What pictures come to mind when you hear the word gentle? A soft breeze? A kid-friendly pet? A woman known for her kindness?
While these images capture some of the word’s meaning, the Bible portrays gentleness in a more audacious way than we tend to assume. For Christians called to “put on hearts of gentleness” (Colossians 3:12), it’s important we understand how the Bible uses this word.
Gentleness Starts with Jesus
God calls us to be gentle because he is gentle. He is our starting point. When we experience his gentleness toward us, we learn how he intends this quality to flourish in our lives.
The same is true of all the fruits of the Spirit. We’re called to live in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control because that’s who God is (Galatians 5:21-22). These are the fruits of the Spirit because they describe the Holy Spirit’s character. As our hearts become more like his, his fruit naturally grows within us.
The best place to see what God’s gentleness looks like is in the life of Jesus. Hebrews 1:3 explains that Jesus “radiates God’s own glory and expresses the very character of God…” In him, gentleness plays out in the nitty-gritty of everyday life.
Yet sometimes Jesus’ story is confusing. We can easily see his gentleness when he stood silent before his accusers, or when he rode into Jerusalem on a donkey instead of a war horse. But what about when he called the religious leaders a “brood of vipers” or drove the money changers out of the temple with a whip (Matthew 27:12-14, 21:4-5, 12: 34-35, John 2:15-17)?
This confusion highlights several myths we often assume about gentleness.
Myth 1: Gentleness Makes Me a Doormat
In English, the word gentleness sometimes carries the connotation of timidity. In fact, some versions of our English Bible translate the word as meekness, which sounds a lot like weakness — especially when used in common expressions like “meek as a lamb.”
This can lead us to wonder, if I choose to cultivate gentleness, am I giving up my voice? Does it look like a lack of passion, preference, or ambition?
Gentleness in Jesus’ Life
Our gentle, humble Jesus was anything but a doormat. While he washed the feet of his betrayer and sometimes chose to be silent, he had no problem setting boundaries or speaking his mind. No human controlled what he said or what he did.
And he didn’t simply act gentle when he walked our planet. He described his very heart as gentle (Matthew 11:29).
Jesus, at the core of his being, is gentle.
This has always been God’s heart — even in the Old Testament. The psalmist David praised God saying, “You have also given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand upholds me; and your gentleness makes me great” (Psalm 18:35).
Because God’s character is consistent (Malachi 3:6), every one of Jesus’ actions flowed from his gentle heart. He was gentle when he allowed himself to be “crushed for our sins” at the cross (Isaiah 53:5). And he was gentle when he tossed the greedy money changers out of his Father’s house.
Gentleness, according to Jesus, is controlled strength.
One commentary defines this fruit of the Spirit as “the right blend of force and reserve. [It] avoids unnecessary harshness, yet without compromising or without being too slow to use necessary force.” Ray Stedman write it is “real strength, but it does not have to display itself or show off how strong it is. This is what our Lord beautifully displayed [when] he described himself as ‘meek and lowly in heart.’”
Through Jesus’ example, we see that God’s kind of gentleness expresses itself in both silence and boldness. As we listen to his Spirit, resting in his gentleness and allowing him to direct and empower us, we’ll learn to:
– Entrust ourselves to God as our Defender
– Treat others (and ourselves) with kindness and respect
– Speak the truth in love
– Uphold wise personal boundaries
– Handle conflict constructively
Myth 2: Gentleness Is Just for Women
As a woman who’s spent my life in Christian circles, I know 1 Peter 3:3-4 like I know my own name. In fact, these verses used to form my primary framework for understanding God’s call to gentleness — “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God” (NLT).
So, is gentleness just for women then?
Gentleness in Jesus’ Life
When God took on flesh, he came to us as a man — still fully God, now also fully human. By his own description, as well as his interactions with people, Jesus revealed his gentle heart. If God the Son is characterized by gentleness, it can’t possibly be a quality he intends primarily for women.
It’s also interesting to note that 1 Peter 3:4 (above) is the only instance where the call to gentleness is specifically given to women. In other passages, Christians in general (or church leaders) are called to exemplify this quality.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12).
Gentleness is God’s desire for all who follow Jesus.
Myth 3: Gentleness Comes Naturally to Some People
I used to think I had gentleness down pat. As a naturally quiet, non-confrontational person, I assumed gentleness was just part of my personality. The more I study the Bible, though, the more I realize no one is naturally gentle.
Marg Mowczko says being “gentle has nothing to do with being shy, demure, passive, or weak. Rather, it involves both self-control and humility when dealing with others. It also involves cooperating with the work of the Holy Spirit.”
For both strong and subdued personalities, true gentleness is a work of God’s grace. HELPS Word-studies explains that Biblical gentleness “is the fruit (product) of the Holy Spirit…It is never something humanly accomplished (or simply biological).”
Gentleness in Jesus’ Life
In a mystery that’s hard to comprehend, Jesus modeled the same dependance on God to which he calls each of us.
“So Jesus explained, ‘I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does’” (John 5:19).
He sought the Father’s guidance through prayer. He yielded to the Father’s will in the Garden of Gethsemane. He spoke what he heard from the Father and was quiet when the Father wanted him to be silent.
In his humanity, Jesus relied on God to guide his life and ministry.
In a similar way, he calls us to cooperate with the work of his indwelling Spirit. For every personality type – introverts and extroverts – the Holy Spirit alone can cultivate gentleness in our hearts and live out his gentle strength through us.
Myth 4: Gentleness Is the Opposite of Anger
It’s easy to think of anger as evil, to assume we should never feel upset at the people or circumstances around us. Yet Ephesians 4:26 teaches us it’s possible to be angry without sinning: “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
The feeling of anger is not sinful. Like all other emotions, it is simply part of being human, of bearing the image of a God who also experiences emotion.
When boundaries are crossed or promises are broken, when disappointments mount or dreams die, when conflicts sabotage our well-laid plans, it’s natural for us to feel angry. Anger is not the opposite of gentleness.
In fact, gentleness is “the middle course in being angry, standing between two extremes, getting angry without reason and not getting angry at all. Therefore, [gentleness] is getting angry at the right time, in the right measure, and for the right reason” (Lexical Aids to the New Testament in the Key Word Study Bible).
Gentleness in Jesus’ Life
Jesus expressed anger when he walked our planet. Once, he called certain people “faithless and corrupt,” and then asked, “How long must I put up with you?” (Matthew 17:17).
Another time, while his critics watched for a reason to condemn him, Jesus “looked around at them in anger and [was] deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts” (Mark 3:5a). After reading the situation, he performed the very miracle they hoped he’d do. He didn’t fear their hatred, and he didn’t hate them back. Instead “…He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly” (1 Peter 2:23b).
With a gentle heart, Jesus lived out “the middle course in being angry.” And he’s willing, through his Spirit, to teach us to do the same.
He invites us to process our emotions with him. In prayer, we can name our feelings, express our anger to him, and tell him exactly what’s going through our minds. Then in the silence that follows, he calls us to listen for his still, small voice speaking in our hearts—helping us sort out our emotions, renewing our minds with his perspective, and teaching us to live gently in each situation we face.
The Heart of Gentleness
Gentleness begins on the inside, as “an inwrought grace of the soul” (Blue Letter Bible). It takes shape deep within as we experience God’s gentleness in our own lives. When he surprises us with tenderness and compassion, our soul’s hard places begin to soften. Trust takes root as God teaches us that he’s for us. Our God-given identity starts to push out the need to prove or defend ourselves. Humility grows in place of self-centeredness.
This inwrought grace has a profound impact on our relationships — first with God, then with ourselves and those around us:
With God, gentleness teaches us to walk by faith. It helps us entrust ourselves to him when we’re wronged. It enables us to rest in the assurance that he’s always working for our good. It strengthens us to rely on his Spirit when he calls us to be bold.
Gentleness teaches us to live relationally with him.
With ourselves, gentleness loosens the shackles of self-preoccupation. Because God defines and takes care of us, we can trust him to meet our needs. We can learn to be patient and gracious with ourselves, because that’s how God treats us. We can let go of people-pleasing and people-using, because we trust the heart of God.
Gentleness gives rest to our souls.
With others, gentleness enables us to honor the image of God in every person we encounter. It leads us to be considerate and reasonable, to seek the well-being of the other person and relate to them with respect, even if they don’t treat us the same way. Gentleness sees the bigger picture — that God loves the people around us as much as he loves us, and he’s weaving redemption into every situation we face.
Gentleness enables us to treat others the way we’d like to be treated.
A gentle heart reflects the heart of God. As we rest in his gentleness toward us, our lives will grow in gentleness as well.
This article originally appeared on Bible Study Tools, 7/22/2025: https://www.biblestudytools.com/slideshows/4-myths-about-gentleness-you-may-be-falling-for.html
Applause erupted as our daughter stood to receive her third award of the evening. She beamed with excitement while walking on stage. I listened to the praise of both her teachers and peers. My heart swelled with joy. Their words confirmed what I already knew—she’s an incredible kid.
At the same time, I ached for her brother, who received no awards that night. He’s an amazing kid, too. He did well in his classes, and his kind, fun-loving personality won him many friends. Still, he took home no awards.
Oh, the depth of conflicting emotions a parent’s heart can hold in the same moment.
On the way home, our son commented, “I wonder why I didn’t get any awards.” I turned in the front passenger seat and looked at him with compassion. I’ve experienced these gut-wrenching feelings before, too. I know what it’s like to anticipate affirmation and come away disappointed. I know how hard it is to celebrate with a friend while trying to mask my own pain.
How can we help our kids deal with rejection? Here are some thoughts on preparing them for both disappointment and success:
Our children have different talents and gifts.
As we sat in the car that night, we reminisced about swim team last summer when our son was the one winning the awards. His sister won some, too. But that night, he excelled.
God created each of our kids with unique abilities and individual talents. Faithfulness in using our gifts is more valuable than receiving the applause of others. God sees our hard work, our diligence, and our perseverance—even when others don’t.
God gives us value and identity.
Our son builds amazing Lego creations. He draws detailed bridges. He memorizes facts and Bible verses easily. But none of these abilities define him. They don’t give him his worth any more than his struggles diminish his worth.
Our kids have intrinsic value simply because God made them in His image. No other creature has received such a gift. The praise or criticism of people can’t change the reality of who they are. The Creator of the universe deeply loves them, wants them, and delights in them. He died to make a way for them to be close to Him.
Jesus understands rejection.
In becoming human, Jesus showed us the heart of God. He spent His days loving, healing, teaching—pouring Himself out for those He created. In the end, they rejected Him. They falsely accused Him, spit on Him, beat Him, and ultimately crucified Him.
He gets rejection.
His heart goes out to our kids when they are overlooked. He invites them to tell him all about their feelings—not just the pretty ones, but the raw, unfiltered emotions, too. He understands. This place of vulnerability can be the very spot where they encounter God. He’s able to comfort them, heal their wounds, and bring beauty out of their pain.
“I’d choose you.”
When I was young, my mom read a book to me entitled I’d Choose You by John Trent. In this story, a mother elephant describes several scenarios in which she would choose her own son over any other child, no matter who performed best.
I long for my kids to possess a deep confidence that even if another person does something better than they do, I would still choose them—simply because they’re mine. They are loved and treasured, just as they are.
Rejoice with those who rejoice.
Our kids enjoy cheering on their friends, whether it’s an awards ceremony or a swim meet. It’s fun to watch the success of those we love.
It can be difficult to rejoice, though, when someone else’s triumph means our loss. Choosing to celebrate our friends’ or siblings’ achievements develops humility and strengthens friendships.
We can help our kids grow in this by praying with them—leading them in telling God about their feelings and asking for his joy. Then, together, we can take a practical step toward celebration— telling their sibling, “I’m proud of you,” writing a “Congratulations” card, or sending a “Way to go” text. Finally, we can affirm them and reinforce the good character they’ve just displayed by expressing how proud we are of them.
Define true success.
I’ll never forget the day a teacher pulled me aside to talk about a recent incident in P.E. One of the boys was struggling with an activity. Our son noticed and took it upon himself to help this boy, staying by his side as they played the game.
Hearing this brought happy tears to my eyes. I rejoiced in our son’s compassion displayed that day.
“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6b). God looks at our kids’ hearts. He values faith and love. He honors integrity and good character. Our kids need to know we do, too.
If we look to good grades or achievement as the measure of success, we’re setting our children up for future problems. Some may be tempted to cheat their way to a good report card. Others may define themselves by their scores—being devastated by poor grades or conceited by good ones.
Our kids need to know that while their grades matter and we’ll celebrate good ones together, report cards exist mainly to show us where there’s room for improvement. A poor grade can indicate the need to devote extra time to a subject or approach it differently. It may point out room for personal growth in diligence, perseverance, or attentiveness. Sometimes, it can even alert us to a possible learning difficulty or disorder.
True success is measured not by an award or the grade on a test but by what’s in the heart.
Rejection affects all of us. Our kids will be overlooked, left out, or even shunned. When this happens, we have the priceless opportunity of pointing them to Jesus and helping them grow stronger and more empathetic through the pain.
Let’s take every opportunity to affirm our children. Let’s instruct them in true success, the beauty of faith, and the value of integrity. The worth of these things will last for eternity.
This article originally appeared on Crosswalk, 03/05/2024:
If you ask ten people to define the gospel, you’ll likely get ten different answers. Over time and through frequency of use, the word gospel has lost much of its meaning. As Christians, we know it has to do with salvation. We accepted the gospel when we came to faith in Jesus, and we’re supposed to share the gospel with others.
Yet how can we share what we don’t clearly understand? What does the Bible really teach about the gospel?
What Is the Gospel?
Many gospel conversations focus on life after death: All have sinned. Sin separates us from God. Jesus died to save us from hell and make heaven possible for those who believe in him.
But what if this is only part of the gospel story?
What if the gospel is more than a ticket to heaven after we die? What if it’s just as relevant to current believers as it is to those who don’t yet know Jesus?
In the New Testament, the Greek word for gospel is euangelion (or euangelizo when used as a verb). It’s basic meaning is “good news.” This word occurs 130 times in the New Testament, always centering on the story of Jesus and what he accomplished through his life, death, and resurrection.
While it’s definitely good news that Jesus’ sacrifice made a way for us to go to heaven, a closer study of Scripture paints a bigger picture than simply a better life someday. The word gospel didn’t originate in the New Testament with the advent of Jesus. When the apostles wrote about this good news, they built upon the entire Biblical narrative:
God created a good world in which humans ruled as his representatives, living in harmony with him, with each other, and with creation (Genesis 1:31).
Humanity rejected God as their King, ushering in the curse of sin and death and all the brokenness we see in our world (Genesis 3, Romans 5:12).
God, in relentless love, promised to send a Deliverer who would rescue humanity, redeem creation, and reestablish his kingdom on earth (Genesis 3:15, Isaiah 9:1-7).
God chose Abraham to be the father of the Israelite people. Through him, God showed us the supreme value of faith (Genesis 12:1-3, Galatians 3:6-7).
God called Israel to be his people, to model what it looks like to live with God as King. Like the first humans, though, they rejected him repeatedly (Leviticus 26:12, 1 Samuel 8:7).
Israel’s prophets spent hundreds of years foretelling the coming of a new King, echoing God’s original promise of a Deliverer. He would come, they said, as a descendant of Abraham. Through him, all the nations of the world would be blessed. The prophet Isaiah describes the mission this Deliverer would fulfill:
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news [i.e. the gospel] to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.
He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory” (Isaiah 61:1-3, NLT).
Building on this backstory, New Testament writers proclaimed the good news that Jesus is the promised Deliverer — the one we’ve been awaiting since God’s very first promise in the Garden of Eden.
The Bible Project explains that in the Old Testament, “The ‘good news’ is connected to the victory of a king, or to the enthronement of a king over his kingdom.” This was precisely how New Testament writers used the term. To them, the gospel was a royal announcement (Matthew 24:14).
Jesus’ arrival initiated the Kingdom of God.
Why Is the Gospel of the Kingdom Good News?
Jesus used Isaiah’s words (above) to describe what he came to do as humanity’s rightful King(Luke 4:16-21). Through his earthly ministry, he revealed what the kingdom of God looks like as he healed sickness, banished demons with a word, and conquered death through his own resurrection.
He showed us that in his kingdom, leaders wash the feet of their followers. Mercy triumphs over judgment and faith counts as righteousness. The first are last and peacemakers are the true children of God. The hungry are filled, the broken healed, and the humble inherit the kingdom.
Jesus entered the domain of darkness to set up his kingdom of light. And where Jesus reigns, the curse is undone.
The gospel of the kingdom is good news because it tells us that earth has a new King, one who invites us to join his kingdom through faith in his life, death, and resurrection.
Who Is This Good News For?
While the gospel is good news for those who don’t yet know Jesus, it’s also good news for those of us who follow him. Far more than a heavenly home someday, the gospel enables us to begin enjoying our inheritance right now. Because of the gospel, we have:
Peace with God
The “gospel of peace” (Ephesians 6:15) reconciles us to the Father. No longer are we at odds with him, separated by our sin. He is for us. He welcomes us to approach him boldly. He relates to us as beloved children.
“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory” (Romans 5:1-2, emphasis added).
A New Identity
The gospel redefines us. We are “no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household” (Ephesians 2:19). Jesus is King and we are his chosen people.
“So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority” (Colossians 2:10).
Ongoing Salvation
While we have been saved from the penalty of sin, and we will someday be saved from the presence of sin (Romans 5:9-11), the Bible tells us we are also being saved from the control of sin in our lives. As we acknowledge Jesus’ kingship and participate with his work in and through us, we are changed from the inside out. The gospel itself is the power source for this ongoing renewal and transformation (Romans 1:16).
“The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God” (1 Corinthians 1:18, emphasis added).
Purpose and Calling
As citizens of Christ’s kingdom, we’ve been entrusted with a vital mission — spreading the gospel of the new King and inviting others to join his kingdom, too. In every profession, in any location, this is the call of God for all his kingdom people. Through his Spirit, he equips us to live out this purpose (Acts 1:8).
“…God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, ‘Come back to God!’ For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:18b-21, NLT).
The Kingdom Is Here Now, but Also Not Yet
If Jesus is reigning now as earth’s rightful King, and if kingdom living looks like freedom for the captives, healing for the blind, and the end of oppression (Isaiah 61), why is the world still so broken?
Theologians use the phrase “already, not yet” to describe the kingdom of God.
Already, Jesus holds the name above all names. He disarmed the spiritual forces of darkness and triumphed over them at the cross. He possesses all authority in heaven and on earth (Philippians 2:5-11, Colossians 2:13-15, Matthew 28:18).
Already, as citizens of Christ’s kingdom, we have peace with God. By grace through faith, our sins are forgiven. We are joined to Christ in such a way that God sees Jesus’ goodness when he looks at us. We have a new life, a new name, and a new identity. His Spirit lives inside us as our Source of abundant life. Through his ongoing presence, we can learn the ways of the kingdom and the heart of the King, becoming like him as he renews his image in us (Romans 5:1; 1 John 2:12; 2 Corinthians 5:17, 21; John 10:10, 14:26; 2 Corinthians 3:18).
Already, the kingdom of God is here on earth. Instead of looking like armies and thrones we can see, though, this kingdom spreads around the globe by taking root in human hearts. Wherever the gospel goes out and people claim Jesus as their King, the kingdom has come. And where the kingdom comes, so does the power of God (Matthew 12:28, Luke 17:20-21).
Sometimes this is visible, as God’s Spirit confirms the gospel message through miracles such as healing, deliverance, and restoration. Other times, though, the renewal is just as invisible as the kingdom itself. This is where the not yet comes into play.
Though Jesus is King and the earth rightly belongs to him, the best is yet to come. For now, we foretaste the realities of the kingdom. Someday, we’ll experience them in full.
Not yet do the powers of darkness bow to Jesus’ authority. An invisible battle still rages in the spiritual realm. People still choose darkness rather than light, selfishness rather than love, brokenness rather than redemption (1 Corinthians 15:24-28, Philippians 2:10-11, John 3:19).
Not yet do we cease to struggle with sin. We’ve been declared righteous by faith, but we’re still learning to live out this reality as the Spirit changes us from the inside out (Romans 6).
Not yet has God wiped away every tear and removed the things which cause pain (Revelation 21:4).
Not yet is the grave finally destroyed. Sickness still ravages and people still die. When our prayers for healing receive God’s no, we’re reminded we await our full inheritance as kingdom citizens (1 Corinthians 15).
Not yet has the New Heaven come to the New Earth with its life-giving river, its healing tree of life, and its riches beyond our wildest imaginations. Not yet does the King dwell with his people so that we see his face and have no need of the sun or artificial light (Revelation 22:1-6).
The gospel tells us that Jesus is King. His kingdom is here now with its transforming power. Someday it will fully and finally come.
Like springtime in Narnia melting the White Witch’s frigid curse, Christ’s Kingdom has arrived to make all things new. As the hymn writer aptly put it,
“Though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the Ruler Yet.
This is my Father’s world: Why should my heart be sad? The Lord is King: let the heavens ring! God reigns; let earth be glad!”
This post originally appeared on Bible Study Tools, May 1, 2024:
How can Christians promote peace in a world filled with conflict? What qualities characterize those who work for harmony and reconciliation?
The theme of peace weaves through Scripture like a golden thread. Jesus left his disciples with the promise of peace (John 14:27). Ephesians describes the good news of our faith as “the gospel of peace” (6:15) and God calls Christians to “live in peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11).
But what is this peace the Bible describes? Is it the absence of hardship or avoidance of conflict? Can everyday Christians experience it, or is it reserved for a few “super saints?”
What Is Biblical Peace?
God’s concept of peace far exceeds pleasant life circumstances. The Engedi Resource Center explains, “We tend to understand it as the absence of war or as calmness of spirit. But along with these ideas, the Hebrew word shalom also carries a greater connotation of well-being, health, safety, prosperity, wholeness, and completeness.”
Like a puzzle with all its pieces in place, shalom means things line up with their intended design. A peacemaker, then, is someone who works to restore what is broken or incomplete — especially in the context of relationships.
Jesus is the ultimate peacemaker. Isaiah prophesied of the coming Messiah as the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) and Ephesians 2:14 tells us Jesus is our peace. His life, death, and resurrection made reconciliation with the Father possible for all who come to him in faith (Romans 5:10). Engedi clarifies, “This is the Hebraic understanding of salvation, not just that we will go to heaven when we die, but that we have an unbroken, loving relationship with God here on earth.”
Biblical peace, then, is rooted in our peace with God — beginning at salvation and growing through our ongoing connection with him. According to Jesus, we can experience this inner rest even in times of trouble and pain. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
7 Qualities of a Peacemaker
1. Secure Identity
Since we have peace with God through Jesus, we can experience a growing peace with ourselves — regardless of our past mistakes, our current struggles, or the opinions of others.
This describes our identity as God’s children — regardless of what our emotions or other people tell us. As his acceptance takes root and we learn to own our God-given identity, we can extend his peace to others. We can live loved instead of needy, at rest instead of striving, secure instead of desperate for others’ approval.
When our hearts are at peace, we’re free to live as peacemakers.
2. Welcoming Attitude
A welcoming heart forms the core of peacemaking. In Romans 14, God tells us how to relate with Christians who practice their faith differently from us — with acceptance. Blue Letter Bible explains that acceptance involves extending friendship and granting access to one’s heart. It’s like leaving the door unlocked so our friends can walk on in. It’s the kind of welcome that’s easy to offer those who are like us, but hard to extend to those who are different.
And yet, because God has accepted us, we’re called to welcome others in the same way (Romans 14:3).
To live as peacemakers, we must understand how God welcomes us, because when we live accepted, we have acceptance to give others. This welcoming heart equips us to promote peace in our relationships. It helps us communicate with curiosity and a desire to understand. It teaches us to cultivate healthy conversations where people feel heard and not shut down — even around subjects where we disagree.
3. Intentional Purpose
In Luke 1:78-79, we read that Jesus guides our feet into the path of peace. To guide, as Blue Letter Bible says, involves removing any hindrances which block the path toward someone. Jesus took away the obstacles which stood between us and God. He paid for our sin and purchased our freedom so we could draw near to the God of peace (Ephesians 3:12).
As his followers, we have the privilege of guiding people to God, too. “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18). When we help people overcome the obstacles blocking their path toward God (both non-Christians and believers), we are living as peacemakers.
4. Humble Heart
Humility shows up repeatedly in Bible passages talking about Christian unity. (See Romans 12:3-18, Ephesians 4:1-3, Philippians 2:1-11 for starters.) Often misunderstood, humility isn’t self-deprecation or self-hatred. On the contrary, humility holds an accurate opinion of oneself. Romans 12:3 instructs, “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”
Jesus used humility to describe himself (Matthew 11:28-30). Philippians 2:6-8 shows what this looked like in his life. He knew his divinity but chose not to “use it to his advantage” (Philippians 2:6-11). Instead of holding himself aloof, he became one of us. He served in both menial and miraculous ways as he brought his peace to earth.
When we, like Jesus, are secure in our God-given identity, we can love, honor, and serve others from a heart of humility. We’re free to work for peace, regardless of the response we may receive.
5. Healthy Boundaries
We can only love well, however, when we maintain healthy personal boundaries. Jesus modeled boundary setting as he lived for his Father’s pleasure alone. He prioritized secluded time in prayer. He didn’t heal every sick person in Israel, and he didn’t allow the crowds to dictate how he conducted his ministry. Through his example, we see that healthy boundary setting is rooted in obedience to God (John 5:19,30; 8:28).
Knowing our limitations, being committed to God’s call on our lives, respecting ourselves as images bearers of God – these essential choices help preserve the peace of our own souls. Only when our hearts are at rest can we live as effective peacemakers.
This takes deep reliance on God’s Spirit to help us discern when to sacrifice and when to say no. As we learn to live for his pleasure, graciously refusing to be controlled by others’ expectations, we’ll have his peace to extend to others.
6. Life-Giving Speech
“The tongue has the power of life and death,” Proverbs 18:21 reminds us. As peacemakers, life-giving speech forms a crucial aspect of our calling. Through our words, we can help others find peace with God and live in harmony with each other.
What does this look like? It’s seen when we’re slow to argue (2 Timothy 2:23-24). It shows up as we prioritize listening and understanding, with an aim toward harmony (Romans 14:19, James 1:19). It leads us to respect and honor one another (Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 3:15). It helps us to pursue justice, to love mercy, and to walk in humility (Micah 6:8). It marks our speech with kindness and truth (Proverbs 3:3, NASB).
All these actions come from the empowering, transforming presence of God’s Spirit within us. As we live connected to the Prince of Peace, he forms his character in our hearts, giving us peacemaking words to share with others.
7. Doing What We Can
Romans 12:18 reminds us that ultimately, making peace is bigger than our personal choices: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Peacemaking always involves more than one party. Just as it takes two or more to disagree, it takes two or more to create harmony. God calls us to do our part — to extend welcome and work for peace, to walk in humility, set healthy boundaries, and speak in life-giving ways.
Sometimes, though, others are unwilling or unable to meet us in a place of peace. In these situations, we can rest, knowing we’ve done what we can. We can pray for harmony, wholeness, and restored relationships, and then entrust our circumstances to the God of peace.
Peacekeeping or Peacemaking?
Keeping the peace and living as peacemakers are two very different lifestyles.
Keeping the peace looks like avoiding conflict, dodging hard conversations, or ignoring broken situations. It sacrifices healing for surface happiness and often leads to shallow friendships and the absence of real connection.
True peacemaking, however, prioritizes God’s kind of peace (Romans 14:17-19). Peace rooted in restoration with God. Peace that promotes wholeness. Peace that mends and leads to flourishing.
As we walk with God, he’ll teach us to discern the difference and show us how to work for his kind of peace.
When Life Isn’t Peaceful
Even though we’ve been reconciled to God, enjoy a new identity, and are equipped to spread his peace, sometimes our own hearts are in turmoil. How do we live as peacemakers when difficult seasons overwhelm us? When circumstances break our hearts? When we or others set in motion events that cause deep brokenness?
The Psalms are full of raw prayers from people wrestling with similar questions. David cried out, “My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” (Psalm 6:3). The sons of Korah wrote, “My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’” (Psalm 42:3).
Right now, we live in the space between the cross and Jesus’ return. He’s building his kingdom in hearts around the globe. He’s restoring and mending and making things new. But life here is still broken. Creation still groans. Humans still wound one another. Sickness and death still invade without warning.
Jesus’ promise of peace beckons us back to the Prince of Peace. He calls us to bring our authentic selves — pouring out the thoughts and emotions, the questions and doubts, the anxiety and agony raging in our souls. This honest place can be holy ground as we can experience Immanuel — God with us — in the middle of our pain (Psalm 116:7, Hebrews 4:16).
Psalm 42 gives a beautiful example of the psalmist processing his inner turmoil in God’s presence. He acknowledges his pain to the Lord (verses 3, 9-10). He asks himself probing questions (verse 5a, 11a). He remembers God — who God has been for him, and the love God has lavished on him (verse 6-8). And as the psalmist pours out his heart, hope once again takes root in his soul (verse 5b, 11b).
As we allow God to care for us in the deepest part of our being, mending our brokenness and forming his character in our lives, we’ll experience growing peace in our souls. This peace in us will overflow through us, equipping us to bring his peace to our everyday spaces.
This article originally appeared on Bible Study Tools, 02/19/2024:
“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing” Zeph 3:17.
Do you think of God as a joyful God?
John Piper said, “No one in the universe has more joy than God. He is infinitely joyful. He has rejoiced from eternity in the panorama of His own perfections reflected perfectly in the deity of His Son.”* I really had to ponder that when I read it in my devotional time a few days ago. God, the most joyful being in the universe? How can this be, when so much ugliness mars His creation? When sin runs rampant and His creatures hurt one another daily? When He is rejected by the very ones He came to save? When even we, His children, sin against Him?
When I think of describing God, joyful doesn’t usually come to mind. Holy, yes. Loving, yes. Powerful, sovereign, wise, yes. But joyful? Not so much.
Scripture is full of descriptions of God’s wrath against sin, verses like Psalm 7:11 – “God is a righteous Judge, and a God who feels indignation every day.” Especially in the Old Testament (and in prophecy still yet future), we see God pouring out judgment on the wicked. His immaculate holiness prevents flawed humanity from even approaching Him on our own, as seen by design of the Jewish tabernacle described in the book of Exodus.
How can this holy God, this God who is angry with sin everyday, be a God of infinite joy? The two pictures seem like diametric opposites.
I think this is hard to understand because I am interpreting what I know of God through my own human “finiteness.” We are all made in the image of God, but He is so much bigger, so much…more than us. Yes, He is emotional. But His emotions are not flawed by sin or limited by humanity as ours are. As a human, it is hard to feel opposite emotions at the same time. When joy and anger, excitement and sorrow, indignation and love fill my heart simultaneously, I find myself in a state of inner turmoil. Processing those emotions and responding to them leaves me conflicted and often uncertain.
But our infinite God, the self-existant One, is not limited by time and humanity as we are. He is fully capable of experiencing those emotions (and the corresponding responses) at the same time. All of our characteristics that bear His image are experienced in complete perfection by the good and holy Creator.
Additionally, it is vital to remember that God relates differently to those who are His children and those who are not.
Does that seem unfair? It is – Jesus chose to be treated unfairly. He totally didn’t deserve to die on a cross. I did. You did.
All of us have broken God’s holy law (Rom 3:23). Justice demanded that our sin be punished, and that punishment is all encompassing death – body, soul and spirit (Rom 6:23). If God were merely holy, He would have annihilated us all, and been fully justified in doing so.
Oh, but He is not merely holy. He is also loving.
He created us to experience a relationship with Him. That was His heart’s desire, and our sin didn’t change that. Our choices cannot change the essence of who He is. So, in love, He came in the form of a man, Jesus, to live a sinless life and die a sinner’s death. He acted as our representative. And now, after conquering death by rising again, He offers complete pardon and restoration to those who come to Him in faith (Rom 5:8, John 1:12, Eph 2:8-9). If you are “in Christ” through faith, your sins are fully forgiven and God sees you as righteous.
So now, the only way that God relates to His children is with mercy and grace. If that’s you, there is no need to ever fear His wrath because it was all poured out on Jesus. You are the apple of His eye, His treasured possession, the one He will rejoice over with singing (Zech 2:8, Ps 135:4, Rom 11, Zeph 3:17). You, child of God, are His heart’s delight, regardless of your “performance.” He loves you with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). God, our joyful God, rejoices over you!
Does this mean He will overlook sin in our lives? No – He is jealous of our relationship with Him, as a husband who passionately loves his wife is jealous of their exclusive relationship (2 Cor 11:2-3). He will discipline sin – those things that come between Him and us. But even that discipline flows from a heart of mercy, compassion and love.
God, our God, is infinitely joyful. And, if you belong to Him, He has invited you to share in His joy (Gal 5:22-23, Rom 15:13).
How does God’s rejoicing over you affect the way you view God? What impact does it have on you in the “moment-by-moment” living? I’d love to hear your comments!
