by MeredithNMills | Feb 12, 2019 | Family, grace, growing in Christ, knowing God, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
Sometimes I just can’t control my tongue.
It was not a good day. For whatever reason, we were just off. I was irritable and impatient. I found myself correcting every little infraction, every childish noise. The more I corrected, the more frustrated I became. And the more my kids acted up.
After snapping at one of my children, I realized I needed help. This downward spiral was not going to improve without divine intervention.
“Lord, please help me control my tongue!”
As I whispered the prayer, the following verse came to mind: “…What you say flows from what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45b, NLT).
My shoulders slumped. If restraining my tongue is a difficult job, changing my heart is impossible. I’ve tried unsuccessfully to do it for many years.
Discouragement gave way to hope, however, as I remembered God is more than able to do just that. His power is infinitely greater than my sin. In love, He pointed out the root of my tongue troubles, not to condemn me, but to show the deeper level on which He wants to work (see Romans 8:1 and 1 John 1:9).
“Lord, change my heart, so love and grace can flow out of me.” My prayer had changed, just as my heart was changing.
Are you struggling to control your tongue today? Be encouraged. God is willing and able to change the heart out of which your mouth speaks. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Ask God to show you the root of your struggle. I’ve realized I become most irritable when I feel out of control – like when the house is a mess and company is coming over and I can’t keep my kids focused on their chores. Or when I just want the day to run smoothly so I’m not inconvenienced or made uncomfortable.
God wants to deal with sin, not merely on the behavior level, but at its core. Once we realize why our tongues are out of control, we can pray for heart change in those specific areas. We’re also more equipped to recognize these heart issues early on, before our tongues take control.
Last week, I became increasingly frustrated during a family chore time. God reminded me that I didn’t have to control the situation, that if my friends arrived before the house was clean, it was okay. As I surrendered to His control, my heart calmed down and my tongue stayed in check.
As parents, it’s easy to focus on things in our kids’ lives which need correction. While correction is essential, our children also need abundant affirmation and praise. They need us to notice their effort, to applaud them for making the hard choice to do right, to affirm the work of God we see in their lives. They need to know we are for them. That we love them and enjoy them and would choose them out of all the kids in the world. God can help us see the good He wants us to affirm in our kids – we just have to ask Him.
The tongue may be impossible to tame, but our God is able to do the impossible. As we allow Him to change our hearts, we’ll notice a drastic change in our tongues, as well as in our parenting.
by MeredithNMills | Sep 11, 2018 | abiding in Christ, Family, grace, growing in Christ, Identity in Christ, knowing God, serving, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Walking by Faith
And just like that, summer is over.
Summer vacation, that is. The heat is forecasted to stick with us for a while yet. The kids are back to their studies and our weekly routine is becoming more…routine.
I’m not sure what happened to the lazy days of summer, but we didn’t see many of them this year. All three kids swam on our neighborhood swim team and had a blast. A six-times-a-week blast. Then our son started cross country with one, then two, now three practices a week. There were other activities as well, like VBS and STEM camp and playdates.
While the kids were busy, I spent a lot of time writing and even tackled a few painting projects. Our summer was definitely full.
But as the school year approached and I went into prep mode for our homeschool and co-op, I realized life was about to get even busier.
Not going to lie – I’ve had a few meltdowns trying to keep up with everything. One night I jolted awake, gasping for breath as I realized I was in the middle of a panic attack. It seemed strange, because I wasn’t mentally worried about anything. Yet the emotional stress of trying to juggle all my responsibilities was taking its toll.
The irony of my current writing project has not escaped my notice. I mean, really. I’m writing a book on soul rest. It seems I may have picked the wrong topic.
Until I remember that I’m writing it because I’m learning it.
Rest is on my heart because God’s teaching me to rest it in the middle of our everyday crazy. Things may not slow down, at least not for long. But Jesus’ invitation to “come rest” remains unchanged in each life season.
Here are a few things He’s teaching me on this crazy, busy road:
- Soul rest takes returning
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7). In the busyness, it’s easy to become unsettled. To grow restless when life feels out of control or when our insides are knotted up for one reason or another.
Living from a heart of rest requires a choice – a conscious decision to cling to faith over feelings, to let God draw us back to Himself as our Source of peace.
The psalmist found rest in remembering God and we can, too. Right in the middle of life’s crazy, without waiting for things to calm down, we must remind our hearts of who God is:
- He is abundantly good, even when life isn’t.
- He responds to my prayers.
- He is gracious, compassionate, and faithful.
- He is infinitely powerful.
- He’ll never call me where His grace won’t sustain me.
- He’s already provided, in Jesus, everything I need to live the life to which He’s called me.
- He loves me unconditionally and welcomes me to come running – freely, boldly, to Him.
- He is, and always will be, for me.
The bottom line, I’m learning, is that soul rest is a walk of faith.
Whether I’m sitting at His feet in prayer or driving my kids to yet another lesson or practice, I can rest fully and freely in my relationship with Jesus. He never changes and His definition of me is constant, too.
When you know you’re relentlessly loved and fully accepted, life gets a whole lot easier.
That is the reality for every follower of Jesus. Will you join me in resting in this truth today?
How do you practice soul rest? I’d love to hear – please comment below to join the conversation! Or click here to join my email group and receive access to all the Bible Study printables in my free resource library.
by MeredithNMills | Aug 30, 2018 | Family, friendship, ministry, Uncategorized
We call it “One-Oh Time” in our house.
My littlest coined the phrase a while back. In was her baby-talk way of asking me to spend “one-on-one time” with her. We laughed at the cute expression, but it stuck. Now we all use the term for our special mommy-and-me times.
We started this practice of one-on-one time a few years ago during a particularly frustrating parenting season. My days were spent correcting and instructing, yet the negative behavior continued. My husband suggested that maybe our kids needed some focused alone time with me – just the two of us having fun together.
Sure enough, it made a world of difference. Contentment settled in. Each child seemed to come alive as I joined him or her in doing things they love to do.
Our kids need more than training and discipline. They need us. They need to be reminded that we love them, that we enjoy spending time with them, that we think they’re really special – no matter how they behave.
Having fun together is a great way to help them remember.
Here are some tips for spending one-on-one time with our kids:
I don’t particularly love LEGOS – I’m a bit clueless when it comes to creating masterpieces from tiny bricks. But all three of my kids love playing with them, so LEGO building is a frequent choice for our times together. Sometimes we read books (my favorite). Other times we color or play a game. They all love the chance to pick our one-on-one activity.
My phone is a frequent distraction. To eliminate the problem, it’s helpful to put it somewhere away from our hang-out spot. Text messages and notifications can wait. Putting our devices aside communicates to our kids that they are our priority.
- Focus on the relationship
Whatever activity they choose, these alone times are a beautiful way to deepen our friendship with our kids. Ask open-ended questions. Talk about what’s going on in their lives. Point out things you love about them.
As we invest in our kids through focused time together, we model the heart of our God who takes great delight in His kids.
by MeredithNMills | Aug 2, 2018 | Depression, Family, fear, freedom, growing in Christ, Hope in the Midst of Heartache, Loneliness, pain, rest, Uncategorized, Victorious Living, Waiting, Walking by Faith
What happened to my joy?
The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.
How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.
How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?
(For the rest of the story, hop over to CBN where I’m sharing today about my walk through depression and the hope I’ve found along the way.)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and welcome you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
Related Posts:
When I Forget…God is Faithful
On Questions Without Answers
by MeredithNMills | Jun 28, 2018 | Family, growing in Christ, Uncategorized
Knock, knock, knock.
Inwardly I cringed just a little. Outside that door, my husband was caring for our kids so I could spend some much-needed time with Jesus before starting the day. I relished the stillness as I quietly sipped my coffee.
But my preschooler was awake and she missed me.
I answered her knock. “Come in.”
All smiles, she opened the door and climbed up on the bed beside me. After a good morning hug and kiss, she said, “Can I stay in here?”
I hesitated, then said, “You’ll have to be quiet. Can you do that?” She promised she would.
Then she noticed the gratefulness journal sitting next to me. She’d seen it before and knew that’s where I record lists of things for which I’m thankful. “Can I write in it?” she queried.
Perfectionism reared its ugly head….
But that’s my journal. I’ve carefully arranged my lists of blessings in orderly columns, each bullet point lining up neatly under the one above. I don’t want four-year-old handwriting to mess it up!
But she wanted to add her own list of blessings. And thankfully, the Holy Spirit within me is stronger than my perfectionism.
I handed her a pen with instructions on where to write. She immediately set to work creating her own gratitude list. The first item on her list was God Himself.
She’s thankful for God.
Me, too. I’m thankful He patiently teaches me that times with Him don’t have to be interruption-free and gratitude lists don’t have to be perfectly formatted.
I’m thankful He set aside heaven’s perfection to enter our untidy, broken world. To walk among us and show us the Father’s heart.
And I’m thankful He’s teaching me to love my kids with His “people over projects” kind of affection.
That quiet time was far from quiet. My journal is no longer perfectly arranged.
But my little one and I remembered to give thanks. Then we knelt by the bed and talked to Jesus together. She caught a glimpse that day of what friendship with God looks like.
At its core, this is what Christian parenting is all about – modeling for our kids the treasure of knowing God and living in sync with Him.
As we seek to carry out this eternal mission, let’s keep the following in mind:
When we allow our kids to join our personal prayer times or share something God taught us recently, they see God actively involved in the big and small details of daily life.
Inevitably, we’re going to fall short, despite our best intentions and well-laid plans. In those moments, we have the opportunity to humble ourselves and ask their forgiveness, expressing confidence that God is still working on us. Someday, when they’re faced with their own failures and shortcomings, they’ll have our example of how to walk with Jesus through the struggles of life.
Be intentional about spending time with God together – reading and discussing the Bible, praying for needs as a family, talking about how God’s Word applies to everyday situations we face.
As refreshing as it is to enjoy truly quiet times with God, sometimes He offers the equally beautiful gift of togetherness when our little ones join us in conversing with Him. Eternity exists in those moments. Let’s embrace them and celebrate together the beauty of loving and being loved by God.
