by MeredithNMills | Jun 24, 2016 | Family, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Identity in Christ, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
“What did you swallow?” the triage attendant asks incredulously.
I brace myself and repeat for the hundredth time. “I swallowed the tab from a soda can.”
“What did you swallow?”
“How’d you do that?”
I know. I already feel stupid. Who does this sort of thing?
I’m not your everyday ER patient. I’m not a child who put something weird in her mouth. I wasn’t drunk or otherwise impaired. I’m just a mom who was watching her kids at swim team practice.
Earlier that morning, when I grabbed a can of La Croix and dashed out the door, I had no idea how the day was about to change. When the darling, adorable child pulled off the tab and dropped it inside, I didn’t know I should throw the can in the garbage right that very moment. It never crossed my mind that one could actually swallow something as big as an aluminum tab – before even realizing what had happened.
Nope, I didn’t know any of that – until today.
Now I’m rather an expert on such things.
Two sets of x-rays, 5+ hours in the ER and an endoscopy… still no tab. It left its mark – I can feel the scratch down my throat. But the tab itself has officially gone into hiding.
Quite a frustrating, unpleasant day. Not one I’d like to repeat. Ever.
But it wasn’t all bad. In fact, as I ponder it in retrospect, I’m struck by one thing – the Body of Christ is truly an amazing gift.
My sweet friend at swim team practice dropped everything and drove me home, then cared for my kids all day. My precious hubby cleared his schedule and sat with me in the emergency room. My family and church family prayed. Lots of people sent offers of help via text message. And the GI doctor, who called me after I left the hospital, asked if he could pray for me over the phone. His prayer brought me to tears. He called on God our Healer and Provider and lifted me before the Lord in Jesus’ name.
We Christians have been born again into a truly incredible community!
We are family!
Church friends, long-time friends, new friends, even total strangers…if we’re Christians, we all have one thing in common. We love Jesus. And because of that, we are family.
Right now, story after story is washing over me as I remember God’s love poured out through His people.
Like when our whole church rejoiced at my oldest child’s baptism.
And when concerned friends brought meals during my sick days of pregnancy.
And when a dear man from church sent my little boy a note to say that he’s praying for him.
And when loved ones cried with us as we grieved a miscarriage.
In joys and sorrows, achievements and losses – we’ve been through it all together. This is how it’s supposed to work. This is the Body functioning as God planned. What a beautiful gift!
I know, it’s not happiness and harmony all the time. We the collective Church are human. We’ve been forgiven and made new, but we don’t always act like it. Sometimes we hurt each other – sometimes even on purpose. Oh, how the devil loves to tear us apart!
But we need each other. We need committed friendships and regular fellowship that we aren’t quick to walk away from. It’s worth working at, working through, and working beyond the issues that separate. It’s worth swallowing our pride and admitting when we’re wrong. It’s worth overlooking offenses, extending forgiveness, accepting differences and learning from each other.
Who do you do life with?
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Eccl 4:9-10, 12).
This gift of community is priceless.
So today, I’m asking myself – how well am I contributing to the Body of Christ? Am I as willing to serve others as they have been to me? Am I pursuing growth and unity out of love for Jesus?
How about you? How are you doing? What community of believers do you do life with and how have you ministered to one another? I’d love to hear!
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I Shouldn’t Feel This Way
by MeredithNMills | Feb 19, 2016 | Uncategorized
Sometimes I hear voices in my head.
Not the audible, easy to recognize kind. No, the voices I hear are often so sneaky, so subtle, that I don’t even realize they’re speaking to me. Maybe you know some of them…
Comparison
Discouragement
Worthlessness
Resignation
Self-sufficiency
Self-righteousness
Drivenness
Fear
Unforgiveness…
A few weeks ago, I caught myself listening to the voice of condemnation…I don’t think that girl likes me. I just don’t fit in. Maybe something is wrong with me. And like minions falling in behind their commander, my emotions quickly followed suit. I began to feel worthless and wretched. A sense of inadequacy enveloped me.
Then suddenly, a still small Voice cut through the noise, silencing all others. “I am pleased. You are Mine. You are walking by faith, and that’s what matters. People’s opinions do not define you.”
It was as if a sigh went through my whole being. Peace replaced restlessness. Acceptance banished condemnation. Confidence supplanted inadequacy.
It makes a difference whose voice you listen to.
Ours is a noisy culture. Always “connected,” we hear voices from a myriad of sources.
Sometimes they scream, from perfect Pinterest parties, to billboards peddling”beauty” for a price. And sometimes they whisper, like merciless memories of past regret. Often conflicting, insanely demanding, these voices can keep us running in circles as we strive to do their bidding.
But in the midst of it all, the Voice of truth invites us to come rest. To find our security and identity in the unchanging Rock that is Christ. To cease striving, and just know Him. To receive His love, His grace, His acceptance. To abide in the Vine and let Him produce His fruit. To fix our eyes on Jesus and tune our hearts to His voice.
He calls us to simple devotion and nearness with God.
Sometimes, I just have to unplug. To turn off the music. To postpone the “to do” list. And just. be. still.
Because there in the stillness, I learn to know His voice and trust His heart.
Whose voice are you listening to today? How do you distinguish between the Voice of God and other voices? What ways have you found to “tune in” to God and “tune out” other voices? Do tell!
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by MeredithNMills | Sep 30, 2015 | Uncategorized
The secret is out. This is the real me.
A few weeks ago, we joined a homeschool co-op. I prepped my kids ahead of time…reminding them to be friendly, to be interested in others, to introduce themselves. You know, basic friend-making stuff. But inwardly, I was a bit anxious myself. I’m not naturally outgoing. Being the first to introduce myself is not exactly in my comfort zone. I, too, was hoping to make connections that would lead to new friendships.
I guess I was hoping to impress people, to make them like me.
You can imagine my embarrassment when, at the end of the first day, I had to search for my misplaced phone. I found it in the office. Assuming someone had turned it in, I asked where it had been found. The sweet lady gave me a puzzled look and told me it had been sitting on the desk all morning. Only then did I remember that I had come to the office first thing that morning in search of name tags. Hmmm….well, she’s not going to think of me as the most organized person in the group.
But really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Anyone can misplace their phone. (I just happen to do it all the time!)
However, when this same person locks her keys in the car the very next week…Well, the secret is out. This is the real me.
I spent nearly the entire final period in the parking lot waiting for a locksmith. The locksmith, of course, showed up in a huge conspicuous tow truck, just as classes were letting out and people were coming to their cars. He was a jolly fellow – asked how my day was going, as if locking oneself out of one’s car adds humor and excitement to the day.
I guess I should have smiled about it, laughed it off. But I was too worried about what people were thinking.
Ah, people pleasing. I know it well.
It can be paralyzing at times. I spend so much time trying to keep everyone happy. I work hard to make people think well of me – even when it means hiding my quirks and imperfections.
It’s an exhausting way to live, and God is teaching me that we were never designed to live this way.
Can I share with you what I’m learning? Because maybe, just maybe, I’m not alone in this people-pleasing craziness.
First, a person’s value lies not in what we do (or don’t do), but in who we are. Our Maker says we are “remarkably and wonderfully made” (Ps 139:14 HCSB). We bear the image of God (Gen 1:26-27). We are infinitely loved and valued – not because of our own merit or loveliness, but because God has set His love upon us (Eph 2:4-5).
Second, we all have emotional needs that God alone can satisfy. The longing for acceptance is a God-given desire. Its purpose is to lead us to Him. When we look to Him in faith, we find that we are relentlessly adored, unconditionally accepted, and even greatly liked – quirks and all. (See Hos 2:14-19, Eph 3:12, Zeph 3:17.) On the other hand, looking to people to meet this need will lead to disappointment and conflict.
Third, another person’s opinion does not define us. This may seem obvious, but I have many times internalized a rejection (real or perceived), as if it were true of me. When our identity is built on who God says we are, we can come back to that reality every time we begin to feel otherwise.
Finally, true friendships are based on transparency and acceptance. If we keep our shortcomings hidden, the relationship will not be genuine. We’ll wear ourselves out trying to keep up the charade.
This is, of course, not a “blanket excuse” for hurtful behavior. We shouldn’t excuse sin or selfishness under the guise of “just being myself.” In living authentically, we should never lose sight of grace.
But oh, the freedom of walking confidently in faith. When those shackles of fear start to fall off – what a glorious new beginning! It’s taking place in my life. How about you? How has God helped you overcome people-pleasing? I’d love to learn from your journey!
“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says, ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength…’” (Is 30:15).
by MeredithNMills | Sep 22, 2015 | Uncategorized
I “played hookie” on Sunday.
Oh, I went to church. I dropped my family off and then sat in the parking lot during Sunday School. I just couldn’t bring myself to go in. My heart was in turmoil. I was upset about how the morning was going. Actually, I was upset about how life is going right now. Sometimes our burdens just grow so heavy.
Sometimes weariness wins.
I didn’t want to put on my happy face and pretend everything was fine. But neither did I want to get real and admit to my brothers and sisters how I was truly doing.
So Jesus and I, we just sat in the car together and I told Him all about it.
I told Him that I don’t understand why I feel so weak. Everyone else seems to have it together. They seem to handle stress and parenting and Christian living and everything else with ease. So I wonder, what’s wrong with me? I mean, it’s not like I’m suffering for Jesus, or facing a life-threatening disease, or something “big.” Why can’t I handle life better?
I’m ever so grateful that Jesus is compassionate and welcoming. That He listens and then gently sheds His light on things.
After spending time with Him, I realized several things. First, someone else’s struggle does not invalidate mine. Yes, Christians are being martyred. Precious young moms are fighting cancer. Families nearby have no idea where their next meal will come from. Yes, their struggle is real and huge and heartbreaking.
But just as Jesus is “there” for them in their need, so He is “here” for me in mine.
Denial is not God’s way of dealing with problems. Rationalizing that “this shouldn’t be a big deal” is not how God works. My struggle, be it “big” or “small” – it’s real and it matters to God.
The fact is, life is hard. It wasn’t meant to be this way. Conflict, disappointment, sickness, heartbreak…those were never part of His original design. And Jesus felt our pain when He walked this earth. He’s not disappointed by our frailty, our emotional ups and downs. On the contrary. He sympathizes with us and longs to draw us near (Heb 4:15).
The invitation to come boldly to His throne of grace is open to all. He doesn’t say, “Take a look around and compare your struggle with others to see if yours is big enough to bother Me with.” Nope. He just says, “Come confidently to Me in your time of need. I’ve got grace and mercy just waiting to be lavished on you” (Heb 4:16).
A second truth He reminded me of is this. God’s grace comes out in dazzling splendor against the backdrop of our weakness. He shines most brightly through a life that is completely in need of Him. (See 2 Cor 12.)
“Why am I not stronger? Why can’t I handle this?” – those questions reveal my own self confidence and self sufficiency. Boil it all down, and I’m disappointed because I thought better of myself than this.
Maybe that’s part of why God allows life to get unmanageable. So that our confidence will be in Him and not in ourselves. So that we will glory in Christ and boast in His power.
Our weaknesses and struggles, our feelings and thoughts – they matter to God. He wants to take us, frailties and all, and breathe life into our weary souls. He is really good at taking jagged, broken pieces and making a mosaic masterpiece.
Our God is not looking for strong people, but for those whose hearts are set on Him.
How has God put His power on display in your life?
“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him…” (2 Chron 16:9a). See also Ps 91:14.
