On Questions without Answers

On Questions without Answers

By Meredith Mills

@DazzledByTheSon

Why, God? Why?

Has that question ever haunted you? Does your faith flounder when life deals a low blow, like our punching bag shuddering before my kids’ Kung Fu fists?

question-mark-2641097_1280Mine does sometimes, especially when logic goes unsatisfied and cliché answers just won’t do. It’s been one of those seasons for me lately as we’ve grieved with several friends over the loss of beloved family members.

If you, too, wonder why, I invite you into the wrestling match within my soul.

Here are some of the questions I’ve been asking God lately:

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If You are sovereign, as Your Word says You are, why do You sometimes allow horrible things to happen? I get the whole “free will” thing –  some people chose to hurt others. And if I’m honest, I hurt others at times, too.

But why accidents? If You are good, as I’ve tasted and seen You are, why don’t You stop them before they occur?

I can’t make sense of this. And my heart is afraid to trust You with my future.

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Oh, the comfort of bringing my restless heart to Jesus and listening as He speaks through His Spirit and His Word. bench-1868070_1280

God led me to the story of Jesus at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11). Remember that time when He could have stopped His friend from dying, but He didn’t? He didn’t get there in time – on purpose.

I’ve never before noticed the connection between verses five and six. “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days.”

What?

Because He loved them, He stayed away long enough to let Lazarus die.

That seems utterly illogical. Lazarus’ sisters thought so, too. They both essentially accused Jesus of not loving them because He let their brother die through His tardiness. Divine love often baffles human reason.

Yet Jesus didn’t get angry with their questions or rebuke their boldness. On the contrary, He did something quite the opposite.

Jesus wept (John 11:35).

He knew the miracle He was about to perform – He would command death to release it’s grip on His friend. Within minutes, He would restore Lazarus to life and give him back into his sisters’ arms.

Yet His heart was so deeply moved by His loved ones’ suffering that He, too, wept with them. He felt their pain, and He feels ours, too.

He could have prevented Lazarus’ death, but He saw a bigger picture. Instead, He drew near to the sisters and wept with them.

This is Emmanuel, God with us. Near to the brokenhearted. A very present help in our need (Psalm 34:18, 46:1). The God of comfort restores shattered lives, trades beauty for ashes and replaces heaviness with praise.

He knows the end of our story, too – that for believers in Jesus, death is not the end. One day our suffering will be over. Like Lazarus and his sisters, we will be reunited with those gone before us into heaven.

But Jesus’ knowledge of the future doesn’t prevent Him from feeling our pain in the present or pouring out His comfort in abundant measure. Hefeelsourpain

After weeping with Mary and Martha, He proved that He Himself is the resurrection and the life. Death has no hold on Him. And one day, it will have no hold on us either.

Until that day, there will be many unanswered questions. Many times we won’t understand or feel the love of God. We’ll have many opportunities to wrestle with Him and choose faith when nothing makes sense, because we’ve found that Jesus alone holds life, hope, healing and peace.

nearnessofGodHe will set all things right someday.

In the meantime, He is so close, and His nearness is our good.

How has God walked you through wrestling matches of the soul? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below.

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When Life Eclipses God

When Life Eclipses God

by Meredith Mills

@dazzledbytheson

We saw it, and it was dazzling.

cake-2201852_1280Like millions of other people, we traveled into the totality zone of the Great American Eclipse. We spent the afternoon camped out in the heat, hanging with some of our dearest friends, eating Moon Pies and Sun Chips and Cosmic Brownies.

A sense of anticipation hung in the air as the sun and moon aligned.

From behind our super-cool (ahem, functional) glasses, we watched the sun grow smaller bit by tiny bit until only a sliver remained visible.

And then it happened. The event everyone’s been talking about – the moment of total eclipse.

IMG_1804It nearly took my breath away.

Light radiated in all directions from the enormous dark spot in the sky. For nearly two minutes, heaven and earth seemed to stand still.

We saw what is normally imperceptible to the human eye – the sun’s corona. On normal occasions, the corona goes unseen because its light is so much dimmer than that of the sun’s surface.

But yesterday during the eclipse, we saw the radiant crown of the sun.

Life is a lot like that. Sometimes it takes an eclipse – a deep, dark shadow, to see the dazzling glory of the heavenly Son and to know Him in previously unexperienced ways.

It’s easy to enjoy God when life is bright and happy. Brilliant beyond words and more dazzling than our sun, the light of Jesus fills every corner of our earth. Unsurpassed in beauty, unrivaled in strength – this is our God. He rejoices the hearts of His children and fills our lives with good things.

But sometimes sorrow eclipses our God. Life can get so dark we seem to lose sight of Him. We may even forget what He looks like or wonder if He’s been a figment of our imaginations.

But there in the darkness, in the quiet place of our pain, God waits to reveal His heart to us. He invites us to experience His tenderness and find depths of comfort of which we’ve only ever heard tale.

Like the sun’s corona during an eclipse, God can be seen in breathtaking beauty during our darkest hour.

darkesthoureclipseHas life eclipsed your God? Have you lost sight of His goodness and love for you? Have faith, fellow Jesus lover. Just as the sun is unchanged though hidden by the moon, our God is unchanging and constant. He delights in you. His love is steadfast and His tender mercies are new every morning.

How have you experienced Jesus’ beauty during dark times? I’d love to hear – please comment below!

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In Search of Treasure

In Search of Treasure

by Meredith Mills

@DazzledByTheSon

Don’t you love a good treasure hunt?

My tween daughter wanted a detective party for her birthday last year, so my husband planned the treasure hunt to end all birthday party treasure hunts. It was incredible.

mystery-1773200_1280The clues were crazy hard, but the girls embraced the challenge and finally deciphered them all by working together.

One final clue led to the birthday cake, which Hubby also made. (If I’d been in charge of the cake, we’d have picked one up from Costco.) The treasure, a bag of chocolate coins, was hidden inside the cake. (He’d baked a hollow spot into the cake and hidden the coins inside before frosting it.)

The girls had a blast searching for hidden treasure.

I’ve been on my own treasure hunt for the last few years.

During a particularly dark season of life (Confessions of a Good Girl), I realized many of my beliefs about God were flawed. Though I loved Him deeply, my life was driven by duty and ruled by fear. I desperately needed the rest to which Jesus invites us (Matthew 11:28-30).

Using a journal and my Bible (ok, actually I use my Bible app), I began recording everything God reveals about Himself in the passages I read during my daily Bible time. I’ve been doing this for about three years now, making notes about His actions and reactions, His promises and the names by which He describes Himself.

What I’ve learned has thrilled my soul and deepened my love for Him. Jesus is unlike any treasure earth can offer.

Here’s a verse I read recently:

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe” (Proverbs 18:10).

A person’s names reveal various attributes of that person.

For example, when I say that my name is Meredith, you learn very little about me. But if I tell you that I’m also called Wife and Mom, Daughter and Sister, writer, reader, singer and traveler, coffee-drinker and chocolate-lover…you know a bit more about me.

So it is with our God.

Many people call their objects of worship god. What sets our God apart? His names help us answer that question.

He is the Most High, the Creator, the Lover of our soul, the Good Shepherd, the Father of the fatherless and Husband to the widow…

His various names minister to us in different ways as we walk through life. By faith, we can cling to God’s specific names and find security.

This looks different from one day to the next and from one season to another. Here are some examples of what it looks like in my life:

  • My husband is self-employed. Traditionally, summer is the slowest time of the year for us. One summer, work was scarce and money was tight. But bills were still due, so I ran to our Provider with a very specific request. The next day, He came through, miraculously meeting our needs.
  • Several years ago, I experienced a miscarriage. As I walked through that painful time, I relied on God to be my Healer. He brought both physical and emotional restoration.
  • Today, as I write, I’m asking my all-wise Creator for wisdom and creativity.
  • In a few days, we’ll begin another year of homeschooling. I’ll seek the Teacher to instruct me on how best to teach my kids.

Whatever you’re facing today, whatever you’ll face tomorrow and next year, God’s name is a strong tower, a hiding place of refuge and protection from the storms that assail. strong tower

Which name of God is your strong tower today? Please comment below – I’d love to hear! Let’s get to know Him better together!

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Things are Changing Around Here

Things are Changing Around Here

america-219896_1280Things are changing around here.

It’s a highlight of every year for me, the writing conference I attended a few weeks ago. I love the drive into the Blue Ridge Mountains. I love the conference center’s picturesque setting. I love connecting with old friends and making new ones. I love learning tools of the trade that help me grow as a writer. Most of all, I love retreating from the noise of daily life and tuning my heart to the still, small voice of God.

This year was particularly good.

After three years of blogging here and a few years contributing to various ministries around the web (Just18Summers, ChristianDevotions, BrokenButPriceless), I’ve decided to write a book. I met with several industry professionals at the conference and pitched my idea. Two agents and a publishing house invited me to send them more information, something they called a proposal.

That sounded like no big deal. Something I could put together in a few days and send off within the week. (Yes, all my seasoned writer friends – I have much to learn!)

Then I looked at a sample proposal from one of those agents.

Turns out, it’s a pretty big deal.

Like 20+ pages talking about the book yet in progress, with lots of research needed ahead of time. I was a bit overwhelmed, but got right to work.

One of the main areas I needed to research was my target audience – those for whom I am writing. As my book is a devotional for mothers, the main readers are moms of babies to preteens, as well as others who spend significant time with kids in that age range – specifically teachers and grandparents.

I posted a survey to Facebook, with 20 getting-to-know-you questions. (If you missed it, you can still take the survey here.) I was thrilled to receive a large response, giving tremendous insight into the hearts and lives of over 80 moms, teachers and grandparents.

Guess what I learned?

We who love little ones have a whole lot in common.

While many described themselves as happy, they also said they’re overwhelmed, anxious, discouraged and exhausted. I totally get that. Nearly every word chosen to “describe your emotions within the last six months” could be used of me, too.

For many of us, though, our weariness goes beyond the physical.

Sometimes I feel my soul is tired.

Maybe it’s our busy schedule. Maybe it’s our constant connectedness on social media. Maybe it’s a lack of true rest during “down time.” Whatever the cause, whatever the life season, it seems we all experience it.

As I’ve pondered this common problem, Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30 once again stand out. “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Can I be honest here? I used to doubt Jesus’ words in that passage. They seemed almost to mock me. My Christian life was anything but restful. And Jesus’ burden light? That wasn’t my experience.

Ironically, when I hit a proverbial wall and my good girl life crumbled, that’s when I found rest. (For the full story, check out Confessions of a Good Girl.) In my broken, burned-out state Jesus pulled me close and showed me His dazzlingly beautiful, gentle and humble heart.

I found rest in the nearness of God. In better understanding His heart of grace. In seeing myself through His eyes and finding acceptance through Christ.

cambodia-445_1280

Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me

He taught me that all of life is to be lived from that place of soul rest.

Like two oxen sharing the same yoke, Christianity’s essence is connectedness to Christ. We are participators, but the good works are His. He initiates what He wants done. He empowers us to do it. He produces His fruit in and through us.

What a relief to find it’s not up to me!

Yes, life is exhausting. There are people to serve, families to love, schedules to keep. Our hearts get battered and bruised and sometimes we feel like giving up. Cultivating endurance is no easy task.

But in all our toil, God offers us rest through ever-deepening closeness with Him.

This has become a new theme in my life.

The look here at Dazzled By The Son now spotlights that life change. I’m also going to try a new format for my regular blog posts. Since Jesus is the Source of rest, let’s get to know Him better – together. Let’s take single attributes of God, mull them over, ask questions and share thoughts gleaned from our own study of His Word.

Will you join me?

Comment below if there’s a particular quality of God you’d like to discuss, or if you want to explore how God’s character affects a specific problem or situation. I can’t wait to go deeper with Him – and you!

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This Changes Everything

This Changes Everything

“Look! The virgin will conceive and bear a Son, and they will call Him Emmanuel, which means ‘God with us’” (Matt 1:23) NET.

God.with.us.

Those three words astound me.

For thousands of years, God had been worshiped from afar. His holiness stood in stark contrast to mankind’s sin. A thick veil separated His earthly presence in the temple from those who approached Him.

Until Emmanuel.

His arrival changed everything.

The Eternal One stepped into time and wrapped Himself with humanity. The Creator became one of us. The King who controls armies, who sets up and tears down nations, that King made His first appearance in an unceremonious stable.

And such would be His life – a homeless Miracle Worker, a traveling Teacher, a King rejected by His own people.

He came not impress us, but to save us. Not to condemn us, but to restore friendship with God.*

He came to do what we could not do – to keep the Law of God, and die as if He hadn’t. To taste death for us, then render it powerless so we could be set free.

He came to tear the veil that separated a holy God from His people, and to make us holy, too.

This is Emmanuel – a God so in love with His people that He would walk among us, know our pains, experience our emotions, and die in our stead.

And He beckons us, even today as we celebrate His birth, to draw near to Him as well.

As we give and receive gifts this Christmas day, may we remember the greatest Gift of all time. And may we offer ourselves back as a gift to Him.

Merry Christmas!

emmanuel

This changes everything

* If you’re curious about how to begin a relationship with this Jesus, please check out In Case You’re Wondering.

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