by MeredithNMills | Aug 2, 2018 | Depression, Family, fear, freedom, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, pain, rest, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Waiting, Walking by Faith
What happened to my joy?
The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.
How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.
How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?
(For the rest of the story, hop over to CBN where I’m sharing today about my walk through depression and the hope I’ve found along the way.)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and welcome you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 25, 2018 | Family, grace, parenting, Uncategorized
Saturday is our family’s favorite day of the week.
From Sunday through Friday, we’re busy with school, work, church, sports, music, playdates, and the general busyness which accompanies family life.
But on Saturday, we take a breath.
We eat waffles for breakfast and the kids listen to radio adventures on a local Christian station. Most Saturdays, very little gets done until at least lunchtime. Sometimes the whole day is “unproductive” (as far as my to-do list is concerned).
But in reality, a lot happens on Saturday.
Not easily measured, the benefits of the day are experienced on the soul level. Our kids travel to faraway lands on imaginary explorations. My husband and I have time to just talk. I catch up on snuggles with my littlest and she often joins me in spending time with God.
On occasion, life redirects our Saturday routine. A swim meet or birthday party may call us away from home. Some Saturdays are as full as the rest of the week. But in general, we protect the day like any other appointment on our calendar.
Because Saturdays keep us going and refill us for the week ahead.
In our busy culture where productivity is king, our bodies and souls cry out for rest. We aren’t designed to toil endlessly day after day. Rest is a gift from God, often stolen from us by the tyranny of the urgent. Yet our Creator invites us to be still and breathe and savor the things which feed our souls and enrich our lives.
Here are some thoughts on making room for rest:
Routines vary from family to family and from one life season to another. An entire day may be impossible to block off in your week. Brainstorm as a family some ways you can carve out times of refreshment and togetherness. Whatever you decide upon, make sure to schedule it on your family calendar.
I have a friend whose family does pizza and a movie at home every Friday night. At the end of a long week, it’s a great way to unwind and enjoy being together.
If your family likes to play games, you could declare one night of the week or month as “family game night.”
Reading aloud is also a great way to relax together. Our current favorite is The Green Ember series.
Look for family outing opportunities. We recently loaded everyone in the minivan and drove for an hour without telling the kids where we were going. Anticipation mounted as we neared the zoo for an after-hours members’ night. We had a blast watching animals that aren’t normally active during the day as we savored unhurried moments together.
Too quickly these days are becoming memories. Let’s make time for rest as we enjoy the people entrusted to us by the Giver of all good things.
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 17, 2018 | abiding in Christ, freedom, friendship, grace, growing in Christ, knowing God, rest, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
Sometimes I get distracted.
Sunday night, hubby came home from a week-long business convention in Pennsylvania. We stayed busy while he was gone – the big kids went to STEM camp each day, our littlest enjoyed several play dates with her besties, and I wrote lots and lots of words. When the weekend rolled around, we were all more than ready for Daddy to be home.
Except that I wasn’t ready when he got home.
Dinner wasn’t done. The bathroom deep clean that had exploded into our bedroom wasn’t… well, cleaned up. The laundry sat where I’d left it, waiting to be put on hangers and hung in the closet.
How I wanted everything to be perfect when he walked in the door. But alas, real life got in the way.
And guess what? He didn’t care.
He just wanted to be with us. To hear about our week and tell us about his. To snuggle up close and enjoy the evening together.
As I bustled about the kitchen trying to hurry the cooking along, I remembered the story of another woman with whose life I so often relate.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” Luke 10:38-42.
I so get Martha! She loved Jesus and wanted everything to be perfect for Him. That meal in the oven was an expression of her affection. She longed to make Him comfortable, to help Him feel at home.
Yet all Jesus wanted was her.
Her heart, her focus, her devotion – not shown through works done in His name, but through responding to His loving pursuit.
In contrast to restless Martha, there sat Mary — the picture of a quiet heart.
Yeah, there were unfinished chores to be done. But Jesus had arrived, and she had to be near Him.
Serving from a distance just would not do.
If He was sitting in the living room, that’s where Mary wanted to be. If He went to the dining room, you’d find her there. If He walked outside, she’d join Him there, too.
Mary was preoccupied with Jesus.
The Bible mentions this Mary several other times – once at Lazarus’ tomb, where she brought her grief to Jesus just before He raised her brother from the dead, and again at a dinner party, where she anointed His feet with expensive perfume as an act of worship*.
In both scenarios, Mary went where Jesus was. She loved Him and needed Him, so she ran to Him with zero hesitation.
Oh, God, give me such a heart! May I never be content with days full of service yet absent of connection with You. Teach me to cultivate Your presence, both in my “daily quiet times” and in middle of my everyday crazy. 
How about you? How do you practice the presence of God? In what ways do you cultivate a quiet heart? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below!
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*John 11:32, John 12:1-3
by MeredithNMills | Oct 24, 2017 | abiding in Christ, Family, grace, growing in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
By Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Yesterday was not a good day.
Everyone in the Mills house woke up tired from a busy weekend. And busy weekends make for long Mondays.
The kids and I took a field trip which involved a lovely nature walk in the autumn-colored woods. An impending thunderstorm held off and the temperature was perfect.
The humidity, however, was intense. I wore rain boots instead of hiking boots so by the halfway point, I was exhausted. That halfway point happened to be at the bottom of a hill and the hike back seemed much longer than the hike in.
After a morning of learning about wildlife and preservation efforts, we headed home where a messy house greeted us and screamed of work that needed to be done. My afternoon to-do list didn’t include all the kiddo needs that arose, and I failed to handle those “interruptions” with grace.
It was not a good day.
As I look back on it, however, I see much for which to be thankful, so many things to slow down and savor, even in the chaos of the day.
Surely I could have done better.
But I didn’t. I didn’t live the day well.
Maybe it’s because I neglected to keep coming back to Jesus. I forgot that on my own I can’t do better. I can’t chose patience, grace or gratitude without staying connected to Christ, without yielding my heart and expectations to Him in each moment.
“And He will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge. The fear of the Lord is his treasure” Isaiah 33:6.
Underneath the shifting sands of emotional ups and downs, God is the bedrock for our souls. He offers the stability of His unchanging heart and faithfulness of character.
He’s the steady Source of everything I need in every moment – salvation from the sins that tempt me, wisdom when I don’t know how to parent, knowledge of His heart when I lose sight of His face – all these things in abundant measure.
In big struggles and little frustrations, God understands. He offers wisdom and grace for each one – and new mercies with every rising sun.
Stability in unstable times – this is God our treasure.
How has God been your stability this week? In what ways do you need Him to be your unchanging Rock today? Please comment below – I’d love to hear.
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by MeredithNMills | Aug 8, 2017 | grace, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
By Meredith Mills
@DazzledByTheSon
Why can’t I just say “no”?
I was a slave, bound by my own desires and cravings. Food was my master and I regularly did its bidding. Hungry or not, it didn’t matter. Delicious food or mediocre, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop myself. I was powerless to change.
And I hated it.
Guilt, shame, even despair, clung to my soul like my kids’ backpacks on the first day of school.
Here’s the crazy thing – I knew Jesus. This isn’t a pre-salvation story. I’d been a Christian for years. I knew the right answers:
- Christ in me is greater than the evil one (1 John 4:4).
- I’m more than a conquerer through Jesus who loves me (Romans 8:37).
- Sin shouldn’t have dominion over me, since I’m living under grace now (Romans 6:14).
But that’s where it stopped – in my head. New year’s resolutions, diets, shaming myself…none of it worked.
Finally, in desperation, I literally cried out to God. I remember two different nights, sobbing on my knees before Him, admitting my helplessness and begging Him to set me free.
And He did.
Not in an instant, but over time. He taught me to think differently and began transforming me on an emotional and spiritual level. I learned to recognize His voice as He talked to my heart, saying things like “You’ve had enough food” or “That’s a healthier choice.”
He satisfied me with Himself as He broke the chains of addictive sin.
And that’s what He’s willing to do in each sin struggle we face.
“You will again have compassion on us, and will subdue all our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depth of the sea” (Micah7:19 NKJV).
He takes captive those things that once held us captive. He makes them subservient to Himself.
And He flings those sins into the deepest depths of the ocean.
Kinda takes the sting out of temptation, doesn’t it?
It’s nice to know when we feel like we have to give in, our feelings are lying to us.
If we’re being real, though, we’d probably all admit victory is not an everyday reality. The above story happened years ago and honestly, I still struggle to obey Jesus in the realm of eating, though the addictive hold has been broken. It’s a battle I’ll most likely take with me to the grave. (I think of it as my ever-present reminder that I still need Jesus.)
But I know now that I don’t have to sin.
I know that “freedom to do whatever I want” isn’t true freedom at all.
And I know I want Jesus to be my Master – not self and sin. Jesus is good and kind, unlike the sin that seeks to destroy me. Jesus carries my burdens with me. He equips me for this spiritual battle and doesn’t leave me defenseless or alone.
He never meets me with condemnation, even when I fail, but rather with the mercy that triumphed at Calvary. He is instantly ready to pick me up, to redeem the mess I’ve made and help me move forward.
This life of freedom is a process. We must learn to walk with Jesus, to recognize His voice and trust that His heart for us is good. It takes practice to rely on Him for the strength (and sometimes the desire) we need to step out in faith.
There are no methods that can take the place of relating to Jesus – not even the spiritual disciplines.
Seriously.
Reading my Bible didn’t set me free.
Praying didn’t break sin’s hold on me.
Telling lots of people about Jesus didn’t inoculate me from addictive sin.
Nope. All of those things are empty when we look to them as our source and hope.
The Pharisees did all those things, but they missed Jesus and remained unchanged.
Walking in victory isn’t a matter of mustering the strength to obey or setting up strong enough “fences” to keep us on the straight and narrow. Nothing but an ever-deepening walk with Jesus can transform our hearts.
And yes, that does include the irreplaceable spiritual disciplines mentioned above. These and other disciplines are essential tools for knowing Him. But they are not the source of change – Jesus is.
What are you facing today? Does a particular sin hold you in its grip? May you find freedom in the nearness of Jesus, in acknowledging your powerlessness and in surrendering anew to the love of Jesus.
In what areas has Jesus set you free? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below!
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