by MeredithNMills | Oct 31, 2017 | fear, grace, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, Uncategorized
By Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Why, God? Why?
Has that question ever haunted you? Does your faith flounder when life deals a low blow, like our punching bag shuddering before my kids’ Kung Fu fists?
Mine does sometimes, especially when logic goes unsatisfied and cliché answers just won’t do. It’s been one of those seasons for me lately as we’ve grieved with several friends over the loss of beloved family members.
If you, too, wonder why, I invite you into the wrestling match within my soul.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asking God lately:
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If You are sovereign, as Your Word says You are, why do You sometimes allow horrible things to happen? I get the whole “free will” thing – some people chose to hurt others. And if I’m honest, I hurt others at times, too.
But why accidents? If You are good, as I’ve tasted and seen You are, why don’t You stop them before they occur?
I can’t make sense of this. And my heart is afraid to trust You with my future.
——————————————————————
Oh, the comfort of bringing my restless heart to Jesus and listening as He speaks through His Spirit and His Word. 
God led me to the story of Jesus at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11). Remember that time when He could have stopped His friend from dying, but He didn’t? He didn’t get there in time – on purpose.
I’ve never before noticed the connection between verses five and six. “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days.”
What?
Because He loved them, He stayed away long enough to let Lazarus die.
That seems utterly illogical. Lazarus’ sisters thought so, too. They both essentially accused Jesus of not loving them because He let their brother die through His tardiness. Divine love often baffles human reason.
Yet Jesus didn’t get angry with their questions or rebuke their boldness. On the contrary, He did something quite the opposite.
Jesus wept (John 11:35).
He knew the miracle He was about to perform – He would command death to release it’s grip on His friend. Within minutes, He would restore Lazarus to life and give him back into his sisters’ arms.
Yet His heart was so deeply moved by His loved ones’ suffering that He, too, wept with them. He felt their pain, and He feels ours, too.
He could have prevented Lazarus’ death, but He saw a bigger picture. Instead, He drew near to the sisters and wept with them.
This is Emmanuel, God with us. Near to the brokenhearted. A very present help in our need (Psalm 34:18, 46:1). The God of comfort restores shattered lives, trades beauty for ashes and replaces heaviness with praise.
He knows the end of our story, too – that for believers in Jesus, death is not the end. One day our suffering will be over. Like Lazarus and his sisters, we will be reunited with those gone before us into heaven.
But Jesus’ knowledge of the future doesn’t prevent Him from feeling our pain in the present or pouring out His comfort in abundant measure. 
After weeping with Mary and Martha, He proved that He Himself is the resurrection and the life. Death has no hold on Him. And one day, it will have no hold on us either.
Until that day, there will be many unanswered questions. Many times we won’t understand or feel the love of God. We’ll have many opportunities to wrestle with Him and choose faith when nothing makes sense, because we’ve found that Jesus alone holds life, hope, healing and peace.
He will set all things right someday.
In the meantime, He is so close, and His nearness is our good.
How has God walked you through wrestling matches of the soul? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below.
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by MeredithNMills | Oct 24, 2017 | abiding in Christ, Family, grace, growing in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
By Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Yesterday was not a good day.
Everyone in the Mills house woke up tired from a busy weekend. And busy weekends make for long Mondays.
The kids and I took a field trip which involved a lovely nature walk in the autumn-colored woods. An impending thunderstorm held off and the temperature was perfect.
The humidity, however, was intense. I wore rain boots instead of hiking boots so by the halfway point, I was exhausted. That halfway point happened to be at the bottom of a hill and the hike back seemed much longer than the hike in.
After a morning of learning about wildlife and preservation efforts, we headed home where a messy house greeted us and screamed of work that needed to be done. My afternoon to-do list didn’t include all the kiddo needs that arose, and I failed to handle those “interruptions” with grace.
It was not a good day.
As I look back on it, however, I see much for which to be thankful, so many things to slow down and savor, even in the chaos of the day.
Surely I could have done better.
But I didn’t. I didn’t live the day well.
Maybe it’s because I neglected to keep coming back to Jesus. I forgot that on my own I can’t do better. I can’t chose patience, grace or gratitude without staying connected to Christ, without yielding my heart and expectations to Him in each moment.
“And He will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge. The fear of the Lord is his treasure” Isaiah 33:6.
Underneath the shifting sands of emotional ups and downs, God is the bedrock for our souls. He offers the stability of His unchanging heart and faithfulness of character.
He’s the steady Source of everything I need in every moment – salvation from the sins that tempt me, wisdom when I don’t know how to parent, knowledge of His heart when I lose sight of His face – all these things in abundant measure.
In big struggles and little frustrations, God understands. He offers wisdom and grace for each one – and new mercies with every rising sun.
Stability in unstable times – this is God our treasure.
How has God been your stability this week? In what ways do you need Him to be your unchanging Rock today? Please comment below – I’d love to hear.
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by MeredithNMills | Sep 5, 2017 | Family, grace, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Sometimes you’ve got to give yourself a time out.
For several months, I’ve been very intentional about writing regularly, trying to post here on a weekly basis. But last week, I chose not to write. At all.
God told me not to.
I had lots of work to do – A book proposal waiting to be revised, a book in process, a weekly blog post, a monthly contribution to Just18Summers and another article to complete by the end of the month.
Clearly, I didn’t have time to take the week off.
But God showed me that writing had become an idol.
An Idol.
It’s a rather church-y word, one that’s lost much of its meaning to modern American Christians. We read about idols throughout the Bible, but they can seem like distant relics of the past or an unfamiliar element of cultures somewhere else in the world.
Maybe we need to rethink the word.
Maybe addiction is more relevant to our modern minds.
Unlike statues of gold, addictions can be much harder to recognize, but they’re just as insidious.
Some addictions are big and ugly and obvious. But most of them aren’t. Most start as good gifts, designed by God for our enjoyment and use.
But they become addictions when we find our identity in them.
When we panic at the thought of losing them – even temporarily.
When we can’t stop thinking about them.
When we look for comfort, peace or healing in them.
When they drive and control us.
That’s what happened with my writing. I had taken it up as a hobby several years ago. It was a refreshing way to process my thoughts and emotions and a means of sharing with others what God is doing in my life.
But I’ve grown to love the feeling of completing a piece and meeting a deadline. I get excited when I hear how God ministered to someone through my words. I enjoy reading comments and feedback.
Those good things, however, took root in my heart and seeped into my identity. They began driving and controlling me like a task-master.
What started as a good gift became an addiction, an idol.
When God showed me this, I asked Him what to do about it. Not all idols can, or even should, be completely discarded. I’ve wrestled with a food addiction for much of my life, but I certainly can’t quit eating.
As I prayed, Jesus reminded me of this verse: “…Take every thought captive to obey Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
Just as my thoughts need to obey Jesus, the gifts I’ve received need to be under His control as well.
My writing needs to obey Jesus – the time I spend on it, the projects I undertake, the very words I say.
My eating habits should obey Jesus – what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat.
My parenting ought to obey Jesus – how I speak to my kids, the way I train and discipline them, the activities we chose to do as a family.
My role as a wife needs to obey Jesus – how I talk to and about my husband, how I respond to him, the priority I give our relationship.
My people-pleasing personality should obey Jesus, so that His pleasure is my heart’s desire and satisfaction.
My use of time needs to obey Jesus.
Absolutely every area of my life needs to obey Jesus.
Because this is what following Him is all about – my whole self living in full surrender to the God who invites me to find rest in Him. Rest from the idols that drive me, rest from the law that condemns me, rest in Christ’s work and rest in the nearness of God.
While idols and addictions consume those who cling to them, Jesus offers the abundant life for which our souls were created. (See John 10:10.)
How about you? Are there any idols lurking in the shadows of your soul? Any addictions strangling your abundant life?
God loves us too much to let us continue worshiping at the feet of things that will destroy us. Will you bring your idols to Him and let Him show you how to bring them under His control? 
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please respond below.
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by MeredithNMills | Aug 22, 2017 | grace, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Identity in Christ, Loneliness, Uncategorized, Waiting, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills
@dazzledbytheson
We saw it, and it was dazzling.
Like millions of other people, we traveled into the totality zone of the Great American Eclipse. We spent the afternoon camped out in the heat, hanging with some of our dearest friends, eating Moon Pies and Sun Chips and Cosmic Brownies.
A sense of anticipation hung in the air as the sun and moon aligned.
From behind our super-cool (ahem, functional) glasses, we watched the sun grow smaller bit by tiny bit until only a sliver remained visible.
And then it happened. The event everyone’s been talking about – the moment of total eclipse.
It nearly took my breath away.
Light radiated in all directions from the enormous dark spot in the sky. For nearly two minutes, heaven and earth seemed to stand still.
We saw what is normally imperceptible to the human eye – the sun’s corona. On normal occasions, the corona goes unseen because its light is so much dimmer than that of the sun’s surface.
But yesterday during the eclipse, we saw the radiant crown of the sun.
Life is a lot like that. Sometimes it takes an eclipse – a deep, dark shadow, to see the dazzling glory of the heavenly Son and to know Him in previously unexperienced ways.
It’s easy to enjoy God when life is bright and happy. Brilliant beyond words and more dazzling than our sun, the light of Jesus fills every corner of our earth. Unsurpassed in beauty, unrivaled in strength – this is our God. He rejoices the hearts of His children and fills our lives with good things.
But sometimes sorrow eclipses our God. Life can get so dark we seem to lose sight of Him. We may even forget what He looks like or wonder if He’s been a figment of our imaginations.
But there in the darkness, in the quiet place of our pain, God waits to reveal His heart to us. He invites us to experience His tenderness and find depths of comfort of which we’ve only ever heard tale.
Like the sun’s corona during an eclipse, God can be seen in breathtaking beauty during our darkest hour.
Has life eclipsed your God? Have you lost sight of His goodness and love for you? Have faith, fellow Jesus lover. Just as the sun is unchanged though hidden by the moon, our God is unchanging and constant. He delights in you. His love is steadfast and His tender mercies are new every morning.
How have you experienced Jesus’ beauty during dark times? I’d love to hear – please comment below!
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 18, 2017 | grace, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, knowing God, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Last week, my hubby was out of town for a business convention, which left me home alone with the kids. We had a good time together, trying to stay busy and not miss Daddy too much (hard to do!) Two days in a row, we drove out of town to meet friends at the zoo. 
That was exhausting, but super fun.
One night, while the kids were tucked safely in their beds, a car drove by our house and cast creepy shadows on my bedroom window. In my mind, I knew the shadows were caused by the tree outside. But fear began to invade my heart. “What if’s” flooded my mind as this mama bear thought through how I’d defend my babies in case of danger.
It’s crazy how that happens. There was a logical explanation. Nothing really to be afraid of. But sometimes our emotions are stronger than our minds.
Thankfully, however, the Holy Spirit is stronger than both.
As I lay there in the dark, I prayed that God would shield and protect us. I envisioned a large superhero shield covering our home and angels standing around our property.
Then I went to sleep. We all awoke the next morning, safe and sound.
Psalm 28:7 says, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I will praise Him.”
I love this description of God. He doesn’t just give us a shield. He is our Shield.
He stands between His child and the onslaught of the enemy. He absorbs and extinguishes the fiery dart blows.
This, however, leads to an obvious question. Does this mean bad things should never happen to His children?
We need only look around to see this isn’t the case. Christians suffer like the rest of the world. Probably even more, if you ask imprisoned believers and those tortured for their faith.
Is there a contradiction between faith and “real life”? Is God really our Shield when awful things happen?
Since God doesn’t change (James 1:17), we can trust that He never stops being our Shield, though His protection may look different at various times.
- Sometimes He shields us from physical harm
Like those times when I’ve narrowly avoided a wreck.
Or when we’ve prayed for healing and He grants our request.
Or that time when I was a young adult living at home and my family happened upon a crime scene. Somehow our car ended up inside the police blockade, a would-be burglar laying shot on the ground a few feet away. That frustrating delay twenty minutes earlier may have kept our family out of the line of fire.
- Always He shields us from the enemy’s fury
Satan hates Jesus. He also hates those who follow Him. Quite honestly, we’re no match for the devil. Yet the devil is no match for our God.
God stands between us and the enemy’s wrath, never abandoning us to fend for ourselves. Never leaving the devil to do anything he wants with us. (See Job 1-2, 42 for the interaction between God, Satan and a man named Job.)
- Always He shields us from God’s righteous indignation
Our God is pure. He hates and punishes sin. But Jesus, the Sinless One, stands between His children and God’s anger. On the cross, He bore every ounce of the judgment we’d incurred through our sin. Through faith in Christ, “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
In every circumstance, God is our Shield – protecting us from things seen and unseen. Sometimes He prevents tragedy. Sometimes He walks though it with us.
What do you think? How do you reconcile the apparent contradiction between God as our Shield and the trials that we face? How have you seen God act as your Shield? Please comment below. Let’s get to know Him better together!
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