My son taps who-knows-what on the floor, enjoying the sounds he creates. He loves noisemaking. I cherish his inquisitive personality, that quality which causes him to make the noises (and the messes).
But these things drive a parent crazy. “Son, stop banging. It’s just creating chaos,” my husband instructs.
Immediately, our preschooler bursts into song. “Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!”
At this point, what do you do except roll your eyes and laugh at the insanity of the situation?
Such craziness typifies our current life season. Noise and chaos, messes and piles, unfinished projects galore. But in the midst of it all, three kids are loving life and exploring the world around them.
Quite honestly, I waffle back and forth between being okay with all this – with embracing exploration while training them to pick up after themselves – and losing my temper or having a panic attack when I can’t find a tidy spot for a few minutes’ reprieve.
I’m thankful God understands.
He stepped from the beauty of heaven into the chaos and disorder of life on our planet. He lived and breathed among us, sometimes meeting people when they came to Him, other times going out of His way to set up a divine encounter.
He came to do His Father’s work, which included more than teaching and preaching. Jesus brought the gospel into everyday life:
He changed His agenda when the multitudes met Him on shore as He was traveling to a secluded getaway spot.
He stopped mid-stride to single out a woman in need of healing, though it required postponing another miracle.
He got up from His nap to calm a raging sea.
We, too, are called to do God’s work. We’ve been chosen to introduce our children to Jesus. Sometimes this means creating intentional times of getting to know God together. Other times it means we embrace moldable moments as they arise.
This calling leads us to get down on the floor and read to them, look at their Lego creations or help them find doodle ideas on Pinterest. We let them help in the kitchen or join our no-longer-quiet devotional times with God. We listen to what’s important to them – even though we were there and saw all the same details of the situation. We put down our devices, look them in the eyes and show our delight in them.
No one does this perfectly, and God doesn’t expect us to. Our kids don’t need perfect parents. They need intentional parents who point them toward a perfect God.
Jesus entered our world to reach us right where we are. We can do that for our kids, too. We can love in the midst of the mess, because people matter more than perfection. We can repurpose ordinary events to teach our kids spiritual truth, because eternity exists all around us. And we can find peace in the midst of it all, because the God of peace lives in our hearts and offers grace for every situation we face.
Here are a few practical tips for calming life’s chaos:
Create a calm spot
Life feels more doable when we keep at least one room tidy. In our house, the living room is that space. It provides a retreat for moments when I’m overwhelmed or uptight. (Not that it stays that way. We do live in it, so it gets messy, too. But everyone in the family knows messes shouldn’t be left there.)
Run back to Jesus
Sometimes I give myself a “time out.” When the craziness starts making me crazy, a few minutes with Jesus helps me refocus on what’s most important. I tell Him how I’m feeling and listen as He speaks truth over me – reminding me that He understands, that His power is available right now, and that He’s at work in the chaos.
Life gets crazy but thankfully, our God still calms stormy seas and restless hearts.
Lean in close, I have a secret to tell…“I am a recovering control freak.”
Seriously.
Life is good when things go according to plan, when nothing too crazy happens, and when people behave themselves. But if things start to veer too far off course, I get anxious.
God has grown me a lot in this area over the last few years, though. I’m learning to raise the white flag, to trust Him and listen to His voice when things seem out of control.
I had an opportunity to practice this recently – with my own sweet child in my very own home.
Read the rest of this story at Just18Summers, where I’m sharing today about parenting and when to raise the white flag of surrender.
It’s one of the greatest joys and most profound responsibilities of parenting. We have the privilege of cultivating relationships with the children God has given to us.
Read the rest of this article at In The Quiver, where I’m guest posting today – sharing a conversation-sparking tradition that spans three generations. Please stop by for a visit and join the conversation!
For several months, I’ve been very intentional about writing regularly, trying to post here on a weekly basis. But last week, I chose not to write. At all.
God told me not to.
I had lots of work to do – A book proposal waiting to be revised, a book in process, a weekly blog post, a monthly contribution to Just18Summers and another article to complete by the end of the month.
Clearly, I didn’t have time to take the week off.
But God showed me that writing had become an idol.
An Idol.
It’s a rather church-y word, one that’s lost much of its meaning to modern American Christians. We read about idols throughout the Bible, but they can seem like distant relics of the past or an unfamiliar element of cultures somewhere else in the world.
Maybe we need to rethink the word.
Maybe addiction is more relevant to our modern minds.
Unlike statues of gold, addictions can be much harder to recognize, but they’re just as insidious.
Some addictions are big and ugly and obvious. But most of them aren’t. Most start as good gifts, designed by God for our enjoyment and use.
But they become addictions when we find our identity in them.
When we panic at the thought of losing them – even temporarily.
When we can’t stop thinking about them.
When we look for comfort, peace or healing in them.
When they drive and control us.
That’s what happened with my writing. I had taken it up as a hobby several years ago. It was a refreshing way to process my thoughts and emotions and a means of sharing with others what God is doing in my life.
But I’ve grown to love the feeling of completing a piece and meeting a deadline. I get excited when I hear how God ministered to someone through my words. I enjoy reading comments and feedback.
Those good things, however, took root in my heart and seeped into my identity. They began driving and controlling me like a task-master.
What started as a good gift became an addiction, an idol.
When God showed me this, I asked Him what to do about it. Not all idols can, or even should, be completely discarded. I’ve wrestled with a food addiction for much of my life, but I certainly can’t quit eating.
As I prayed, Jesus reminded me of this verse: “…Take every thought captive to obey Christ”2 Corinthians 10:4-5
Just as my thoughts need to obey Jesus, the gifts I’ve received need to be under His control as well.
My writing needs to obey Jesus – the time I spend on it, the projects I undertake, the very words I say.
My eating habits should obey Jesus – what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat.
My parenting ought to obey Jesus – how I speak to my kids, the way I train and discipline them, the activities we chose to do as a family.
My role as a wife needs to obey Jesus – how I talk to and about my husband, how I respond to him, the priority I give our relationship.
My people-pleasing personality should obey Jesus, so that His pleasure is my heart’s desire and satisfaction.
My use of time needs to obey Jesus.
Absolutely every area of my life needs to obey Jesus.
Because this is what following Him is all about – my whole self living in full surrender to the God who invites me to find rest in Him. Rest from the idols that drive me, rest from the law that condemns me, rest in Christ’s work and rest in the nearness of God.
While idols and addictions consume those who cling to them, Jesus offers the abundant life for which our souls were created. (See John 10:10.)
How about you? Are there any idols lurking in the shadows of your soul? Any addictions strangling your abundant life?
God loves us too much to let us continue worshiping at the feet of things that will destroy us. Will you bring your idols to Him and let Him show you how to bring them under His control?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please respond below.
Like millions of other people, we traveled into the totality zone of the Great American Eclipse. We spent the afternoon camped out in the heat, hanging with some of our dearest friends, eating Moon Pies and Sun Chips and Cosmic Brownies.
A sense of anticipation hung in the air as the sun and moon aligned.
From behind our super-cool (ahem, functional) glasses, we watched the sun grow smaller bit by tiny bit until only a sliver remained visible.
And then it happened. The event everyone’s been talking about – the moment of total eclipse.
It nearly took my breath away.
Light radiated in all directions from the enormous dark spot in the sky. For nearly two minutes, heaven and earth seemed to stand still.
We saw what is normally imperceptible to the human eye – the sun’s corona. On normal occasions, the corona goes unseen because its light is so much dimmer than that of the sun’s surface.
But yesterday during the eclipse, we saw the radiant crown of the sun.
Life is a lot like that. Sometimes it takes an eclipse – a deep, dark shadow, to see the dazzling glory of the heavenly Son and to know Him in previously unexperienced ways.
It’s easy to enjoy God when life is bright and happy. Brilliant beyond words and more dazzling than our sun, the light of Jesus fills every corner of our earth. Unsurpassed in beauty, unrivaled in strength – this is our God. He rejoices the hearts of His children and fills our lives with good things.
But sometimes sorrow eclipses our God. Life can get so dark we seem to lose sight of Him. We may even forget what He looks like or wonder if He’s been a figment of our imaginations.
But there in the darkness, in the quiet place of our pain, God waits to reveal His heart to us. He invites us to experience His tenderness and find depths of comfort of which we’ve only ever heard tale.
Like the sun’s corona during an eclipse, God can be seen in breathtaking beauty during our darkest hour.
Has life eclipsed your God? Have you lost sight of His goodness and love for you? Have faith, fellow Jesus lover. Just as the sun is unchanged though hidden by the moon, our God is unchanging and constant.He delights in you. His love is steadfast and His tender mercies are new every morning.
How have you experienced Jesus’ beauty during dark times? I’d love to hear – please comment below!
“Please don’t let me mess up. Help me not to make a mistake.”
I stood in front of our church congregation, filling in as a member of the worship team. I would be leading out on the next song. My stomach was in knots as I thought through all that could possibly go wrong, things that have gone wrong in the past.
I could forget the words. My voice could crack. I could miss that high note.
Listening to the song’s intro (my heart obviously not worshiping), I realized something quite convicting – I’m quick to admit I’m not perfect. I talk about transparency and the importance of being real, of extending grace in our weaknesses and laughing at our embarrassing moments.
But I don’t like people to see me make mistakes. I want to control which imperfections they observe.
It’s one thing to talk about our mistakes and embarrassments, even our sins, in the past tense. It’s another matter to mess up when people are watching.
For most of my life, I’ve aimed at perfection. It seems a worthy pursuit. Jesus Himself said, “You are to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).
When the Bible uses this word perfect, however, it has the connotation of completeness and maturity.
This term “can be used in a relative or absolute sense…God’s perfection is absolute; man’s is relative reaching the goal set for Him by God with each individual different according to one’s God-given ability.” – Lexical Aids to the New Testament, Key Word Study Bible
God is perfect. He’s sinless and holy. He needs and lacks nothing.
We, His children, on the other hand, are in the process of becoming perfect and mature. We’ve been declared righteous and our sins have been washed away. Yet the Holy Spirit is about the lifelong work of forming Christ in us – and He’s not in a hurry.
True perfection, like all of Christianity, revolves around Jesus, not our own efforts to keep a good image or avoid mistakes. Jesus is our example, as well as our Source of transformation. He uses even our weaknesses to mature us and make us like Christ. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.)
So today, instead of focusing on myself and the image I want to maintain, I choose to rejoice in the work God is doing in my heart, my life and my home.
How about you? How is Jesus perfecting you these days?
Lean in close, I have a secret to tell…“I am a recovering control freak.”
Like millions of other people, we traveled into the totality zone of the Great American Eclipse. We spent the afternoon camped out in the heat, hanging with some of our dearest friends, eating Moon Pies and Sun Chips and Cosmic Brownies.
It nearly took my breath away.
Has life eclipsed your God? Have you lost sight of His goodness and love for you? Have faith, fellow Jesus lover. Just as the sun is unchanged though hidden by the moon, our God is unchanging and constant. He delights in you. His love is steadfast and His tender mercies are new every morning.
I stood in front of our church congregation, filling in as a member of the worship team. I would be leading out on the next song. My stomach was in knots as I thought through all that could possibly go wrong, things that have gone wrong in the past.
We, His children, on the other hand, are in the process of becoming perfect and mature. We’ve been declared righteous and our sins have been washed away. Yet the Holy Spirit is about the lifelong work of forming Christ in us – and He’s not in a hurry.
How about you? How is Jesus perfecting you these days?