by MeredithNMills | Oct 31, 2017 | fear, grace, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, Uncategorized
By Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Why, God? Why?
Has that question ever haunted you? Does your faith flounder when life deals a low blow, like our punching bag shuddering before my kids’ Kung Fu fists?
Mine does sometimes, especially when logic goes unsatisfied and cliché answers just won’t do. It’s been one of those seasons for me lately as we’ve grieved with several friends over the loss of beloved family members.
If you, too, wonder why, I invite you into the wrestling match within my soul.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asking God lately:
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If You are sovereign, as Your Word says You are, why do You sometimes allow horrible things to happen? I get the whole “free will” thing – some people chose to hurt others. And if I’m honest, I hurt others at times, too.
But why accidents? If You are good, as I’ve tasted and seen You are, why don’t You stop them before they occur?
I can’t make sense of this. And my heart is afraid to trust You with my future.
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Oh, the comfort of bringing my restless heart to Jesus and listening as He speaks through His Spirit and His Word. 
God led me to the story of Jesus at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11). Remember that time when He could have stopped His friend from dying, but He didn’t? He didn’t get there in time – on purpose.
I’ve never before noticed the connection between verses five and six. “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days.”
What?
Because He loved them, He stayed away long enough to let Lazarus die.
That seems utterly illogical. Lazarus’ sisters thought so, too. They both essentially accused Jesus of not loving them because He let their brother die through His tardiness. Divine love often baffles human reason.
Yet Jesus didn’t get angry with their questions or rebuke their boldness. On the contrary, He did something quite the opposite.
Jesus wept (John 11:35).
He knew the miracle He was about to perform – He would command death to release it’s grip on His friend. Within minutes, He would restore Lazarus to life and give him back into his sisters’ arms.
Yet His heart was so deeply moved by His loved ones’ suffering that He, too, wept with them. He felt their pain, and He feels ours, too.
He could have prevented Lazarus’ death, but He saw a bigger picture. Instead, He drew near to the sisters and wept with them.
This is Emmanuel, God with us. Near to the brokenhearted. A very present help in our need (Psalm 34:18, 46:1). The God of comfort restores shattered lives, trades beauty for ashes and replaces heaviness with praise.
He knows the end of our story, too – that for believers in Jesus, death is not the end. One day our suffering will be over. Like Lazarus and his sisters, we will be reunited with those gone before us into heaven.
But Jesus’ knowledge of the future doesn’t prevent Him from feeling our pain in the present or pouring out His comfort in abundant measure. 
After weeping with Mary and Martha, He proved that He Himself is the resurrection and the life. Death has no hold on Him. And one day, it will have no hold on us either.
Until that day, there will be many unanswered questions. Many times we won’t understand or feel the love of God. We’ll have many opportunities to wrestle with Him and choose faith when nothing makes sense, because we’ve found that Jesus alone holds life, hope, healing and peace.
He will set all things right someday.
In the meantime, He is so close, and His nearness is our good.
How has God walked you through wrestling matches of the soul? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below.
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by MeredithNMills | Oct 10, 2017 | fear, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, knowing God, Loneliness, Uncategorized, Waiting, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Sometimes life is really hard.
As a nation, we’ve experienced some tragic events lately – from the Las Vegas massacre to hurricanes and wild fires leaving destruction in their wake.
Closer to home, several dear friends lost loved ones in the last few weeks. We attended one funeral on Saturday – a dearly loved husband and father. Unexpected. Much too soon. Today, my husband played piano for yet another funeral – a beloved wife of nearly 59 years. Still too soon.
So much pain and heartache. Such enormous needs.
Many of us carry “smaller” burdens, concerns we voice to no one. Fears that plague us when we’re all alone. Important to us, nonetheless.
Whether your needs are immense or you carry less-big burdens today, my prayer for you is this:
May you find hope in the presence of God who promises it won’t always be this way.
May His love be a balm to your soul.
May you know the healing power of the One who is also acquainted with grief.
May His nearness be your ever-present comfort.
May He enter your loneliness and whisper words of tender affection.
May He give beauty for your ashes and be the stability of your soul.
May His grace be your lifeline,
His wisdom your next step,
His love the very breath that you breathe.
In Jesus may you find rest and healing for your soul.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” Ps 46:1.
What burdens do you carry today? I’d be honored to pray for you – please leave a comment below.
How has God been a refuge and very present help for you in the past?
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 22, 2016 | Family, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
A frantic scream broke the afternoon stillness. I immediately tried to diagnose the sound – my littlest was either angry or hurt. Following the direction of the crying, I found her in her daddy’s arms. He was carrying her toward the bathroom where he would wash and dress the cut she’d received when her foot was under the door she tried to close.
She was crying hysterically, writhing against the strong arms that held her.
She was in pain.
She was mad.
She was afraid.
She didn’t want to be carried by the “doctor.” She didn’t want him to clean it. And she certainly didn’t want a Band-Aid. (Unlike most kids, she seems to think Band-Aids contribute to her pain.)
But despite her efforts to resist, her daddy did what was best for her. He cleaned and doctored the little cut, all the while assuring her of his love.
After she calmed down, we had a heart-to-heart talk. I asked her the following questions –
“Do you trust your daddy? Does Daddy take good care of you? Does he love you? Protect you? Want the best for you?” She answered yes to each question, slowly realizing that her daddy’s actions had come from his love for her.
As we talked, I was struck by how very much this child is like her mother. I often respond to my heavenly Daddy in similar ways.
I get angry when life hurts, as if the pains of this human existence are His fault.
I sometimes pull away when He draws me close for comfort.
I doubt His intentions – His love and His goodness.
I’m afraid of His efforts to cleanse, heal and protect.
I want to leave the pain alone, instead of submitting to His cleaning, healing hands.
As a mother, I saw my baby girl’s situation so clearly – her daddy loves her and would do what was best for her, not matter how she fought him. And yet it could have been a moment of tender comfort and affection, if she had trusted her daddy’s heart.
As a follower of Jesus, I want to trust His heart.
It’s a matter of faith.
“…I took them up in My arms. But they did not realize I was the one who took care of them. I led them with kindness and love. I was to them like a person who lifts a little child to their cheek. I bent down and fed them” (Hosea 11:3-4).
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing” (Zeph 3:17).
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28).
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jer 29:11).
The One who takes care with kindness and love.
He is a good, good Father. His intentions toward us are kind (see Eph 1). He heals and gives restoration. He brings beauty out of ashes. He creates mosaic masterpieces out of broken, shattered lives.
All He does is good.
I want to trust Him. I choose to trust Him. Will you?
How do you remind your heart of truth when doubts flood your soul? Do you have a favorite Bible verse that comforts and reassures you in times of pain? Please join the conversation! I’d love to hear!
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by MeredithNMills | Nov 29, 2015 | Uncategorized
Don’t you just love a good sunrise? Pink, purple and orange streak across the sky like colors on an artist’s canvas. Birds join the parade of beauty in heralding the rising sun. Hope and anticipation fill the air.
Now, lest you get a false impression, I must admit that seeing the sunrise is not a common occurrence for me. I actually think I might be allergic to early mornings. But today I was awake well before dawn. I just returned from a mission trip on the other side of the world, so my internal clock is still trying to readjust to the current time zone.
But oh, how thankful I am for these quiet moments before the house comes alive. In fact, it seems that it was a divine set-up for what I would read in the Word this morning.
“…The Sunrise from on high (Jesus) will visit us” (Luke 1:78b). What a fitting intro to the Christmas season!
Jesus, the Sunrise from on high. That name fascinates me. A sunrise, in all its glorious beauty, carries with it the promise of a new day, a brighter day. It bursts with hope – a fresh start, a new beginning.
What an apt description of the Christ-child. We celebrate hope, joy and peace at Christmastime, because that is what our Savior represents.
In the verses following the one above, Luke goes on to explain what the Sunrise will do. He will visit us with tender mercies, to give light to those walking in darkness and living under death’s shadow. With the first glimmer of light, the first ray of sunshine, a message of hope is born – “Down with darkness!” The reign of sin, and all the misery that accompanies it – its end has come! The Light of the World, “the Sun of righteousness, will rise with healing in its rays” (Mal 4:2).
The Resurrection and the Life is here to kill death and rob it of its sting (1 Cor 15:55). No longer must we lie under condemnation and fear of death. Hope, forgiveness and healing are here.
In a world longing for peace, the Prince of Peace is born. We look for rulers and armies, but He comes as a homeless Baby. Small beginnings – like the first glimmer of dawn. As He grows and teaches and heals, the light grows brighter.
But then, in one last effort, darkness strikes a deathblow to this Light. And the Sunrise seems to stop before full light.
But as it is with nature, so it is with nature’s Creator.
Darkness can never extinguish light.
Bursting forth in full brilliance of day, Jesus rises from the grave and forever breaks the chains of death and darkness.
Because the Sunrise from on high has visited us.
Our world is still shrouded in darkness. But darkness has lost its power, because Light has come and shone into our hearts. War and death still fill the earth. But it will not always be so, because the Prince of Peace has won. Suffering and sickness strike us all. But the Sunrise from on high gives hope and “guides our feet into the way of peace” (Is 59:8).
Our God is with us. He walked among us to set all things right. He lives within the hearts of His own, giving hope, light and peace to those who once walked in darkness.
May your Christmas season be filled with the light of this Sunrise from on high!
How does His light affect your Christmastime festivities? Any creative ways you’ve found for shining His light during the holidays? I’d love to hear!
