by MeredithNMills | Feb 5, 2019 | abiding in Christ, freedom, knowing God, rest, serving, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
What comes to mind when you hear the word grace?
Do you think of a formal church service? Maybe a girl’s name? If asked to define it, what would you say?
Those who grew up in Sunday School might remember the acronym: God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Maybe you’ve heard some other catchy definition. Maybe you really aren’t sure.
I’ve heard about grace my whole life (something for which I’m incredibly thankful). But amazing didn’t really describe how I felt about it.
I was a good girl. Sure, God had forgiven my sins – at five years old. But my kindergartener shortcomings didn’t seem all that significant. Even during my teen and young adult years, I never did anything too bad.
So the grace we discussed at church only seemed amazing when I heard stories about drug addicts and ex-cons coming to faith. For people like that, grace truly was amazing. For me, though, I just didn’t feel it. Not only did I not do the really bad stuff, I spent my life doing lots of good stuff – having daily quiet times, leading Bible studies, teaching my kids about Jesus…
Because of my goodness, the amazingness of grace was lost on me.
Until that good girl life crumbled and I couldn’t keep up with my checklist Christianity. In that season of survival when I had nothing good to offer God, I felt His favor like never before. Suddenly, I saw the repulsiveness of my self-righteous Christianity, the utter inadequacy of my good deeds to earn His smile.
Suddenly, I began to understand grace.
Through all those years of pride and performance-based faith, God knew the depths of my heart. He saw the judgment with which I looked at others. He recognized how unimpressed I was with His blood-purchased grace.
Yet He loved me.
That is the essence of grace.
For the self-righteous and the unrighteous, grace is the key to understanding our Father’s heart. It’s an inseparable part of His nature, the basis on which He relates to us.
If your view of grace leaves you uninspired, maybe a fresh perspective will jump-start your heart as it did mine.
Our pastor recently gave this definition:
If you imagine God’s face as He looks at you, what expression do you see?
Do you see Someone excited to lavish you with good gifts? Is He favorably disposed toward you? Do kindness and generosity radiate from His eyes? Do you feel Him drawing you close, not to give you tomorrow’s to-do list, but to just be? Be close, be loved, be renewed, be transformed…
Or do you feel it’s up to you to keep yourself close to Him, to make yourself want Him, to grow and produce fruit so He’ll be happy with you? Must you earn His grace by trying hard to be humble, or is humility merely the recognition that you can’t?
Grace is only grace if we don’t deserve it (for both unbelievers and those who know Him). It flows freely, abundantly, exponentially from the heart of our God.
“For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (John 1:16).
Unexplainable, illogical, even scandalous by human standards, this grace is woven into every facet of our relationship with God.
You are deeply loved, daughter of grace. Your Father delights in you. He is lavish in kindness, abundant in power, persistent in His pursuit of your heart.
Grace is yours if you are His.
Rest in it. Revel in it. Run free in it.
What amazes you about grace? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
by MeredithNMills | Dec 19, 2018 | Uncategorized
Maybe it’s an echo of Eden or a yearning for things to come, this drive I have for perfection.
I long for things to be just so, for everything to fit in neat and tidy boxes, for the day to go as planned and all our stuff (aka clutter) to stay neatly organized.
Christmastime is no exception.
Actually, my drive for perfection may be even more intense this time of year. I want the tree trimmed symmetrically (I have been known to readjust ornaments after the kids go to bed), the shopping to be done ahead of time, and the menu to be memory-worthy. I long for quiet evenings by the tree with a cup of tea and a good book. And I want it all to progress slowly enough for everyone to enjoy the season.
But sometimes, most of the time, real life doesn’t fit in my ideal little boxes.
Right now, I’m sitting in front of the Christmas tree and a whole section of lights is out, despite the time my husband spent restringing all the lights (several times, but we won’t mention that frustrating fact.)
And it’s crazy early in the morning right now, but the jet lag from my mission trip 12 time zones away has my sleeping patterns all out of whack.
And the Christmas cards arrived from the printer on time, but they looked so awful I had to have them redone. Guess they’ll be late this year.
I realized, however, that these little details really are minor frustrations. For many people, Christmas is a time of deep sadness. Tears well up in my eyes as I remember friends who’ve suffered great loss recently. My dear mentor told me not a Christmas goes by without her thinking of loved ones not present at their holiday gatherings.
Real life is messy and full of heart-breaking disappointments. Christmas has a way of accentuating that pain.
Nothing in real life is truly Pinterest perfect.
But that’s why Emmanuel came.
Everything was perfect in His heavenly home. Perfectly sinless. Perfectly painless. Perfectly perfect in every way. Jesus was honored and served and adored there.
But you see, He loved these humans He’d created. The ones who’d traded in their perfect relationship with Him for a shot at doing life on their own – and we’ve been living with the fallout from that bad decision ever since (all the while adding our own sinful messes to the mix).
Yet no matter how broken humankind was, God wouldn’t stop loving them. He’d appear in their imperfect world, live among them, and make a way for their relationship with Him to be restored.
He wouldn’t do it our way, though. No royal palace, no sterile birthplace – Jesus stepped down right into the middle of our brokenness.
He entered a virgin’s womb, and everyone doubted his mother’s integrity. He showed up in a jam-packed town and only the animals made room for Him. Smelly shepherds were His greeting committee and foreign dignitaries paid Him homage, while most of His own failed to notice His arrival.
His hometown was despised. His people oppressed. For most of His life, He was simply “The Carpenter’s Son.” Thirty of His 33 years were spent in obscurity.
When His ministry officially began, He defied everyone’s idealized notions of how this Messiah thing should be done. Instead of conquering Rome’s oppressive regime, He said, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s” (Mark 12:17, NIV). While others clamored for first place, Jesus took off His robe, knelt before His bickering followers, and washed their filthy feet (John 13).
He loved the unlovely. He forgave the unworthy. He turned the world upside down.
This is the Baby we celebrate at Christmastime. So why on earth do we bustle so frantically to make sure everything is just right?
That first Christmas was a stunning display of God’s ability –affinity even — to create beauty, not in our perfection, but from our brokenness.
He’s present in the process, not just the finished product.
This is our Emmanuel – the God who’s right here with us, with all our struggles and heartaches, our warts and bruises and scars.
God’s idea of the perfect Christmas is vastly different than ours, which is really comforting to me. It reminds me that there’s beauty in this very moment, untidy as it is, if I’ll just be still and embrace it.
His presence is the heart of the Christmas spirit, so life doesn’t have to be perfect to celebrate the season.
As we count down the last few days until December 25th, let’s look for Jesus in each moment, bringing Him our heartaches, our disappointments, our frustrations.
Let’s choose present over perfect, memory-making over striving, and surrender to His plan over clinging to our own.
Let’s celebrate God’s work right now, even as we long for the perfection that will one day be our reality.
How about you? How are you finding rest in the middle of the Christmas crazy? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below!
by MeredithNMills | Aug 2, 2018 | Depression, Family, fear, freedom, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, pain, rest, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Waiting, Walking by Faith
What happened to my joy?
The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.
How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.
How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?
(For the rest of the story, hop over to CBN where I’m sharing today about my walk through depression and the hope I’ve found along the way.)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and welcome you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 25, 2018 | Family, grace, parenting, Uncategorized
Saturday is our family’s favorite day of the week.
From Sunday through Friday, we’re busy with school, work, church, sports, music, playdates, and the general busyness which accompanies family life.
But on Saturday, we take a breath.
We eat waffles for breakfast and the kids listen to radio adventures on a local Christian station. Most Saturdays, very little gets done until at least lunchtime. Sometimes the whole day is “unproductive” (as far as my to-do list is concerned).
But in reality, a lot happens on Saturday.
Not easily measured, the benefits of the day are experienced on the soul level. Our kids travel to faraway lands on imaginary explorations. My husband and I have time to just talk. I catch up on snuggles with my littlest and she often joins me in spending time with God.
On occasion, life redirects our Saturday routine. A swim meet or birthday party may call us away from home. Some Saturdays are as full as the rest of the week. But in general, we protect the day like any other appointment on our calendar.
Because Saturdays keep us going and refill us for the week ahead.
In our busy culture where productivity is king, our bodies and souls cry out for rest. We aren’t designed to toil endlessly day after day. Rest is a gift from God, often stolen from us by the tyranny of the urgent. Yet our Creator invites us to be still and breathe and savor the things which feed our souls and enrich our lives.
Here are some thoughts on making room for rest:
Routines vary from family to family and from one life season to another. An entire day may be impossible to block off in your week. Brainstorm as a family some ways you can carve out times of refreshment and togetherness. Whatever you decide upon, make sure to schedule it on your family calendar.
I have a friend whose family does pizza and a movie at home every Friday night. At the end of a long week, it’s a great way to unwind and enjoy being together.
If your family likes to play games, you could declare one night of the week or month as “family game night.”
Reading aloud is also a great way to relax together. Our current favorite is The Green Ember series.
Look for family outing opportunities. We recently loaded everyone in the minivan and drove for an hour without telling the kids where we were going. Anticipation mounted as we neared the zoo for an after-hours members’ night. We had a blast watching animals that aren’t normally active during the day as we savored unhurried moments together.
Too quickly these days are becoming memories. Let’s make time for rest as we enjoy the people entrusted to us by the Giver of all good things.
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by MeredithNMills | Sep 5, 2017 | Family, grace, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
by Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Sometimes you’ve got to give yourself a time out.
For several months, I’ve been very intentional about writing regularly, trying to post here on a weekly basis. But last week, I chose not to write. At all.
God told me not to.
I had lots of work to do – A book proposal waiting to be revised, a book in process, a weekly blog post, a monthly contribution to Just18Summers and another article to complete by the end of the month.
Clearly, I didn’t have time to take the week off.
But God showed me that writing had become an idol.
An Idol.
It’s a rather church-y word, one that’s lost much of its meaning to modern American Christians. We read about idols throughout the Bible, but they can seem like distant relics of the past or an unfamiliar element of cultures somewhere else in the world.
Maybe we need to rethink the word.
Maybe addiction is more relevant to our modern minds.
Unlike statues of gold, addictions can be much harder to recognize, but they’re just as insidious.
Some addictions are big and ugly and obvious. But most of them aren’t. Most start as good gifts, designed by God for our enjoyment and use.
But they become addictions when we find our identity in them.
When we panic at the thought of losing them – even temporarily.
When we can’t stop thinking about them.
When we look for comfort, peace or healing in them.
When they drive and control us.
That’s what happened with my writing. I had taken it up as a hobby several years ago. It was a refreshing way to process my thoughts and emotions and a means of sharing with others what God is doing in my life.
But I’ve grown to love the feeling of completing a piece and meeting a deadline. I get excited when I hear how God ministered to someone through my words. I enjoy reading comments and feedback.
Those good things, however, took root in my heart and seeped into my identity. They began driving and controlling me like a task-master.
What started as a good gift became an addiction, an idol.
When God showed me this, I asked Him what to do about it. Not all idols can, or even should, be completely discarded. I’ve wrestled with a food addiction for much of my life, but I certainly can’t quit eating.
As I prayed, Jesus reminded me of this verse: “…Take every thought captive to obey Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
Just as my thoughts need to obey Jesus, the gifts I’ve received need to be under His control as well.
My writing needs to obey Jesus – the time I spend on it, the projects I undertake, the very words I say.
My eating habits should obey Jesus – what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat.
My parenting ought to obey Jesus – how I speak to my kids, the way I train and discipline them, the activities we chose to do as a family.
My role as a wife needs to obey Jesus – how I talk to and about my husband, how I respond to him, the priority I give our relationship.
My people-pleasing personality should obey Jesus, so that His pleasure is my heart’s desire and satisfaction.
My use of time needs to obey Jesus.
Absolutely every area of my life needs to obey Jesus.
Because this is what following Him is all about – my whole self living in full surrender to the God who invites me to find rest in Him. Rest from the idols that drive me, rest from the law that condemns me, rest in Christ’s work and rest in the nearness of God.
While idols and addictions consume those who cling to them, Jesus offers the abundant life for which our souls were created. (See John 10:10.)
How about you? Are there any idols lurking in the shadows of your soul? Any addictions strangling your abundant life?
God loves us too much to let us continue worshiping at the feet of things that will destroy us. Will you bring your idols to Him and let Him show you how to bring them under His control? 
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please respond below.
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