When Depression Moves In

When Depression Moves In

What happened to my joy?

The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.

How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.

How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?

Numbness presided over my heart. Things that used to bring joy now seemed empty and hollow. Routine tasks overwhelmed me with paralyzing force. I didn’t want to go out, didn’t want to do fun activities with my kids and especially didn’t want to talk about how I was really feeling.

Depression carries such a stigma. If I admitted my daily struggle, I feared people would see me as weak or unspiritual. They might lecture or give unhelpful help. They might judge me.

Oh, what a prison depression can be. It’s like walking through a deep, dark valley with insurmountable cliffs towering high above, blocking out any ray of light or hope for escape.

I’ve spent time there and come out the other side. May I share with you what I learned?

  • Get real with God. 

Jesus calls Himself “the God of hope” and invites us to pour out our hearts to Him.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13 ESV

“Trust in Him at all times, O people. Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8 ESV

His heart is kind and full of compassion, not condemnation. He can handle our pain and is not disappointed when we struggle. He is still a miracle worker and healer of hearts.

  • Let others in. 

It’s hard to own this struggle, but admitting our need and asking for help is a huge step in the healing process. Maybe it’s a trusted friend or a prayer group that can lift us up before God. Maybe it’s a doctor who can evaluate things from a medical perspective.

  • Do something for yourself. 

This may sound selfish, but sometimes it’s the healthiest, most unselfish thing we can do. We can’t pour into the lives of others if our own tank is on empty. Find something that gives you rest, even enjoyment, and make room for that in your life.

  • Progress, not perfection. 

The day may seem daunting, the job overwhelming. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress and rejoice in each step.

Our God is patient as He forms Christ in us. He is not in a hurry, nor is He disappointed that we’re not further down the road to recovery. Becoming like Jesus is a life-long process that God is committed to completing.

“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6 ESV

Depression is a cruel companion, but it does not define us. We are not helpless victims, but treasured children of an all-powerful God. He is always close at hand and has made us more than conquerors through His unconditional love.

Slowing Down

Slowing Down

Saturday is our family’s favorite day of the week.

From Sunday through Friday, we’re busy with school, work, church, sports, music, playdates, and the general busyness which accompanies family life.

But on Saturday, we take a breath.

waffles-2190961_1280 We eat waffles for breakfast and the kids listen to radio adventures on a local Christian station. Most Saturdays, very little gets done until at least lunchtime. Sometimes the whole day is “unproductive” (as far as my to-do list is concerned).

But in reality, a lot happens on Saturday.

Not easily measured, the benefits of the day are experienced on the soul level. Our kids travel to faraway lands on imaginary explorations. My husband and I have time to just talk. I catch up on snuggles with my littlest and she often joins me in spending time with God.

On occasion, life redirects our Saturday routine. A swim meet or birthday party may call us away from home. Some Saturdays are as full as the rest of the week. But in general, we protect the day like any other appointment on our calendar.

Because Saturdays keep us going and refill us for the week ahead.

In our busy culture where productivity is king, our bodies and souls cry out for rest. We aren’t designed to toil endlessly day after day. Rest is a gift from God, often stolen from us by the tyranny of the urgent. Yet our Creator invites us to be still and breathe and savor the things which feed our souls and enrich our lives.

Here are some thoughts on making room for rest:

  • Put it on the calendar

Routines vary from family to family and from one life season to another. An entire day may be impossible to block off in your week. Brainstorm as a family some ways you can carve out times of refreshment and togetherness. Whatever you decide upon, make sure to schedule it on your family calendar.

  • Be creative

I have a friend whose family does pizza and a movie at home every Friday night. At the end of a long week, it’s a great way to unwind and enjoy being together.

If your family likes to play games, you could declare one night of the week or month as “family game night.”

Reading aloud is also a great way to relax together. Our current favorite is The Green Ember series.

Look for family outing opportunities. We recently loaded everyone in the minivan and drove for an hour without telling the kids where we were going. Anticipation mounted as we neared the zoo for an after-hours members’ night. We had a blast watching animals that aren’t normally active during the day as we savored unhurried moments together.

Too quickly these days are becoming memories. Let’s make time for rest as we enjoy the people entrusted to us by the Giver of all good things.

Knock Knock

Ministry That Doesn’t Look Like Ministry

Raising the White Flag

When Life Eclipses God

When Life Eclipses God

by Meredith Mills

@dazzledbytheson

We saw it, and it was dazzling.

cake-2201852_1280Like millions of other people, we traveled into the totality zone of the Great American Eclipse. We spent the afternoon camped out in the heat, hanging with some of our dearest friends, eating Moon Pies and Sun Chips and Cosmic Brownies.

A sense of anticipation hung in the air as the sun and moon aligned.

From behind our super-cool (ahem, functional) glasses, we watched the sun grow smaller bit by tiny bit until only a sliver remained visible.

And then it happened. The event everyone’s been talking about – the moment of total eclipse.

IMG_1804It nearly took my breath away.

Light radiated in all directions from the enormous dark spot in the sky. For nearly two minutes, heaven and earth seemed to stand still.

We saw what is normally imperceptible to the human eye – the sun’s corona. On normal occasions, the corona goes unseen because its light is so much dimmer than that of the sun’s surface.

But yesterday during the eclipse, we saw the radiant crown of the sun.

Life is a lot like that. Sometimes it takes an eclipse – a deep, dark shadow, to see the dazzling glory of the heavenly Son and to know Him in previously unexperienced ways.

It’s easy to enjoy God when life is bright and happy. Brilliant beyond words and more dazzling than our sun, the light of Jesus fills every corner of our earth. Unsurpassed in beauty, unrivaled in strength – this is our God. He rejoices the hearts of His children and fills our lives with good things.

But sometimes sorrow eclipses our God. Life can get so dark we seem to lose sight of Him. We may even forget what He looks like or wonder if He’s been a figment of our imaginations.

But there in the darkness, in the quiet place of our pain, God waits to reveal His heart to us. He invites us to experience His tenderness and find depths of comfort of which we’ve only ever heard tale.

Like the sun’s corona during an eclipse, God can be seen in breathtaking beauty during our darkest hour.

darkesthoureclipseHas life eclipsed your God? Have you lost sight of His goodness and love for you? Have faith, fellow Jesus lover. Just as the sun is unchanged though hidden by the moon, our God is unchanging and constant. He delights in you. His love is steadfast and His tender mercies are new every morning.

How have you experienced Jesus’ beauty during dark times? I’d love to hear – please comment below!

Related Posts:

What I Learned from the Kid who Fell Out of the Car

When Life Blindsides You

 

 

 

Things are Changing Around Here

Things are Changing Around Here

america-219896_1280Things are changing around here.

It’s a highlight of every year for me, the writing conference I attended a few weeks ago. I love the drive into the Blue Ridge Mountains. I love the conference center’s picturesque setting. I love connecting with old friends and making new ones. I love learning tools of the trade that help me grow as a writer. Most of all, I love retreating from the noise of daily life and tuning my heart to the still, small voice of God.

This year was particularly good.

After three years of blogging here and a few years contributing to various ministries around the web (Just18Summers, ChristianDevotions, BrokenButPriceless), I’ve decided to write a book. I met with several industry professionals at the conference and pitched my idea. Two agents and a publishing house invited me to send them more information, something they called a proposal.

That sounded like no big deal. Something I could put together in a few days and send off within the week. (Yes, all my seasoned writer friends – I have much to learn!)

Then I looked at a sample proposal from one of those agents.

Turns out, it’s a pretty big deal.

Like 20+ pages talking about the book yet in progress, with lots of research needed ahead of time. I was a bit overwhelmed, but got right to work.

One of the main areas I needed to research was my target audience – those for whom I am writing. As my book is a devotional for mothers, the main readers are moms of babies to preteens, as well as others who spend significant time with kids in that age range – specifically teachers and grandparents.

I posted a survey to Facebook, with 20 getting-to-know-you questions. (If you missed it, you can still take the survey here.) I was thrilled to receive a large response, giving tremendous insight into the hearts and lives of over 80 moms, teachers and grandparents.

Guess what I learned?

We who love little ones have a whole lot in common.

While many described themselves as happy, they also said they’re overwhelmed, anxious, discouraged and exhausted. I totally get that. Nearly every word chosen to “describe your emotions within the last six months” could be used of me, too.

For many of us, though, our weariness goes beyond the physical.

Sometimes I feel my soul is tired.

Maybe it’s our busy schedule. Maybe it’s our constant connectedness on social media. Maybe it’s a lack of true rest during “down time.” Whatever the cause, whatever the life season, it seems we all experience it.

As I’ve pondered this common problem, Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30 once again stand out. “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Can I be honest here? I used to doubt Jesus’ words in that passage. They seemed almost to mock me. My Christian life was anything but restful. And Jesus’ burden light? That wasn’t my experience.

Ironically, when I hit a proverbial wall and my good girl life crumbled, that’s when I found rest. (For the full story, check out Confessions of a Good Girl.) In my broken, burned-out state Jesus pulled me close and showed me His dazzlingly beautiful, gentle and humble heart.

I found rest in the nearness of God. In better understanding His heart of grace. In seeing myself through His eyes and finding acceptance through Christ.

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Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me

He taught me that all of life is to be lived from that place of soul rest.

Like two oxen sharing the same yoke, Christianity’s essence is connectedness to Christ. We are participators, but the good works are His. He initiates what He wants done. He empowers us to do it. He produces His fruit in and through us.

What a relief to find it’s not up to me!

Yes, life is exhausting. There are people to serve, families to love, schedules to keep. Our hearts get battered and bruised and sometimes we feel like giving up. Cultivating endurance is no easy task.

But in all our toil, God offers us rest through ever-deepening closeness with Him.

This has become a new theme in my life.

The look here at Dazzled By The Son now spotlights that life change. I’m also going to try a new format for my regular blog posts. Since Jesus is the Source of rest, let’s get to know Him better – together. Let’s take single attributes of God, mull them over, ask questions and share thoughts gleaned from our own study of His Word.

Will you join me?

Comment below if there’s a particular quality of God you’d like to discuss, or if you want to explore how God’s character affects a specific problem or situation. I can’t wait to go deeper with Him – and you!

Related Posts:

Rest for the Restless

On Rest and Quiet Time

What I Learned from the Kid Who Fell Out of the Car

Apple of His Eye

“You can use my keys, Daddy,” she offered in her tiny sweet voice. Our baby girl held up her plastic rainbow keys as Hubby prepared to leave for the day.

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Sweet. Thoughtful. Adorable. But of course, completely impractical. Hubby knew they would never start his car.

But do you know what I noticed? He didn’t scold her for her childishness. He didn’t turn her away or ignore her unrealistic suggestion. He smiled and got down on her level, looking with delight into her bright, attentive eyes. She had come to him, and he was thrilled.

I wonder if that’s a little glimmer of how our heavenly Father relates toward us?

He doesn’t need our help, our gifts, our solutions, even our prayers. He is completely self-sufficient. And yet we, His kids, are His delight. (See Ps 149:4, Zeph 3:17.) It pleases Him when we come for any reason.

We don’t have to have the perfect prayer or really even know what to say (Rom 8:26). He loves it we talk to Him. He invites us to share life with Him. (He calls it “abiding” in John 15 and says that it’s the crux of the Christian life.)

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If you know God through faith in His Son, you have an all-access pass to His presence (Heb 4:16). Come anytime. Come all the time. For any and every reason – big or small.

Are you happy? Talk to Him about it! Thank Him for big and small joys. (See 1 Thess 5:18.)

Is your heart heavy? Throw your burden on Him! He’s big enough to handle it. (See 1 Pet 5:7.)

Do guilt and regret make you feel unwelcome? Come anyway. Let Him speak forgiveness over you. (See 1 Jn 1:9, Ps 103:12, 2 Cor 3:5.)

Are you entangled in sin? Bring it into His light. Let Him break your chains and teach you to walk free. (See Jn 8:36, Rom 12:2.)

You, child of God, are the apple of your Father’s eye.


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You are delighted in. Your salvation is all about relating to God, not about doing things for Him. He wants you to love Him, to delight in Him, to share life with Him. Out of that love for Him, everything else will flow.

Our Father is good. His love for us is so deep, so wide, so long and so high we could never find its borders.

“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” Ps 116:7.