ceremony or a swim meet. It’s fun to watch the success of those we love.

It can be difficult to rejoice, though, when someone else’s triumph means our loss. Choosing to celebrate our friends’ or siblings’ achievements develops humility and strengthens friendships.

We can help our kids grow in this by praying with them—leading them in telling God about their feelings and asking for his joy. Then, together, we can take a practical step toward celebration— telling their sibling, “I’m proud of you,” writing a “Congratulations” card, or sending a “Way to go” text. Finally, we can affirm them and reinforce the good character they’ve just displayed by expressing how proud we are of them.

Define true success.

I’ll never forget the day a teacher pulled me aside to talk about a recent incident in P.E. One of the boys was struggling with an activity. Our son noticed and took it upon himself to help this boy, staying by his side as they played the game.

Hearing this brought happy tears to my eyes. I rejoiced in our son’s compassion displayed that day.

“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6b). God looks at our kids’ hearts. He values faith and love. He honors integrity and good character. Our kids need to know we do, too.

If we look to good grades or achievement as the measure of success, we’re setting our children up for future problems. Some may be tempted to cheat their way to a good report card. Others may define themselves by their scores—being devastated by poor grades or conceited by good ones.

Our kids need to know that while their grades matter and we’ll celebrate good ones together, report cards exist mainly to show us where there’s room for improvement. A poor grade can indicate the need to devote extra time to a subject or approach it differently. It may point out room for personal growth in diligence, perseverance, or attentiveness. Sometimes, it can even alert us to a possible learning difficulty or disorder.

True success is measured not by an award or the grade on a test but by what’s in the heart.

Rejection affects all of us. Our kids will be overlooked, left out, or even shunned. When this happens, we have the priceless opportunity of pointing them to Jesus and helping them grow stronger and more empathetic through the pain.

Let’s take every opportunity to affirm our children. Let’s instruct them in true success, the beauty of faith, and the value of integrity. The worth of these things will last for eternity.

This article originally appeared on Crosswalk, 03/05/2024:

https://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/how-to-help-your-child-deal-with-rejection.html

What’s So Good About the Gospel?

What’s So Good About the Gospel?

If you ask ten people to define the gospel, you’ll likely get ten different answers. Over time and through frequency of use, the word gospel has lost much of its meaning. As Christians, we know it has to do with salvation. We accepted the gospel when we came to faith in Jesus, and we’re supposed to share the gospel with others.

Yet how can we share what we don’t clearly understand? What does the Bible really teach about the gospel?

To read more about the gospel, who it’s for, and what makes it really good news, hop over to Bible Study Tools:

https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/whats-so-good-about-the-gospel.html

7 Qualities of a Peacemaker

7 Qualities of a Peacemaker

How can Christians promote peace in a world filled with conflict? What qualities characterize those who work for harmony and reconciliation?

The theme of peace weaves through Scripture like a golden thread. Jesus left his disciples with the promise of peace (John 14:27). Ephesians describes the good news of our faith as “the gospel of peace” (6:15) and God calls Christians to “live in peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11).

But what is this peace the Bible describes? Is it the absence of hardship or avoidance of conflict? Can everyday Christians experience it, or is it reserved for a few “super saints?”

What Is Biblical Peace?

God’s concept of peace far exceeds pleasant life circumstances. The Engedi Resource Center explains, “We tend to understand it as the absence of war or as calmness of spirit. But along with these ideas, the Hebrew word shalom also carries a greater connotation of well-being, health, safety, prosperity, wholeness, and completeness.”

Like a puzzle with all its pieces in place, shalom means things line up with their intended design. A peacemaker, then, is someone who works to restore what is broken or incomplete — especially in the context of relationships.

Jesus is the ultimate peacemaker. Isaiah prophesied of the coming Messiah as the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) and Ephesians 2:14 tells us Jesus is our peace. His life, death, and resurrection made reconciliation with the Father possible for all who come to him in faith (Romans 5:10). Engedi clarifies, “This is the Hebraic understanding of salvation, not just that we will go to heaven when we die, but that we have an unbroken, loving relationship with God here on earth.”

Biblical peace, then, is rooted in our peace with God — beginning at salvation and growing through our ongoing connection with him. According to Jesus, we can experience this inner rest even in times of trouble and pain.  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

7 Qualities of a Peacemaker

1. Secure Identity

Since we have peace with God through Jesus, we can experience a growing peace with ourselves — regardless of our past mistakes, our current struggles, or the opinions of others. 

He’s given us a new identity:

– Well-loved children (1 John 3:1)

– Wanted family members (Romans 8:15-16)

– New creations (2 Corinthians 5:17)

– His masterpieces (Ephesians 2:10)

– Friends of God (John 15:15)

– Citizens of his kingdom (Ephesians 2:19)

– Ambassadors of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:20)

– People who are being transformed (Philippians 1:6)

He’s lavished us with good gifts:

– Reconciliation with God (2 Corinthians 5:18)

– His indwelling Spirit (Romans 5:5)

– Confident access to his heart (Hebrews 10:19-23)

– Abundant favor (John 1:16)

– Forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7)

– His goodness credited to us (2 Corinthians 5:21)

– Loving care for our needs (Matthew 6: 25-34)

– Provision to live out our callings (2 Peter 1:3)

– Wisdom learned through relating to Christ (Colossians 2:2-3)

This describes our identity as God’s children — regardless of what our emotions or other people tell us. As his acceptance takes root and we learn to own our God-given identity, we can extend his peace to others. We can live loved instead of needy, at rest instead of striving, secure instead of desperate for others’ approval. 

When our hearts are at peace, we’re free to live as peacemakers.

2. Welcoming Attitude

A welcoming heart forms the core of peacemaking. In Romans 14, God tells us how to relate with Christians who practice their faith differently from us — with acceptanceBlue Letter Bible explains that acceptance involves extending friendship and granting access to one’s heart. It’s like leaving the door unlocked so our friends can walk on in. It’s the kind of welcome that’s easy to offer those who are like us, but hard to extend to those who are different. 

And yet, because God has accepted us, we’re called to welcome others in the same way (Romans 14:3).

To live as peacemakers, we must understand how God welcomes us, because when we live accepted, we have acceptance to give others. This welcoming heart equips us to promote peace in our relationships. It helps us communicate with curiosity and a desire to understand. It teaches us to cultivate healthy conversations where people feel heard and not shut down — even around subjects where we disagree.

3. Intentional Purpose

In Luke 1:78-79, we read that Jesus guides our feet into the path of peace. To guide, as Blue Letter Bible says, involves removing any hindrances which block the path toward someone. Jesus took away the obstacles which stood between us and God. He paid for our sin and purchased our freedom so we could draw near to the God of peace (Ephesians 3:12).

As his followers, we have the privilege of guiding people to God, too. “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18). When we help people overcome the obstacles blocking their path toward God (both non-Christians and believers), we are living as peacemakers. 

4. Humble Heart

Humility shows up repeatedly in Bible passages talking about Christian unity. (See Romans 12:3-18Ephesians 4:1-3Philippians 2:1-11 for starters.) Often misunderstood, humility isn’t self-deprecation or self-hatred. On the contrary, humility holds an accurate opinion of oneself. Romans 12:3 instructs, “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”

Jesus used humility to describe himself (Matthew 11:28-30). Philippians 2:6-8 shows what this looked like in his life. He knew his divinity but chose not to “use it to his advantage” (Philippians 2:6-11). Instead of holding himself aloof, he became one of us. He served in both menial and miraculous ways as he brought his peace to earth.

When we, like Jesus, are secure in our God-given identity, we can love, honor, and serve others from a heart of humility. We’re free to work for peace, regardless of the response we may receive.

5. Healthy Boundaries

We can only love well, however, when we maintain healthy personal boundaries. Jesus modeled boundary setting as he lived for his Father’s pleasure alone. He prioritized secluded time in prayer. He didn’t heal every sick person in Israel, and he didn’t allow the crowds to dictate how he conducted his ministry. Through his example, we see that healthy boundary setting is rooted in obedience to God (John 5:19,30; 8:28).

Knowing our limitations, being committed to God’s call on our lives, respecting ourselves as images bearers of God – these essential choices help preserve the peace of our own souls. Only when our hearts are at rest can we live as effective peacemakers.

This takes deep reliance on God’s Spirit to help us discern when to sacrifice and when to say no. As we learn to live for his pleasure, graciously refusing to be controlled by others’ expectations, we’ll have his peace to extend to others.

6. Life-Giving Speech

“The tongue has the power of life and death,” Proverbs 18:21 reminds us. As peacemakers, life-giving speech forms a crucial aspect of our calling. Through our words, we can help others find peace with God and live in harmony with each other. 

What does this look like? It’s seen when we’re slow to argue (2 Timothy 2:23-24). It shows up as we prioritize listening and understanding, with an aim toward harmony (Romans 14:19James 1:19). It leads us to respect and honor one another (Romans 12:101 Peter 3:15). It helps us to pursue justice, to love mercy, and to walk in humility (Micah 6:8). It marks our speech with kindness and truth (Proverbs 3:3, NASB). 

All these actions come from the empowering, transforming presence of God’s Spirit within us. As we live connected to the Prince of Peace, he forms his character in our hearts, giving us peacemaking words to share with others.

7. Doing What We Can

Romans 12:18 reminds us that ultimately, making peace is bigger than our personal choices: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Peacemaking always involves more than one party. Just as it takes two or more to disagree, it takes two or more to create harmony. God calls us to do our part — to extend welcome and work for peace, to walk in humility, set healthy boundaries, and speak in life-giving ways. 

Sometimes, though, others are unwilling or unable to meet us in a place of peace. In these situations, we can rest, knowing we’ve done what we can. We can pray for harmony, wholeness, and restored relationships, and then entrust our circumstances to the God of peace.

Peacekeeping or Peacemaking?

Keeping the peace and living as peacemakers are two very different lifestyles. 

Keeping the peace looks like avoiding conflict, dodging hard conversations, or ignoring broken situations. It sacrifices healing for surface happiness and often leads to shallow friendships and the absence of real connection. 

True peacemaking, however, prioritizes God’s kind of peace (Romans 14:17-19). Peace rooted in restoration with God. Peace that promotes wholeness. Peace that mends and leads to flourishing.

As we walk with God, he’ll teach us to discern the difference and show us how to work for his kind of peace.

When Life Isn’t Peaceful

Even though we’ve been reconciled to God, enjoy a new identity, and are equipped to spread his peace, sometimes our own hearts are in turmoil. How do we live as peacemakers when difficult seasons overwhelm us? When circumstances break our hearts? When we or others set in motion events that cause deep brokenness? 

The Psalms are full of raw prayers from people wrestling with similar questions. David cried out, “My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” (Psalm 6:3). The sons of Korah wrote, “My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’” (Psalm 42:3). 

Right now, we live in the space between the cross and Jesus’ return. He’s building his kingdom in hearts around the globe. He’s restoring and mending and making things new. But life here is still broken. Creation still groans. Humans still wound one another. Sickness and death still invade without warning.

Jesus’ promise of peace beckons us back to the Prince of Peace. He calls us to bring our authentic selves — pouring out the thoughts and emotions, the questions and doubts, the anxiety and agony raging in our souls. This honest place can be holy ground as we can experience Immanuel — God with us — in the middle of our pain (Psalm 116:7Hebrews 4:16). 

Psalm 42 gives a beautiful example of the psalmist processing his inner turmoil in God’s presence. He acknowledges his pain to the Lord (verses 3, 9-10). He asks himself probing questions (verse 5a, 11a). He remembers God — who God has been for him, and the love God has lavished on him (verse 6-8). And as the psalmist pours out his heart, hope once again takes root in his soul (verse 5b, 11b).

As we allow God to care for us in the deepest part of our being, mending our brokenness and forming his character in our lives, we’ll experience growing peace in our souls. This peace in us will overflow through us, equipping us to bring his peace to our everyday spaces.

This article originally appeared on Bible Study Tools, 02/19/2024:

https://www.biblestudytools.com/slideshows/7-undeniable-qualities-of-a-peacemaker.html

A Joyful God

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing” Zeph 3:17.

Do you think of God as a joyful God?

image

image

John Piper said, “No one in the universe has more joy than God. He is infinitely joyful. He has rejoiced from eternity in the panorama of His own perfections reflected perfectly in the deity of His Son.”* I really had to ponder that when I read it in my devotional time a few days ago. God, the most joyful being in the universe? How can this be, when so much ugliness mars His creation? When sin runs rampant and His creatures hurt one another daily? When He is rejected by the very ones He came to save? When even we, His children, sin against Him?

When I think of describing God, joyful doesn’t usually come to mind. Holy, yes. Loving, yes. Powerful, sovereign, wise, yes. But joyful? Not so much.

Scripture is full of descriptions of God’s wrath against sin, verses like Psalm 7:11 – “God is a righteous Judge, and a God who feels indignation every day.” Especially in the Old Testament (and in prophecy still yet future), we see God pouring out judgment on the wicked. His immaculate holiness prevents flawed humanity from even approaching Him on our own, as seen by design of the Jewish tabernacle described in the book of Exodus.

How can this holy God, this God who is angry with sin everyday, be a God of infinite joy? The two pictures seem like diametric opposites.

I think this is hard to understand because I am interpreting what I know of God through my own human “finiteness.” We are all made in the image of God, but He is so much bigger, so much…more than us. Yes, He is emotional. But His emotions are not flawed by sin or limited by humanity as ours are. As a human, it is hard to feel opposite emotions at the same time. When joy and anger, excitement and sorrow, indignation and love fill my heart simultaneously, I find myself in a state of inner turmoil. Processing those emotions and responding to them leaves me conflicted and often uncertain.

But our infinite God, the self-existant One, is not limited by time and humanity as we are. He is fully capable of experiencing those emotions (and the corresponding responses) at the same time. All of our characteristics that bear His image are experienced in complete perfection by the good and holy Creator.

Additionally, it is vital to remember that God relates differently to those who are His children and those who are not.

image

Does that seem unfair? It is – Jesus chose to be treated unfairly. He totally didn’t deserve to die on a cross. I did. You did.

image

All of us have broken God’s holy law (Rom 3:23). Justice demanded that our sin be punished, and that punishment is all encompassing death – body, soul and spirit (Rom 6:23). If God were merely holy, He would have annihilated us all, and been fully justified in doing so.

Oh, but He is not merely holy. He is also loving.

He created us to experience a relationship with Him. That was His heart’s desire, and our sin didn’t change that. Our choices cannot change the essence of who He is. So, in love, He came in the form of a man, Jesus, to live a sinless life and die a sinner’s death. He acted as our representative. And now, after conquering death by rising again, He offers complete pardon and restoration to those who come to Him in faith (Rom 5:8, John 1:12, Eph 2:8-9). If you are “in Christ” through faith, your sins are fully forgiven and God sees you as righteous.

So now, the only way that God relates to His children is with mercy and grace. If that’s you, there is no need to ever fear His wrath because it was all poured out on Jesus. You are the apple of His eye, His treasured possession, the one He will rejoice over with singing (Zech 2:8, Ps 135:4, Rom 11, Zeph 3:17). You, child of God, are His heart’s delight, regardless of your “performance.” He loves you with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). God, our joyful God, rejoices over you!

Does this mean He will overlook sin in our lives? No – He is jealous of our relationship with Him, as a husband who passionately loves his wife is jealous of their exclusive relationship (2 Cor 11:2-3). He will discipline sin – those things that come between Him and us. But even that discipline flows from a heart of mercy, compassion and love.

God, our God, is infinitely joyful. And, if you belong to Him, He has invited you to share in His joy (Gal 5:22-23, Rom 15:13).

image

How does God’s rejoicing over you affect the way you view God? What impact does it have on you in the “moment-by-moment” living? I’d love to hear your comments!

*From Solid Joys devotional App, April 27.