Do you think of a formal church service? Maybe a girl’s name? If asked to define it, what would you say?
Those who grew up in Sunday School might remember the acronym: God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Maybe you’ve heard some other catchy definition. Maybe you really aren’t sure.
I’ve heard about grace my whole life (something for which I’m incredibly thankful). But amazing didn’t really describe how I felt about it.
I was a good girl. Sure, God had forgiven my sins – at five years old. But my kindergartener shortcomings didn’t seem all that significant. Even during my teen and young adult years, I never did anything too bad.
So the grace we discussed at church only seemed amazing when I heard stories about drug addicts and ex-cons coming to faith. For people like that, grace truly was amazing. For me, though, I just didn’t feel it. Not only did I not do the really bad stuff, I spent my life doing lots of good stuff – having daily quiet times, leading Bible studies, teaching my kids about Jesus…
Because of my goodness, the amazingness of grace was lost on me.
Until that good girl life crumbled and I couldn’t keep up with my checklist Christianity. In that season of survival when I had nothing good to offer God, I felt His favor like never before. Suddenly, I saw the repulsiveness of my self-righteous Christianity, the utter inadequacy of my good deeds to earn His smile.
Suddenly, I began to understand grace.
Through all those years of pride and performance-based faith, God knew the depths of my heart. He saw the judgment with which I looked at others. He recognized how unimpressed I was with His blood-purchased grace.
Yet He loved me.
That is the essence of grace.
For the self-righteous and the unrighteous, grace is the key to understanding our Father’s heart. It’s an inseparable part of His nature, the basis on which He relates to us.
If your view of grace leaves you uninspired, maybe a fresh perspective will jump-start your heart as it did mine.
Our pastor recently gave this definition:
If you imagine God’s face as He looks at you, what expression do you see?
Do you see Someone excited to lavish you with good gifts? Is He favorably disposed toward you? Do kindness and generosity radiate from His eyes? Do you feel Him drawing you close, not to give you tomorrow’s to-do list, but to just be? Be close, be loved, be renewed, be transformed…
Or do you feel it’s up to you to keep yourself close to Him, to make yourself want Him, to grow and produce fruit so He’ll be happy with you? Must you earn His grace by trying hard to be humble, or is humility merely the recognition that you can’t?
Grace is only grace if we don’t deserve it (for both unbelievers and those who know Him). It flows freely, abundantly, exponentially from the heart of our God.
“For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (John 1:16).
Unexplainable, illogical, even scandalous by human standards, this grace is woven into every facet of our relationship with God.
You are deeply loved, daughter of grace. Your Father delights in you. He is lavish in kindness, abundant in power, persistent in His pursuit of your heart.
Grace is yours if you are His.
Rest in it. Revel in it. Run free in it.
What amazes you about grace? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Maybe it’s an echo of Eden or a yearning for things to come, this drive I have for perfection.
I long for things to be just so, for everything to fit in neat and tidy boxes, for the day to go as planned and all our stuff (aka clutter) to stay neatly organized.
Christmastime is no exception.
Actually, my drive for perfection may be even more intense this time of year. I want the tree trimmed symmetrically (I have been known to readjust ornaments after the kids go to bed), the shopping to be done ahead of time, and the menu to be memory-worthy. I long for quiet evenings by the tree with a cup of tea and a good book. And I want it all to progress slowly enough for everyone to enjoy the season.
But sometimes, most of the time, real life doesn’t fit in my ideal little boxes.
Right now, I’m sitting in front of the Christmas tree and a whole section of lights is out, despite the time my husband spent restringing all the lights (several times, but we won’t mention that frustrating fact.)
And it’s crazy early in the morning right now, but the jet lag from my mission trip 12 time zones away has my sleeping patterns all out of whack.
And the Christmas cards arrived from the printer on time, but they looked so awful I had to have them redone. Guess they’ll be late this year.
I realized, however, that these little details really are minor frustrations. For many people, Christmas is a time of deep sadness. Tears well up in my eyes as I remember friends who’ve suffered great loss recently. My dear mentor told me not a Christmas goes by without her thinking of loved ones not present at their holiday gatherings.
Real life is messy and full of heart-breaking disappointments. Christmas has a way of accentuating that pain.
Nothing in real life is truly Pinterest perfect.
But that’s why Emmanuel came.
Everything was perfect in His heavenly home. Perfectly sinless. Perfectly painless. Perfectly perfect in every way. Jesus was honored and served and adored there.
But you see, He loved these humans He’d created. The ones who’d traded in their perfect relationship with Him for a shot at doing life on their own – and we’ve been living with the fallout from that bad decision ever since (all the while adding our own sinful messes to the mix).
Yet no matter how broken humankind was, God wouldn’t stop loving them. He’d appear in their imperfect world, live among them, and make a way for their relationship with Him to be restored.
He wouldn’t do it our way, though. No royal palace, no sterile birthplace – Jesus stepped down right into the middle of our brokenness.
He entered a virgin’s womb, and everyone doubted his mother’s integrity. He showed up in a jam-packed town and only the animals made room for Him. Smelly shepherds were His greeting committee and foreign dignitaries paid Him homage, while most of His own failed to notice His arrival.
His hometown was despised. His people oppressed. For most of His life, He was simply “The Carpenter’s Son.” Thirty of His 33 years were spent in obscurity.
When His ministry officially began, He defied everyone’s idealized notions of how this Messiah thing should be done. Instead of conquering Rome’s oppressive regime, He said, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s” (Mark 12:17, NIV). While others clamored for first place, Jesus took off His robe, knelt before His bickering followers, and washed their filthy feet (John 13).
He loved the unlovely. He forgave the unworthy. He turned the world upside down.
This is the Baby we celebrate at Christmastime. So why on earth do we bustle so frantically to make sure everything is just right?
That first Christmas was a stunning display of God’s ability –affinity even — to create beauty, not in our perfection, but from our brokenness.
He’s present in the process, not just the finished product.
This is our Emmanuel – the God who’s right here with us, with all our struggles and heartaches, our warts and bruises and scars.
God’s idea of the perfect Christmas is vastly different than ours, which is really comforting to me. It reminds me that there’s beauty in this very moment, untidy as it is, if I’ll just be still and embrace it.
His presence is the heart of the Christmas spirit, so life doesn’t have to be perfect to celebrate the season.
As we count down the last few days until December 25th, let’s look for Jesus in each moment, bringing Him our heartaches, our disappointments, our frustrations.
Let’s choose present over perfect, memory-making over striving, and surrender to His plan over clinging to our own.
Let’s celebrate God’s work right now, even as we long for the perfection that will one day be our reality.
How about you? How are you finding rest in the middle of the Christmas crazy? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below!
“Thank You, God, that we got to have waffles for breakfast. Thank You that we played Uno today. Thank You that we went to Pop and Tutu’s for dinner. Thank You for my jammies and my stuffed monkey and my pillow and…”
I stifled an impatient sigh as my five-year old prayed back through her day, giving thanks for both big and little blessings. Her prayer must have delighted God’s heart, but for this weary mom, it prolonged what I had hoped would be a quick goodnight.
By bedtime prayers each evening, I am done. Ready to tuck everyone in, hoping they don’t boomerang too many times for another sip of water or help with a scary shadow or one more trip to the potty. My to-do list is usually still running and I long for some down time before heading to bed and starting all over again tomorrow.
Sometimes it takes a kindergartener to give perspective on life’s truly important details…
“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
Everything.
In every situation, every single day, we’re surrounded by expressions of our Father’s loving heart. It’s easy to get distracted by my next responsibility and miss the beauty of the moment. I tend to focus on what I want or need from God, while forgetting to notice the many things He’s already given me. And sometimes, life is just really hard. Gratitude is the last thing on my mind.
Yet God calls us to give thanks – He knows it does our hearts good. It turns our focus heavenward and deepens our love for the One who loved us first.
As we embark on this holiday season, let’s determine to cultivate thankfulness – not just for one day in the middle of two hectic months, but every day. Here are a couple of ways to practice gratitude together as a family:
Play the Alphabet Thankfulness Game
Sometimes while driving between lessons or errands, we play the Alphabet Thankfulness Game. Starting with A, we call out things we’re thankful God has given to us: apples, bunnies, cars, Daddy, etc. It’s a fun way to remind ourselves of God’s abundant goodness.
Record your blessings
Set out a journal or a basket with index cards and pens. Encourage family members to write down things for which they are thankful any time a blessing comes to mind. Our family uses a special “Blessing Box” – it’s currently sitting on my grandmothers’ hutch. In addition to dropping in cards describing out blessings, we also include prayer requests (and we try to remember to record how God answers).
In every season, Our Father delights in being good to His children. Every good thing comes from Him. Let’s ask Him to help us recognize His blessings and lead our children in cultivating a lifestyle of gratitude.
“I’m writing a note to God,” my preschooler announces proudly.
She thoughtfully scribbles her message on a 3×5 card, then opens the hinged lid of our ”Blessing Box” and adds her note to the jumbled mess of index cards. It looks disorderly, even confusing, but to me it’s a beautiful mess.
Each of those mismatched cards is a record of something important to us – a three-year old’s note to God, a list of things we’re thankful for, a prayer request and its subsequent answer.
I wish I could say we are systematic in adding cards to our blessing box. I wish I could tell you how often we take it out and read its contents. But, alas, this busy mama is far less organized and consistent than I like to admit.
Despite my unfulfilled great intentions, however, there it sits on my grandmother’s hutch in our bustling dining room—a constant reminder to count our many blessings, an ever-present invitation to recall the faithfulness of God.
We add to it at random. We open it up and read on occasion.
Like the other night when my oldest daughter put the box on the table before dinner. She gave each of us a blank card and instructed us write something for which we are thankful. Then she passed around the box for us to drop in our card and pick out another to read aloud.
Or the other morning when the kids and I all had bad attitudes and needed to reflect on God’s good gifts—our family and friends, an air-conditioned home, clothes and shoes, food and clean water, and the fact that Jesus loves children (my three-year-old’s contribution). Our focus shifted as we remembered the good things we’ve been given.
Or that season a while back when money was tight and work was slow. I recorded a very specific prayer request for provision and was thrilled to record God’s answer the very next day.
Many a memory is preserved in our treasured blessing box.
Do you have a place to record things for which you’re thankful? In case you’d like to create your own blessing box, here’s how we did it:
Choose a box – I picked one that fit our décor, because I planned for it to have a permanent home in a prominent location. I love the hinged lid because it’s easy for little hands to open (and can’t get lost!)
Stock up on pens and index or thankfulness cards. — We keep these in a nearby drawer so they’re always handy when we have something to record.
Get everyone involved — Our family knows that anyone can add to or read from our blessing box at any time.
This has been a great tool for us in cultivating gratitude and making memories as a family.
How do you count your blessings? I’d love to hear — please leave a comment below!
Summer vacation, that is. The heat is forecasted to stick with us for a while yet. The kids are back to their studies and our weekly routine is becoming more…routine.
I’m not sure what happened to the lazy days of summer, but we didn’t see many of them this year. All three kids swam on our neighborhood swim team and had a blast. A six-times-a-week blast. Then our son started cross country with one, then two, now three practices a week. There were other activities as well, like VBS and STEM camp and playdates.
While the kids were busy, I spent a lot of time writing and even tackled a few painting projects. Our summer was definitely full.
But as the school year approached and I went into prep mode for our homeschool and co-op, I realized life was about to get even busier.
Not going to lie – I’ve had a few meltdowns trying to keep up with everything. One night I jolted awake, gasping for breath as I realized I was in the middle of a panic attack. It seemed strange, because I wasn’t mentally worried about anything. Yet the emotional stress of trying to juggle all my responsibilities was taking its toll.
The irony of my current writing project has not escaped my notice. I mean, really. I’m writing a book on soul rest. It seems I may have picked the wrong topic.
Until I remember that I’m writing it because I’m learning it.
Rest is on my heart because God’s teaching me to rest it in the middle of our everyday crazy. Things may not slow down, at least not for long. But Jesus’ invitation to “come rest” remains unchanged in each life season.
Here are a few things He’s teaching me on this crazy, busy road:
Soul rest takes returning
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7). In the busyness, it’s easy to become unsettled. To grow restless when life feels out of control or when our insides are knotted up for one reason or another.
Living from a heart of rest requires a choice – a conscious decision to cling to faith over feelings, to let God draw us back to Himself as our Source of peace.
Soul rest has a Source
The psalmist found rest in remembering God and we can, too. Right in the middle of life’s crazy, without waiting for things to calm down, we must remind our hearts of who God is:
He is abundantly good, even when life isn’t.
He responds to my prayers.
He is gracious, compassionate, and faithful.
He is infinitely powerful.
He’ll never call me where His grace won’t sustain me.
He’s already provided, in Jesus, everything I need to live the life to which He’s called me.
He loves me unconditionally and welcomes me to come running – freely, boldly, to Him.
He is, and always will be, for me.
The bottom line, I’m learning, is that soul rest is a walk of faith.
Whether I’m sitting at His feet in prayer or driving my kids to yet another lesson or practice, I can rest fully and freely in my relationship with Jesus. He never changes and His definition of me is constant, too.
When you know you’re relentlessly loved and fully accepted, life gets a whole lot easier.
That is the reality for every follower of Jesus. Will you join me in resting in this truth today?
How do you practice soul rest? I’d love to hear – please comment below to join the conversation! Or click here to join my email group and receive access to all the Bible Study printables in my free resource library.
My littlest coined the phrase a while back. In was her baby-talk way of asking me to spend “one-on-one time” with her. We laughed at the cute expression, but it stuck. Now we all use the term for our special mommy-and-me times.
We started this practice of one-on-one time a few years ago during a particularly frustrating parenting season. My days were spent correcting and instructing, yet the negative behavior continued. My husband suggested that maybe our kids needed some focused alone time with me – just the two of us having fun together.
Sure enough, it made a world of difference. Contentment settled in. Each child seemed to come alive as I joined him or her in doing things they love to do.
Our kids need more than training and discipline. They need us. They need to be reminded that we love them, that we enjoy spending time with them, that we think they’re really special – no matter how they behave.
Having fun together is a great way to help them remember.
Here are some tips for spending one-on-one time with our kids:
Let them choose
I don’t particularly love LEGOS – I’m a bit clueless when it comes to creating masterpieces from tiny bricks. But all three of my kids love playing with them, so LEGO building is a frequent choice for our times together. Sometimes we read books (my favorite). Other times we color or play a game. They all love the chance to pick our one-on-one activity.
Unplug
My phone is a frequent distraction. To eliminate the problem, it’s helpful to put it somewhere away from our hang-out spot. Text messages and notifications can wait. Putting our devices aside communicates to our kids that they are our priority.
Focus on the relationship
Whatever activity they choose, these alone times are a beautiful way to deepen our friendship with our kids. Ask open-ended questions. Talk about what’s going on in their lives. Point out things you love about them.
As we invest in our kids through focused time together, we model the heart of our God who takes great delight in His kids.
But sometimes, most of the time, real life doesn’t fit in my ideal little boxes.
He entered a virgin’s womb, and everyone doubted his mother’s integrity. He showed up in a jam-packed town and only the animals made room for Him. Smelly shepherds were His greeting committee and foreign dignitaries paid Him homage, while most of His own failed to notice His arrival.
I’m not sure what happened to the lazy days of summer, but we didn’t see many of them this year. All three kids swam on our neighborhood swim team and had a blast. A six-times-a-week blast. Then our son started cross country with one, then two, now three practices a week. There were other activities as well, like VBS and STEM camp and playdates.
