by MeredithNMills | Jul 13, 2020 | Family, friendship, Loneliness, Uncategorized
“I get to see a real person?”
I’d just gotten off the phone with my friend and the kids’ beloved babysitter. She’d called to say she was on her way over to pick something up.
Our seven-year-old daughter heard my side of the conversation and couldn’t contain her excitement over seeing an actual person somewhere other than a computer screen.
When our friend arrived, the kids rushed onto the front porch to say hello. Though we maintained a six-foot distance and chatted in the front yard, it felt good to enjoy a face-to-face conversation.
Months of social distancing have taken their toll. But they’ve also taught us the value of human connection. Of sharing life with the people who live in our spaces.
It’s easy to take for granted those we love the most. Even in our families, we can unintentionally live parallel lives and forget to enjoy the relationships within our own walls.
I’m thankful for the reminder to see my people. To value our interactions and invest in those around us.
Here are four ways we can be intentional in cultivating togetherness in our homes:
- Make room for fun
I’m a bit of a no-nonsense person. At any given moment, I could recite the mental to-do list looming in the back of my mind. Most days, work feels more important than play. Yet if I wait until it’s all done, I’ll never stop to enjoy our life.
I’m learning to see the value in play. For in those moments when we’re simply enjoying each other, I learn a lot about my people — their strengths, their passions, their sense of humor. And I realize that the memories we’re making help build our family and solidify the relationships we share.
So make room for fun — family movie nights and afternoon board games, books read aloud and hikes through the woods, cookie baking and Lego building, bike rides and jumping together on the trampoline. It all adds up to shared experiences and hearts drawn close.
- Prioritize one-on-one time
While family time is priceless, our kids need one-on-one time with us, as well. They need to feel seen. To know we like them and want to spend time focused on them.
Ask what they’d like to do together – just the two of you – then do your best to make it happen. I love seeing each child’s personality shine as we spend these times with one another. My oldest daughter likes to scroll through Pinterest or just sit and talk. My son usually wants to build with Legos or take a bike ride. My littlest enjoys baking something we’ve never made before or reading a book.
If you have more than one child, be creative in occupying your other kids while focusing on just one of them. You can designate a “quiet time,” where everyone spends 30 minutes playing or reading in their room. Or set out coloring books on the kitchen table while an audio book plays in the background. Or make a stack of board games for them to play together. Be sure each child knows this is a special time for just you and their sibling, but that they can look forward to their turn soon.
Planning for these times takes some intentionality, as well as a good dose of spontaneity, but it’s well worth making a priority.
- Face hard things together
The Bible talks often of the value of facing life with another person. (See Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.) Especially in the hard times, our kids need to know we’re with them and for them. Whether it’s a worldwide pandemic or the uncertainty of a new school year, let’s give our kids the gift of knowing they’re not alone — that come what may, we’re in this together. And that even when we don’t have all the answers, we’ll walk through uncertain times with them.
Recently, God taught me that this concept of togetherness is also helpful when I must administer discipline. As our perfect Father, He wants to walk through hard times with us — even when they’re the result of our own foolish choices. So when possible, face the consequences with your child. If it’s a time out, have them sit in the room with you. If it’s an added chore, grab another broom and help them sweep the floor.
Let’s make sure our kids know we’ll face the future with them.
- Invite them in
In Romans 14, we’re reminded to accept those who are different from us, because God also accepts that fellow believer. In the Bible’s original Greek, the word “accept” carries the connotation of welcoming into friendship.
I love that picture and the application it has on day-to-day family life. Each family member is so very unique, yet God calls us to welcome one another into friendship.
Invite them to work with you in the kitchen. Let them join your no-longer-quiet “quiet time.” Share your struggles and what God is teaching you through them. Let them walk with you through the ups and downs and ins and outs of everyday life.
As families, we have the privilege of enjoying human connections each and every day. Let’s invest in those relationships and be purposeful about doing life together.
by MeredithNMills | Aug 2, 2018 | Depression, Family, fear, freedom, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, pain, rest, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Waiting, Walking by Faith
What happened to my joy?
The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.
How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.
How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?
(For the rest of the story, hop over to CBN where I’m sharing today about my walk through depression and the hope I’ve found along the way.)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and welcome you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
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by MeredithNMills | Aug 15, 2017 | abiding in Christ, freedom, grace, growing in Christ, Identity in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Waiting, Walking by Faith
“Please don’t let me mess up. Help me not to make a mistake.”
I stood in front of our church congregation, filling in as a member of the worship team. I would be leading out on the next song. My stomach was in knots as I thought through all that could possibly go wrong, things that have gone wrong in the past.
I could forget the words. My voice could crack. I could miss that high note.
Listening to the song’s intro (my heart obviously not worshiping), I realized something quite convicting – I’m quick to admit I’m not perfect. I talk about transparency and the importance of being real, of extending grace in our weaknesses and laughing at our embarrassing moments.
But I don’t like people to see me make mistakes. I want to control which imperfections they observe.
It’s one thing to talk about our mistakes and embarrassments, even our sins, in the past tense. It’s another matter to mess up when people are watching.
For most of my life, I’ve aimed at perfection. It seems a worthy pursuit. Jesus Himself said, “You are to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).
When the Bible uses this word perfect, however, it has the connotation of completeness and maturity.
This term “can be used in a relative or absolute sense…God’s perfection is absolute; man’s is relative reaching the goal set for Him by God with each individual different according to one’s God-given ability.” – Lexical Aids to the New Testament, Key Word Study Bible
God is perfect. He’s sinless and holy. He needs and lacks nothing.
We, His children, on the other hand, are in the process of becoming perfect and mature. We’ve been declared righteous and our sins have been washed away. Yet the Holy Spirit is about the lifelong work of forming Christ in us – and He’s not in a hurry.
True perfection, like all of Christianity, revolves around Jesus, not our own efforts to keep a good image or avoid mistakes. Jesus is our example, as well as our Source of transformation. He uses even our weaknesses to mature us and make us like Christ. (See 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.)
So today, instead of focusing on myself and the image I want to maintain, I choose to rejoice in the work God is doing in my heart, my life and my home.
How about you? How is Jesus perfecting you these days?
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 25, 2017 | Family, knowing God, serving, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
Maaaaaaaama! Can you help me? 
Can you fix this?
Find that?
Look at this?
Open that?
Change this?
Mama, I need you!
If you’re a parent, you get it. You know what it’s like to repeatedly change your agenda because someone needs you. You know the reality of days spent helping.
It’s what we parents do. Because we love, we serve.
Sometimes, though, I feel a little sorry for myself. I look at my insurmountable To-Do List and think, I can’t get any of MY work done! I imagine more glamorous, exciting ways to spend my time.
Some days I just want to be served, instead of serving.
(Side note, my sweet hubby and kids do serve me and love on me – all the time, in fact. I just forget to notice when I’m focused on myself.)
I guess it’s human nature to think of serving as a lesser job. To be the helper is less desirable, less prestigious. Important people have servants. Less important ones are the servants.
But I think we’ve got it backwards, because the Bible often calls God our Helper and portrays Jesus as our Servant.
- “You have been the Helper of the orphan” (Psalm 10:14).
- “God is my Helper; The Lord is the Sustainer of my soul” (Psalm 54:4).
- Jesus “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).
- “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My [Jesus’] name, He will teach you all things and will bring to your remembrance all that I said to you” (John 14:26).
- “We confidently say, ‘The Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid…’” (Hebrews 13:6).
No one is higher than God Himself, yet during His last moments on earth, Jesus dressed Himself as a servant and washed His followers’ feet. The dirty, dusty feet of every single one of them. Even Judas, whom Jesus knew would betray Him with a traitor’s kiss later that night. Even Peter, who would deny even knowing the Master for whom he swore he’d die.
Jesus did that night what only servants would do.
He spent His whole life doing what servants do. He taught for days on end. He healed the sick. He touched the untouchables. He raised the dead and forgave the penitent. He poured out His life helping those around Him, not because He was inferior, but because they needed Him.
It’s what God has done since the inception of humanity.
God our Servant. Kinda changes things, doesn’t it? Because God is our Helper:
- We fill a sacred role when we serve those He’s put in our lives.
- We have an ever-present Helper with whom we can face the dailyness of life, as well as the trials that come our way.
How about you? What difference does it make to know that God is your Helper? In what ways do you need His help today? Please comment below – I’d love to hear! Let’s get to know Him better together!
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by MeredithNMills | Jun 24, 2016 | Family, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Identity in Christ, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
“What did you swallow?” the triage attendant asks incredulously.
I brace myself and repeat for the hundredth time. “I swallowed the tab from a soda can.”
“What did you swallow?”
“How’d you do that?”
I know. I already feel stupid. Who does this sort of thing?
I’m not your everyday ER patient. I’m not a child who put something weird in her mouth. I wasn’t drunk or otherwise impaired. I’m just a mom who was watching her kids at swim team practice.
Earlier that morning, when I grabbed a can of La Croix and dashed out the door, I had no idea how the day was about to change. When the darling, adorable child pulled off the tab and dropped it inside, I didn’t know I should throw the can in the garbage right that very moment. It never crossed my mind that one could actually swallow something as big as an aluminum tab – before even realizing what had happened.
Nope, I didn’t know any of that – until today.
Now I’m rather an expert on such things.
Two sets of x-rays, 5+ hours in the ER and an endoscopy… still no tab. It left its mark – I can feel the scratch down my throat. But the tab itself has officially gone into hiding.
Quite a frustrating, unpleasant day. Not one I’d like to repeat. Ever.
But it wasn’t all bad. In fact, as I ponder it in retrospect, I’m struck by one thing – the Body of Christ is truly an amazing gift.
My sweet friend at swim team practice dropped everything and drove me home, then cared for my kids all day. My precious hubby cleared his schedule and sat with me in the emergency room. My family and church family prayed. Lots of people sent offers of help via text message. And the GI doctor, who called me after I left the hospital, asked if he could pray for me over the phone. His prayer brought me to tears. He called on God our Healer and Provider and lifted me before the Lord in Jesus’ name.
We Christians have been born again into a truly incredible community!
We are family!
Church friends, long-time friends, new friends, even total strangers…if we’re Christians, we all have one thing in common. We love Jesus. And because of that, we are family.
Right now, story after story is washing over me as I remember God’s love poured out through His people.
Like when our whole church rejoiced at my oldest child’s baptism.
And when concerned friends brought meals during my sick days of pregnancy.
And when a dear man from church sent my little boy a note to say that he’s praying for him.
And when loved ones cried with us as we grieved a miscarriage.
In joys and sorrows, achievements and losses – we’ve been through it all together. This is how it’s supposed to work. This is the Body functioning as God planned. What a beautiful gift!
I know, it’s not happiness and harmony all the time. We the collective Church are human. We’ve been forgiven and made new, but we don’t always act like it. Sometimes we hurt each other – sometimes even on purpose. Oh, how the devil loves to tear us apart!
But we need each other. We need committed friendships and regular fellowship that we aren’t quick to walk away from. It’s worth working at, working through, and working beyond the issues that separate. It’s worth swallowing our pride and admitting when we’re wrong. It’s worth overlooking offenses, extending forgiveness, accepting differences and learning from each other.
Who do you do life with?
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Eccl 4:9-10, 12).
This gift of community is priceless.
So today, I’m asking myself – how well am I contributing to the Body of Christ? Am I as willing to serve others as they have been to me? Am I pursuing growth and unity out of love for Jesus?
How about you? How are you doing? What community of believers do you do life with and how have you ministered to one another? I’d love to hear!
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