by MeredithNMills | Aug 2, 2018 | Depression, Family, fear, freedom, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, pain, rest, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Waiting, Walking by Faith
What happened to my joy?
The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.
How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.
How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?
(For the rest of the story, hop over to CBN where I’m sharing today about my walk through depression and the hope I’ve found along the way.)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and welcome you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
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by MeredithNMills | Jul 17, 2018 | abiding in Christ, freedom, friendship, grace, growing in Christ, knowing God, rest, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
Sometimes I get distracted.
Sunday night, hubby came home from a week-long business convention in Pennsylvania. We stayed busy while he was gone – the big kids went to STEM camp each day, our littlest enjoyed several play dates with her besties, and I wrote lots and lots of words. When the weekend rolled around, we were all more than ready for Daddy to be home.
Except that I wasn’t ready when he got home.
Dinner wasn’t done. The bathroom deep clean that had exploded into our bedroom wasn’t… well, cleaned up. The laundry sat where I’d left it, waiting to be put on hangers and hung in the closet.
How I wanted everything to be perfect when he walked in the door. But alas, real life got in the way.
And guess what? He didn’t care.
He just wanted to be with us. To hear about our week and tell us about his. To snuggle up close and enjoy the evening together.
As I bustled about the kitchen trying to hurry the cooking along, I remembered the story of another woman with whose life I so often relate.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” Luke 10:38-42.
I so get Martha! She loved Jesus and wanted everything to be perfect for Him. That meal in the oven was an expression of her affection. She longed to make Him comfortable, to help Him feel at home.
Yet all Jesus wanted was her.
Her heart, her focus, her devotion – not shown through works done in His name, but through responding to His loving pursuit.
In contrast to restless Martha, there sat Mary — the picture of a quiet heart.
Yeah, there were unfinished chores to be done. But Jesus had arrived, and she had to be near Him.
Serving from a distance just would not do.
If He was sitting in the living room, that’s where Mary wanted to be. If He went to the dining room, you’d find her there. If He walked outside, she’d join Him there, too.
Mary was preoccupied with Jesus.
The Bible mentions this Mary several other times – once at Lazarus’ tomb, where she brought her grief to Jesus just before He raised her brother from the dead, and again at a dinner party, where she anointed His feet with expensive perfume as an act of worship*.
In both scenarios, Mary went where Jesus was. She loved Him and needed Him, so she ran to Him with zero hesitation.
Oh, God, give me such a heart! May I never be content with days full of service yet absent of connection with You. Teach me to cultivate Your presence, both in my “daily quiet times” and in middle of my everyday crazy. 
How about you? How do you practice the presence of God? In what ways do you cultivate a quiet heart? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below!
Related Posts:
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*John 11:32, John 12:1-3
by MeredithNMills | Jun 28, 2018 | Family, growing in Christ, Uncategorized
Knock, knock, knock.
Inwardly I cringed just a little. Outside that door, my husband was caring for our kids so I could spend some much-needed time with Jesus before starting the day. I relished the stillness as I quietly sipped my coffee.
But my preschooler was awake and she missed me.
I answered her knock. “Come in.”
All smiles, she opened the door and climbed up on the bed beside me. After a good morning hug and kiss, she said, “Can I stay in here?”
I hesitated, then said, “You’ll have to be quiet. Can you do that?” She promised she would.
Then she noticed the gratefulness journal sitting next to me. She’d seen it before and knew that’s where I record lists of things for which I’m thankful. “Can I write in it?” she queried.
Perfectionism reared its ugly head….
But that’s my journal. I’ve carefully arranged my lists of blessings in orderly columns, each bullet point lining up neatly under the one above. I don’t want four-year-old handwriting to mess it up!
But she wanted to add her own list of blessings. And thankfully, the Holy Spirit within me is stronger than my perfectionism.
I handed her a pen with instructions on where to write. She immediately set to work creating her own gratitude list. The first item on her list was God Himself.
She’s thankful for God.
Me, too. I’m thankful He patiently teaches me that times with Him don’t have to be interruption-free and gratitude lists don’t have to be perfectly formatted.
I’m thankful He set aside heaven’s perfection to enter our untidy, broken world. To walk among us and show us the Father’s heart.
And I’m thankful He’s teaching me to love my kids with His “people over projects” kind of affection.
That quiet time was far from quiet. My journal is no longer perfectly arranged.
But my little one and I remembered to give thanks. Then we knelt by the bed and talked to Jesus together. She caught a glimpse that day of what friendship with God looks like.
At its core, this is what Christian parenting is all about – modeling for our kids the treasure of knowing God and living in sync with Him.
As we seek to carry out this eternal mission, let’s keep the following in mind:
When we allow our kids to join our personal prayer times or share something God taught us recently, they see God actively involved in the big and small details of daily life.
Inevitably, we’re going to fall short, despite our best intentions and well-laid plans. In those moments, we have the opportunity to humble ourselves and ask their forgiveness, expressing confidence that God is still working on us. Someday, when they’re faced with their own failures and shortcomings, they’ll have our example of how to walk with Jesus through the struggles of life.
Be intentional about spending time with God together – reading and discussing the Bible, praying for needs as a family, talking about how God’s Word applies to everyday situations we face.
As refreshing as it is to enjoy truly quiet times with God, sometimes He offers the equally beautiful gift of togetherness when our little ones join us in conversing with Him. Eternity exists in those moments. Let’s embrace them and celebrate together the beauty of loving and being loved by God.
by MeredithNMills | May 29, 2018 | Family, growing in Christ, Uncategorized, Walking by Faith
“Alleluia. Alleluia!”
The words of our song echoed through the Russian cathedral. We stood in the balcony, enraptured by the polished beauty surrounding us.
We were playing tourist that day, taking time off in the middle of a mission trip to Siberia. Our team didn’t plan on singing. There was no audience, at least no one we saw. But the chapel’s breathtaking glory inspired a song of praise, rising from the lips of American Christians half a world away from home.
When we finished, an older Russian woman selling souvenirs in the cathedral’s gift shop thanked us for our song. She’d prayed for years to someday hear God’s praise sung in another tongue.
He answered her prayer that day through the spontaneous song of an American mission team.
It’s easy to see the eternal significance of such moments and to rejoice at being used by God. It’s not as easy, however to see the sacred beauty hidden in the mundane ministry of parenting.
We can often become discouraged or wonder if God is disappointed with us during this life season.
To be sure, sometimes ministry looks like ministry, as it did that day in Siberia. And when I think of Jesus’ ministry, I immediately remember His works of healing, of calming the sea and casting out demons, of teaching multitudes about the Father’s heart.
But when He knelt before His disciples and washed their filthy feet – that’s when He said, “Follow My example.” (See John 13:1-17.)
At its heart, ministry is caring for the needs of those around us through the love and power of Christ. When we serve our families, we’re walking in Jesus’ footsteps.
Wiping noses and cooking meals and shuttling everyone around – that’s ministry. Using everyday events and teachable moments to point our kids to Jesus – that’s ministry. Setting aside our own comfort and preferences for the good of those we love – that’s ministry.
It’s not in the spotlight. Sometimes it’s kind of boring. Other times, it’s crazy hard. It’s certainly not as thrilling as singing in a Russian cathedral.
But to Jesus, it’s beautiful. It matters in eternity.
Remember His words:
- “…Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me” (Matthew 25:40, NIV).
- “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23-24, NIV).
- “…If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ…” (1 Peter 4:11b, NIV).
- “…Your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:18b-21, NIV).
Be encouraged, moms and dads. God sees your daily sacrifices. He treasures your love poured out on the dear ones He’s entrusted to you. You serve Jesus when you serve your family.
Related posts:
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by MeredithNMills | May 16, 2018 | grace, growing in Christ, hope, Identity in Christ, Uncategorized, Waiting, Walking by Faith
Well, hello there. It’s been a while.
I’ve written a lot over the last few months but have been a bit absent here. Let me fill you in.
In February, I took a break from blogging, sharing here only what I wrote for Just18Summers. Discouragement and self-imposed deadlines had turned my writing journey into a burden, where once it had been a delight.
I spent some time asking God to refine my focus, to clarify the underlying passion He’s placed in my soul, to define the driving force behind every word I write.
Why am I writing?
What am I trying to say?
What change has God brought in my life over the last few years which could transform my readers’ lives as well?
What does He want to communicate using my voice and my story?
A single word surfaced as I prayed.
Rest.
Funny, rest has been the theme of this blog for over a year because it really is, I now realize, the singular passion of my soul. But I wasn’t living or writing from that place of soul rest.
So God took me back to the path we’ve walked together. He showed me again the restlessness in which I once lived and the brokenness I experienced when I could no longer keep up with life. Like it was yesterday, I remember the day when my self-sufficiency bowed to His lavish grace (Confessions of a Good Girl).
On that path five years ago, I discovered the rest which comes from trusting Jesus’ merits instead of my own – not just for salvation, but for day-to-day walking with God. From knowing and loving Him. From drawing near to Christ and staying there in the dailyness of life.
My soul learned to breathe as I experienced the beauty of His heart and the wonder of being His own accepted child.
After God reminded me of our history together, I realized some things had to change. I needed to return to rest (Psalm 116:7) — in life in general, and writing in particular. I asked God to show me how to balance the various callings He’s given me as a wife and mommy, teacher, writer, church member, etc.
During this time, I’ve mulled over what it means to truly live each day from a heart of rest. Because let’s just be honest. Normal life is anything but restful.
I keep coming back to the story of Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet while Martha bustled around her (Luke 10:38-42). Mary’s ability to rest in the middle of chaos intrigues me. Jesus’ words to a frantic Martha ring in my heart: “You are worried and upset about many things, but a few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42, NIV, emphasis mine).
What was this one thing which enabled Mary to rest?
As I’ve pondered and prayed over that question, a new book project began taking shape in my mind, one which provides the framework and heart behind the devotional I started last summer (Things are Changing Around Here). This new book discusses in detail the one thing that’s essential to living from a heart of rest.
So I now have two books in process and two book proposals nearly complete.
Will you pray with me about these projects?
- That God will continue teaching me to have a heart of rest
- That I’ll live from that place as I write these books
- That He’ll open doors to share these projects with industry professionals and provide an avenue for publication, if that’s His purpose at this time
- That I’ll be sensitive as His Spirit guides me through this process
Here at Dazzled By The Son, we’ll continue looking at various attributes of our God and how we can rest, by faith, in who He is. I’d love for you to join me in this discussion!
What quality of God is most meaningful to you?
What quality of God most confuses you?
Let’s talk about it!
Related Posts:
Rest for the Restless
On Rest and Quiet Time
by MeredithNMills | Mar 1, 2018 | Family, fear, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache
“I’m glad we’re Christians, Mama.”
Smiling in agreement, I asked my 11-year-old what made her feel that way. Her response still echoes in my heart.
Read the rest of the story at Just18Summers
