by MeredithNMills | Jul 22, 2016 | Family, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
A frantic scream broke the afternoon stillness. I immediately tried to diagnose the sound – my littlest was either angry or hurt. Following the direction of the crying, I found her in her daddy’s arms. He was carrying her toward the bathroom where he would wash and dress the cut she’d received when her foot was under the door she tried to close.
She was crying hysterically, writhing against the strong arms that held her.
She was in pain.
She was mad.
She was afraid.
She didn’t want to be carried by the “doctor.” She didn’t want him to clean it. And she certainly didn’t want a Band-Aid. (Unlike most kids, she seems to think Band-Aids contribute to her pain.)
But despite her efforts to resist, her daddy did what was best for her. He cleaned and doctored the little cut, all the while assuring her of his love.
After she calmed down, we had a heart-to-heart talk. I asked her the following questions –
“Do you trust your daddy? Does Daddy take good care of you? Does he love you? Protect you? Want the best for you?” She answered yes to each question, slowly realizing that her daddy’s actions had come from his love for her.
As we talked, I was struck by how very much this child is like her mother. I often respond to my heavenly Daddy in similar ways.
I get angry when life hurts, as if the pains of this human existence are His fault.
I sometimes pull away when He draws me close for comfort.
I doubt His intentions – His love and His goodness.
I’m afraid of His efforts to cleanse, heal and protect.
I want to leave the pain alone, instead of submitting to His cleaning, healing hands.
As a mother, I saw my baby girl’s situation so clearly – her daddy loves her and would do what was best for her, not matter how she fought him. And yet it could have been a moment of tender comfort and affection, if she had trusted her daddy’s heart.
As a follower of Jesus, I want to trust His heart.
It’s a matter of faith.
“…I took them up in My arms. But they did not realize I was the one who took care of them. I led them with kindness and love. I was to them like a person who lifts a little child to their cheek. I bent down and fed them” (Hosea 11:3-4).
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing” (Zeph 3:17).
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28).
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jer 29:11).
The One who takes care with kindness and love.
He is a good, good Father. His intentions toward us are kind (see Eph 1). He heals and gives restoration. He brings beauty out of ashes. He creates mosaic masterpieces out of broken, shattered lives.
All He does is good.
I want to trust Him. I choose to trust Him. Will you?
How do you remind your heart of truth when doubts flood your soul? Do you have a favorite Bible verse that comforts and reassures you in times of pain? Please join the conversation! I’d love to hear!
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I Quit!
by MeredithNMills | Jun 17, 2016 | Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Waiting, Walking by Faith
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
I sit in a hospital room, surrounded by beeping and whirring machines. Otherwise, it’s silent.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
A beloved family member sleeps fitfully in the bed in front of me. The surgery went well. Anesthesia effective. Thank God for good doctors. Now begins the rocky road to recovery.
As I stare at her, something deep within me revolts against what I see. In this room, all over this hospital, are people who bear God’s image – each with a story to tell. They have hopes, plans and dreams. They are loved, and they love in return. They want to be healthy, happy, free. They want to be anywhere but here.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Sickness. Pain. Aging. Loss. Broken bodies. Broken hearts. Broken lives. It’s all so…wrong
We were made for more than this..
My mind wanders back to a Garden, the first and only perfect Garden. Teaming with life, bursting with beauty, this Garden showcased the handiwork of the Master Creator. He spoke everything into existence and pronounced it good – everything, that is, until He was ready for His magnum opus. For this, He would use extra special care. He would craft man and woman as the pinnacle of His creation. Now, He says, everything is very good.
Teaming with life and bursting with beauty
Beauty. Fruitfulness. Each day an extension of yesterday’s friendship with God. No knowledge of pain. No conflict between man and wife, humankind and God. Trust and peace. Wholeness and well-being. Unhampered joy. Unhindered life.
This, this is what we were made for. This was God’s design.
Not what I see in this hospital room.
Not what we see all around us today.
Not life as we know it in this sin-ravaged world.
When mistrust of God and self-exaltation came on the scene, everything changed. Absolutely everything. (See Gen 3.)
Creation itself groans under its “bondage to decay” (Rom 8:21). Thorns and thistles. Death and desolation. Predators and Prey. Famine, drought, natural disasters. And we, the masterpieces of His Creation, we cannot escape this broken existence either. No matter our position or status or story, we all know the pain of living here.
But it will not always be so.
Because a Deliverer came to our rescue.
The Creator became as the created.
The One who holds our universe together stepped into our brokenness and lived among us.
He knew our pain. He faced our battles. He bore our shame.
He chose the cross and took our sin – the very cause of all this heartbreak in the first place.
The Holy One waged war on sin and death. And He won.
The victory has been decided. Jesus is the Champion. And soon, we will know the full reality of all He accomplished that day at Calvary.
Someday God will restore His creation. He will deliver us from this fallen world. He will usher in a new heaven and a new earth where we, His own, will be with Him forever. In our new home, there will be no more death or pain or sickness or tears. He will make everything new.
And so, as I sit here in this hospital room, I take comfort. As I read the news and feel the heartbreak of each new tragedy, I find hope. This fleeting existence is not all there is. Someday, everything will be made right.
Our Deliver is coming. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
How do you comfort your heart in times of suffering and pain? I’d love to hear!
(If you want to know more about a relationship with this Deliverer, please check out In Case You’re Wondering.)
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A Dose of Encouragement
by MeredithNMills | Jun 10, 2016 | knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills @DazzledByTheSon
At Your feet again I fall, my Lord,
Confessing the same old sin.
Once again I’ve failed. I’ve fallen down.
How unfaithful I’ve been!
How could You keep on loving me?
How could Your mercy go that deep?
Your faithfulness, O God,
Is more than I ever dared to dream.
It’s deeper than all the deepest seas,
Greater than anything I’ve seen.
I stand in awe of You
For who You are and what You do
For all of the things You’ve brought me through.
You have been faithful, Lord.
That song, I wrote it 15 years ago, yet it’s as true of me today as it was back then. I still run back to the same sins. I still forget what God has done and falter in faithless unbelief. I still panic when pressures mount and doubt when the impossible stares me in the face.
It seems I’m in good company, though.
Jesus’ own disciples were pretty forgetful, too. Shortly after watching their Master feed 5000+ hungry people with just five loaves and two fish (Mark 6), they had a déjà vu experience – lots of hungry people (4000 this time), only one lunch, and 12 clueless disciples trying to figure out how to feed everyone (Mark 8).
Now, as the reader, I’m a little irritated with Jesus’ friends at this point. I mean, come on. Jesus just multiplied bread and fish a few days ago. Are you so quick to forget? Aren’t you thrilled about your impossible situation? It’s the perfect set-up for a miracle!
But no, you’re questioning how to feed all those people. Looking to your own resources again. Telling Jesus how impossible things are.
I’m irritated, until God gets personal.
I’ve seen God provide when we had no idea where the money would come from. I’ve watched Him heal broken relationships when I was at odds with a friend. I’ve received wisdom when I was clueless and direction when I was lost. I’ve experienced His deliverance from depression and spiritual attack.
I’ve got history with God!
But I still forget. So compassion replaces irritation as I continue reading the story.
Jesus patiently repeats the process – asking the disciples what they’re going to do about all these needy people, telling them to take inventory, receiving what they bring, blessing it and putting it back into their hands. And once again, they do the impossible because their God hasn’t changed. He’s still a Miracle Worker. He’s still their Provider.
You have been faithful, Lord!
He’s still faithful. Always faithful.
Even when they doubt, He’s faithful.
Even when they question, He’s faithful.
Even when they come up with their own solutions, He’s faithful.
Even when they forget, He’s faithful.
Thank God, He’s faithful!
God is big on remembering. Over and over in Scripture, He reminds His people of what He’s done for them. He tells them to remind one another and to tell their children. Because He doesn’t change.
When we remember what He’s done in the past, we can face the future with confidence.
His faithfulness doesn’t depend on us – it’s His nature. Thank God, He’s faithful (and patient)! Thank God He reminds me when I forget!
Here are some practical ways I’ve found to remind myself of my history with God.
- Blessing box. A wooden box sits on my Grandmom’s hutch in the dining room. It’s small and unassuming, but it contains our family’s greatest treasures…notes we’ve written on 3×5 cards of things we’re thankful for and of answers to prayer. There are a whole lot of cards in there because God has been unreasonably good to us.
- Journal. I love recording my conversations with God. Sometimes I come to Him with a jumbled mess of confused thoughts and emotions. But as I pour out my heart through pen to page, God often brings clarity. He speaks back, too, and works me through whatever situation I’m facing at the time. It’s precious to read back over those journals and remember what God has done.
How have you seen God’s faithfulness in your life? What ways have you found to remember your history with Him? I’d love to hear!
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I Shouldn’t Feel This Way
by MeredithNMills | Jun 3, 2016 | Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills @DazzledByTheSon
I can’t.
When I’m not enough – strong enough, experienced enough, grown-up enough…
The job is too big. I feel too small.
The pain is too deep. The broken pieces too many.
I’m not strong enough. Smart enough. Experienced enough…
Have emotions like these every hijacked your heart? It happens to me all. the. time.
Like when the pot’s boiling over, the child’s calling from the bathroom, the phone’s ringing and my hands are in soapy water.
Or when the day looms daunting ahead, and I just want to pull the covers up and go back to sleep.
Or when I go to a writers’ conference and start comparing myself to real writers.
Or when a loved one’s heart is breaking and I want to fix it, heal it, make all the hurt go away.
Life is complicated and messy and rarely turns out how I plan
Life is complicated and messy and it rarely turns out how I plan. Sometimes I feel inadequate for this life God has given me.
That’s why I find the story of Jesus feeding the 5000 so very encouraging (Mark 6:34-44).
Jesus and His disciples needed to get away. Their days were so full of need-meeting that they hadn’t even had time to eat. It was definitely time for a break. But when they arrived at their planned retreat, a large crowd of needy people were waiting.
Jesus’ compassionate heart shifted gears. He spent the day loving on those who came to Him. But by the end of the day, His disciples were done. They came to Him with their plan – “Send the people away so they can eat.”
Jesus’ response astounds me. “You give them something to eat.”
Ummm….come again? We must have misheard Him. Did He say for us to feed them? Doesn’t He know that we can’t feed all these people? Is He that out of touch with “reality”?
I find myself wondering, why would Jesus tell His followers to do something impossible?
But did He? Was their assignment really impossible?
Actually, He told them exactly what He was about to do – with their hands. They would give those people something to eat.
It seemed impossible, though, because they instinctively looked to their own resources. If they relied on what they had, they would be stuck with just that. Jesus’ plan, however, was bigger than the disciples and their resources.
He told them to take inventory and come talk to Him about it. They brought a mere five loaves and two measly fish to Jesus and watched as He blessed what they gave Him. Then He put into their hands what they needed to feed every one of those people.
But not all at once. He gave them a little and they gave it away. When they used it all up, Jesus gave them more. And they did it again. And again. And again, until every person was fed.
And that is how we do the impossible, too.
Broken and small, but enough in His hands.
We offer ourselves to Jesus – all our strengths and weaknesses, experiences and memories, joys and sorrows…all we have and all we are. He takes what we give Him, broken or small as it may be. Then He uses our hands, our hearts, to feed the hungry souls around us and to live out His call on our lives.
He gives us wisdom for decisions we must make.
He provides strength to do more than we’re capable of on our own.
He forms endurance in us through the struggles we face.
He tunes our hearts to His so He can love the world through us.
He does this over and over again, as we keep coming back to Him for more – more intimacy, more grace, more strength, ultimately, more of Him.
For God Himself is both our Source and our Supply. He has already given us everything we need for godly living. (Check out 2 Cor 3:5 and 2 Pet 1:3.)
What about you? How have you seen Him multiply your “loaves and fish” so you can live beyond yourself? Please join in the conversation – I’d love to learn from your journey!
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Redefining Success, Part One
Redefining Success, Part Two
by MeredithNMills | May 7, 2016 | Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
I never understood, until I looked into their eyes.
Waiting to be loved
There are always children waiting to be adopted. But we don’t need to adopt, because we have our own kids.
Seriously, that’s how I used to think. I’m ashamed to admit that, but it’s true.
My mindset changed, however, when I went to Bangkok and looked into the eyes of needy children, abused children, vulnerable children. And I realized, adoption isn’t about the wants or needs of a parent. It’s about welcoming a child into your heart and home and lavishing love on them. Through adoption a child gets a new life, a new identity, a new family. They gain an advocate – someone to look after and provide for them. They receive a relationship with the parent who has chosen to love and accept them.
I find great joy in knowing that God has done this for me.
“God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure” Eph 1:5.
He didn’t need me, as if the Self-sufficient One could be in need. But He wanted me. He longed to pour out His love on this needy soul, to take me “under His wing” and provide for me, to bestow on me a new name and a heavenly inheritance.
He chose me and I became His treasured daughter.
On the day of my adoption, everything changed. All my sins, which I wore like filthy rags, were taken away. He gave me a new heart. I was washed clean and clothed with the righteousness of Jesus. He made me fit to be His child and granted me direct access to His heart. He made me part of His worldwide family and He Himself came to dwell in me through His Holy Spirit.
I am safe now. Safe in the care of the Father who loves me. And so are you, fellow Jesus-follower!
I’m adopted!
What facet of your adoption into His family is most precious to you and why? Please join the conversation– I’d love to hear from you!
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Don’t take my word for it! Check out these verses: 2 Cor 5:21, 6:18; Gal 4:5-6; Eph 1:4-5; Heb 10:17-22
by MeredithNMills | Apr 15, 2016 | knowing God, Uncategorized, Waiting, Walking by Faith
It’s a crazy journey, this thing called life.
When Dreams Lie Dormant
As a kid, I always knew what I’d be when I grew up. My earliest memories include listening to recording artist, Sandi Patty. I loved her voice. I knew her songs. I joined her kids’ club. She was living my dream. Someday, I would be the next Sandi Patty. I took voice lessons, piano lessons, guitar lessons. I studied French (though only for a year), so I’d be prepared for a college music major.
But then life changed. The path that had seemed so certain all my life suddenly turned a different direction. I sensed God leading me away from my dream, as I heard Him whisper to my soul, “That dream is all about you, about making a name for yourself.” He gently reminded me that this walk of faith is about making His name known, and not my own. He asked me to give Him my dream, like a sacrifice on the altar of love.
More than anything, I wanted to walk with Jesus. But just where He was leading, I couldn’t quite tell.
Little did I know how characteristic of “real life” that change of events would be. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
That has proved true over and over again in my life. Sometimes it’s really painful. Dreams don’t die easily. But you know what I’ve learned?
- Through it all, God is good.
That sounds cliché, and overly simplistic. But really, that’s the beauty of it. Life can be so complicated, so confusing, so disappointing, so painful. But in the midst of everything, God simply remains the same. Steadfast. Immovable. Good.
- I can trust Him with my dreams.
While God didn’t made me the next Sandi Patty, He did lead me to Life Action Ministries, where I traveled as a singer for three years. I even got to participate in a few CD projects. And best of all, I met my hubby there. We haven’t lived happily ever after, but we’ve learned what love is – a deep companionship that weathers the storms together, an abiding friendship that echoes the heart of God. No, life hasn’t turned out the way I planned, but it has been better.
- When God takes something away, He gives back more of Himself.
God’s Plans for Good
Sometimes the things we hold onto are substitutes for God Himself, and they are poor replacements for the real thing. Ultimately, they leave us empty and unfulfilled, because God alone satisfies the human soul.
What about you, dear friend? What dreams lie dormant in your heart? How have you found Him to be trustworthy? What has He revealed to you about Himself? Please join in the conversation – I’d love to hear your story!
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Redefining Success, Part 2
