I puzzled at the early morning text. Why is my friend asking if we’re safe?
A text from my neighbor clued me in. “A pine tree fell and damaged your shed and maybe your house.”
My oldest daughter and I were out of the state for a college preview when I received these messages. I had no idea our family back home was in danger. We’d heard hurricane Helene was coming, but we live hundreds of miles from Florida. Our schools had closed, but we assumed it was just a precautionary measure.
I needed to call my family.
Relief washed over me when I heard my husband’s voice. “We’re safe. We’ve been camped out in the hallway for the past several hours.”
He went on to describe a storm unlike anything we’d ever experienced. The wind was so fierce they could feel it in the house with the doors and windows closed. Rainwater came into the living room because the storm blew it under the windowsills. A tree fell on my husband’s car, but thankfully none landed on our house.
My daughter and I finally made it home after several GPS reroutes, and tears filled my eyes as I drove into our city. Billboards stripped of their ads. The side of a building lying on the ground next to a tangle of broken power lines. Cars crushed and houses cut in half by massive fallen pines.
Never had I witnessed such devastation. Oh, I’d seen pictures and videos of hurricane damage before. But this was my city. These were my neighbors. That was our car.
In the days that followed, I experienced a jumble of emotions. Grief for my friends over what they’d lost. Relief that we hadn’t lost much. Guilt over feeling such relief. Shame for being sad and anxious when others had it worse. Gratitude for the hundreds of different ways our community banded together to show love.
As I processed all these feelings in prayer, I sensed God’s Spirit saying to mine, Look for what is constant and anchor yourself there.
Life’s storms will come, both the physical and the metaphorical ones, but I’m thankful God’s heart never changes. In the wake of our storms, we can anchor ourselves to who he is and lean into his gracious presence.
Why should I keep following God when he isn’t answering my prayers?
The unspoken question haunted me. I wished I didn’t feel this way. I told myself I should just keep trusting. For all my trying, though, the uncertainty continued. And with it, accusations against God’s character chipped away at my faith.
God doesn’t really care about you.
He’ll never answer your prayers.
He probably isn’t trustworthy.
With gentleness and grace, God drew near, reminding me he already knew my thoughts. He invited me to bring them into the open. Voice the feelings. Verbalize the doubts. Lay bare my soul before the One who sees me as I am and loves me.
So, I did.
As I poured out my disillusionment and admitted what my head was saying about his heart, I found myself on holy ground. He met me there in a deeply personal way. Rather than bypassing my pain or scolding my lack of faith, he received my questions. With his still, small voice, he asked me a question in return, the same question he’d asked Peter in John 6:67, “Do you want to walk away?”
As I pondered his question, I found myself answering as Peter did, “Where would I go? You have the words of life” (v 68). I remembered the history we’ve shared — how he delivered me from a food addiction as a teenager, how he healed my broken heart as a young adult. I’d tasted of his goodness. I’d experienced his grace. He was as real to me as the people in my own family.
No, I didn’t want to walk away. Despite the pain in my soul, even though he had yet to answer my prayers, he was still the same God. Still loving. Still powerful. Still for me and worthy of my trust.
I left that encounter a different person, not because my circumstances had changed or because he’d promised me they would. On the contrary, he gave me himself. He let me experience his open-hearted welcome, his understanding, and his soul-mending grace.
When our faith is slipping, God offers to be our firm foundation (Isaiah 33:6). He stands ready with open arms to receive us in our brokenness, eager to welcome us home (Luke 15:20). He’ll never reject those who come to him (John 6:37).
If you find yourself in a similar spot, I invite you to make space to pour out your heart before God.
What pictures come to mind when you hear the word gentle? A soft breeze? A kid-friendly pet? A woman known for her kindness?
While these images capture some of the word’s meaning, the Bible portrays gentleness in a more audacious way than we tend to assume. For Christians called to “put on hearts of gentleness” (Colossians 3:12), it’s important we understand how the Bible uses this word.
To read about the 4 myths of gentleness I used to believe, hop over to Bible Study Tools.
How can you help someone whose faith is in pieces? When a Christian you love questions beliefs you hold dear, is it possible to walk with them through faith deconstruction?
As someone who experienced the collapse of my faith (and its eventual renewal), I’m deeply grateful for believers who want to come alongside and help. The gift of your presence can make Christ’s love tangible.
If you’ve never walked through deconstruction yourself, however, you may struggle to know just how to help. Understanding the terminology is a good place to begin.
To read more on faith deconstruction and how you can help those walking through it, hop over to
As the words of our song reverberated through the Russian cathedral, the memory of those moments etched itself on my soul. Our mission team had come to tour the church. Inspired by the sanctuary’s beauty, we sang God’s praise from the balcony. Never had I heard more beautiful acoustics.
On our way out, a woman who worked in the cathedral spoke to our translator. With tears in her eyes, she explained how she’d prayed for years to hear God praised in another language. Who knew our spontaneous worship would be the answer to a fellow believer’s prayer?
Moments like this feel like ministry. Surrounded by beauty. Inspired by answered prayer. Serving in a country on the other side of the planet.
Parenting, on the other hand, can feel like anything but ministry. Surrounded by messes. Exhausted by relentless needs. Serving in the very real spaces we call home.
It’s easy to think ministry happens out there through people with seminary degrees and a profound sense of calling.
But what if Jesus views parenting as ministry? And if he does, what does the ministry of parenting look like?
Parenting as Ministry
I remember feeling a bit purposeless as a young mom. I changed diapers, read stories, and cooked meals. Then I put the kids to bed and did it all over again the next day—for days, weeks, and months on end. Compared to mission trips, Bible studies led, and worship songs sung, those everyday jobs didn’t feel much like ministry.
Yet, at its core, ministry is service, and that’s exactly what we’re doing in our homes.
Writing about the word’s biblical usage, Bill Mounce explains that ministry “can refer to helps and service of various kinds which can range in meaning from spiritual Biblical teaching (Acts 6:4) to the practical giving of provisions, supplies, support, and finances to those in need (2 Corinthians 9:12).”
What a fitting description of Christian parenting—serving our kids’ spiritual and practical needs.
Here are three ways Jesus views parenting as ministry.
1. Caring for Our Kids’ Needs
When I was preparing to write this article, I asked our teenage daughter, “How do you think Jesus sees parenting as ministry?” She responded with a pun, “I don’t know, but I’m sure God will make it ap-parent to you.” (Groans and eye rolls all around. I love her sense of humor.)
The next day, I asked our teenage son the same question. He reminded me of Matthew 7:9-11 (NLT): “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not!So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
When we care for our kids’ practical needs, we’re modeling the generous heart of our Father. We’re not just providing food or giving them a safe home to live in. We’re showing them there’s a God who cares for us. One who knows our needs and loves to give what is good. One who values his children infinitely more than the birds he keeps his eye upon (Matthew 6:25-32).
Our kids’ physical needs are often the most obvious and easiest to address. Yet, in the ministry of parenting, God calls us to care for our kids holistically. The One who created humans with bodies, minds, and spirits wants to teach us how to minister to their outward and inward needs.
Caring for our kids’ souls is multidimensional. It involves, among other things, teaching them to process emotions in a healthy way, talking with them about good friendships and healthy boundary setting, and compassionately walking with them through whatever struggles they face.
Through practical ministry in our homes, we can help our kids thrive as they discover and grow into the unique individuals God created them to be.
In addition to caring for their physical and emotional health, the ministry of parenting calls us to invest in their spiritual well-being, too. I like to think of this as discipleship.
2. Relating to Our Kids as Disciples
Discipleship describes the relationship between a teacher and a student. It includes more than simply passing on information, however. Through time spent together, the teacher instructs and models what they want their students to emulate—lessons learned, habits formed, and a worldview acquired.
Jesus’ relationship with his twelve closest followers provides a beautiful picture of what discipleship can look like in our homes. For three years, he spent nearly every day with them—eating, traveling, and working together. Along the way and with intentionality, Jesus taught them about the ways of his kingdom and the heart of his Father.
In the Old Testament, God instructed parents to teach their children in a similar way:
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).
In both the Old and New Testaments, we see examples of spiritually investing in those under our care. We can do this in two main ways:
As We Go
For this busy mom, the words of Deuteronomy are a welcome relief. The ministry of parenting involves living out our faith as we go about our daily lives. Most of our family’s spiritually profound conversations are not planned. They come up while we’re driving and discussing concerns about the day ahead. Or at 10 pm when my body wants to sleep but my teen wants to talk. Or when I’m asking forgiveness for speaking with anger instead of love.
These are the moments when real life meets real faith. I’m not studied up or even prayed up, necessarily. But I find myself silently asking the Holy Spirit to fill me with his wisdom, strength, or compassion so I can represent Jesus well in those spontaneous conversations.
On Purpose
God also gave the Israelite people regular, commemorative celebrations to remind them of their relationship with him (Leviticus 23). Woven throughout Scripture is the call to purposely cultivate faith in God (Psalm 11:9, Romans 12:2).
While we may not have annual religious feasts like the Israelites did, we can plan ways to intentionally disciple our kids.
In our family, this has looked different as our kids have grown. When they were little and we were home every day, we read the Bible and prayed together as part of our daily routine. Now that they’re older and we’re away from the house most days, we try to gather and read a devotion a few times a week. A few years ago, when we were in between churches, we set aside Sunday afternoons to talk about the church service we’d just experienced. This led to many beautiful faith conversations.
Ultimately, as I invest in my kids’ spiritual formation, I seek to encourage each of them to embrace their personal walk with God. There’s nothing more beautiful to me than hearing my son or daughter share something they learned from him on their own.
While this is my heart’s desire for each of my kids, it’s also a choice that’s up to them. Our ministry call as parents is simply to make Jesus known and to trust him with our children’s hearts.
3. Modeling Our Own Walk of Faith
An essential part of our calling as Christian parents is to cultivate authentic faith in our own lives. It’s easy to think of this in terms of duty. Like Martha trying desperately to serve Jesus and take care of everyone in her house, we may feel that seeking God is just one more item on our already-full to-do list.
His words to Martha apply to us, too: “…My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42 NLT).
It wasn’t that feeding people and ensuring their comfort in her home didn’t matter. Jesus knew Martha’s heart was to honor him and care well for her guests. But he also knew serving him would never satisfy the restlessness of her soul. It couldn’t produce in her the abundant or the fruit of his Spirit.
Unlike Martha, Mary chose to enjoy him. She was concerned about one thing—receiving from Jesus, not doing for Jesus. Sitting at his feet wasn’t a duty (nor was serving him, as we see her doing elsewhere in Scripture). He was her delight, the source of rest for her soul. So, whether she served him or sat quietly at his feet, her focus was on Christ himself.
In a similar way, Jesus beckons us close. He invites us to return to him repeatedly for peace and rest (Psalm 116:7, Matthew 11:28-30). Through set-aside times and on the go, he calls us to live relationally with his Spirit, getting to know him and receiving from him all we need for this ministry of parenting.
A life of authentic faith can be complicated. What a gift we give our children when we allow them to witness our walk with God through the ups and downs.
– When we talk about what God is teaching us, they learn they can hear from him, too.
– When we share how he welcomes us to bring our questions and doubts, they discover they can be real with God, too.
– When we prioritize soul care, they understand the importance of investing in their spiritual lives, too.
– When our love for God compels us to love others, they observe Christ ministering through the hands and feet of his people.
– When they hear us apologize for the wrongs we’ve done, they learn the importance of living with a clear conscience.
Paul encouraged the people of Corinth: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:11). As parents, we have the privilege of leading our kids toward Christ by example.
The Heart of Ministry
As we care for, disciple, and model faith for our kids, we are living out the ministry of parenting. Underlying all these practices, however, must be a commitment to cultivating our relationship with our kids.
We can read the Bible with our kids every day. We can meet their physical needs and take them to every extracurricular activity they desire. We can bring them to church and send them on mission trips. But if we fail to love them relationally, we’ll undermine everything else we’re trying to do.
Our influence lies in our relationship.
Our kids need to know we care about them and about the things that are important to them. They need us to put down our devices, look them in the eye with a smile, and listen to whatever is on their minds. They need one-on-one time with us and acceptance of their personality, thoughts, and feelings.
As we prioritize our relationship with them, we model the relationship God wants to have with them, as well.
The Perfect Parent
As much as I long to parent well and raise kids with no childhood baggage, like every mom and dad, I fail along the way. God alone is the perfect Parent.
This, of course, is no excuse for mistreatment or neglect. God holds us accountable for those he’s entrusted to our care. But he doesn’t expect perfection—just a growing desire to love well with our words and our actions and a willingness to seek forgiveness when we mess up.
My mentor often reminds me, “Kids don’t need perfect parents. They need a perfect God.”
Our perfect God knows our kids better than we ever will. He offers everything we need to care for and disciple our kids in this ministry of parenting. Through cultivating our relationship with him and our kids, we can point them to the perfect Parent who loves them and invites them to know him, as well.
This article originally appeared on Crosswalk, 03/22/2024:
Applause erupted as our daughter stood to receive her third award of the evening. She beamed with excitement while walking on stage. I listened to the praise of both her teachers and peers. My heart swelled with joy. Their words confirmed what I already knew—she’s an incredible kid.
At the same time, I ached for her brother, who received no awards that night. He’s an amazing kid, too. He did well in his classes, and his kind, fun-loving personality won him many friends. Still, he took home no awards.
Oh, the depth of conflicting emotions a parent’s heart can hold in the same moment.
On the way home, our son commented, “I wonder why I didn’t get any awards.” I turned in the front passenger seat and looked at him with compassion. I’ve experienced these gut-wrenching feelings before, too. I know what it’s like to anticipate affirmation and come away disappointed. I know how hard it is to celebrate with a friend while trying to mask my own pain.
How can we help our kids deal with rejection? Here are some thoughts on preparing them for both disappointment and success:
Our children have different talents and gifts.
As we sat in the car that night, we reminisced about swim team last summer when our son was the one winning the awards. His sister won some, too. But that night, he excelled.
God created each of our kids with unique abilities and individual talents. Faithfulness in using our gifts is more valuable than receiving the applause of others. God sees our hard work, our diligence, and our perseverance—even when others don’t.
God gives us value and identity.
Our son builds amazing Lego creations. He draws detailed bridges. He memorizes facts and Bible verses easily. But none of these abilities define him. They don’t give him his worth any more than his struggles diminish his worth.
Our kids have intrinsic value simply because God made them in His image. No other creature has received such a gift. The praise or criticism of people can’t change the reality of who they are. The Creator of the universe deeply loves them, wants them, and delights in them. He died to make a way for them to be close to Him.
Jesus understands rejection.
In becoming human, Jesus showed us the heart of God. He spent His days loving, healing, teaching—pouring Himself out for those He created. In the end, they rejected Him. They falsely accused Him, spit on Him, beat Him, and ultimately crucified Him.
He gets rejection.
His heart goes out to our kids when they are overlooked. He invites them to tell him all about their feelings—not just the pretty ones, but the raw, unfiltered emotions, too. He understands. This place of vulnerability can be the very spot where they encounter God. He’s able to comfort them, heal their wounds, and bring beauty out of their pain.
“I’d choose you.”
When I was young, my mom read a book to me entitled I’d Choose You by John Trent. In this story, a mother elephant describes several scenarios in which she would choose her own son over any other child, no matter who performed best.
I long for my kids to possess a deep confidence that even if another person does something better than they do, I would still choose them—simply because they’re mine. They are loved and treasured, just as they are.
Rejoice with those who rejoice.
Our kids enjoy cheering on their friends, whether it’s an awards ceremony or a swim meet. It’s fun to watch the success of those we love.
It can be difficult to rejoice, though, when someone else’s triumph means our loss. Choosing to celebrate our friends’ or siblings’ achievements develops humility and strengthens friendships.
We can help our kids grow in this by praying with them—leading them in telling God about their feelings and asking for his joy. Then, together, we can take a practical step toward celebration— telling their sibling, “I’m proud of you,” writing a “Congratulations” card, or sending a “Way to go” text. Finally, we can affirm them and reinforce the good character they’ve just displayed by expressing how proud we are of them.
Define true success.
I’ll never forget the day a teacher pulled me aside to talk about a recent incident in P.E. One of the boys was struggling with an activity. Our son noticed and took it upon himself to help this boy, staying by his side as they played the game.
Hearing this brought happy tears to my eyes. I rejoiced in our son’s compassion displayed that day.
“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6b). God looks at our kids’ hearts. He values faith and love. He honors integrity and good character. Our kids need to know we do, too.
If we look to good grades or achievement as the measure of success, we’re setting our children up for future problems. Some may be tempted to cheat their way to a good report card. Others may define themselves by their scores—being devastated by poor grades or conceited by good ones.
Our kids need to know that while their grades matter and we’ll celebrate good ones together, report cards exist mainly to show us where there’s room for improvement. A poor grade can indicate the need to devote extra time to a subject or approach it differently. It may point out room for personal growth in diligence, perseverance, or attentiveness. Sometimes, it can even alert us to a possible learning difficulty or disorder.
True success is measured not by an award or the grade on a test but by what’s in the heart.
Rejection affects all of us. Our kids will be overlooked, left out, or even shunned. When this happens, we have the priceless opportunity of pointing them to Jesus and helping them grow stronger and more empathetic through the pain.
Let’s take every opportunity to affirm our children. Let’s instruct them in true success, the beauty of faith, and the value of integrity. The worth of these things will last for eternity.
This article originally appeared on Crosswalk, 03/05/2024:
