Mary and Martha paint a vivid picture of two very different siblings. Busy Martha was a hostess at heart. In Luke 10:38-42, we see her welcoming Jesus into her home (something she did on more than one occasion). While Jesus taught his disciples, Martha bustled about her kitchen, working hard to prepare a meal worthy of her King. Driven by a taxing to-do list, Martha’s many acts of service left her anxious and distracted.
In the other room, Mary took a different posture. She joined Jesus’ disciples on the floor, sitting at his feet as a learner. Enraptured with this Teacher, Mary hung on his every word. She, in contrast to her sister, seems the picture of peace. Even when Martha accused her of laziness and told Jesus to make her come help in the kitchen, Mary stayed quietly in her seat.
Then Jesus came to her defense. “‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her’” (Luke 10:41-42).
When reading this passage, it’s important to remember both women loved Jesus. Both called him their Lord (Luke 10:40, John 11:32). Both offered him their worship — Martha through her hospitality, Mary through anointing his feet with perfume (John 12:1-3).
When Jesus corrected Martha, he didn’t condemn her or say her service didn’t matter. Instead, he pointed to the turmoil in her soul. Her restless heart revealed a deeper issue — she was missing the point of following him.
We, too, can easily get sidetracked, confusing busyness with fruitfulness, thinking Jesus wants our service most of all. But the sisters’ encounter with Jesus points to a different way of walking out our faith.
What Is the One Needed Thing That Mary Chose?
Jesus boiled down what really matters to a single decision — but what is it?
Was it Mary’s choice of simplicity over Martha’s fancy preparations? Did Jesus praise her because she made room for him in her busy schedule? Are we to follow her example by making sure we have a daily quiet time with God? While these are important practices in the life of a Christian, a closer look at the big picture of Jesus’ ministry points to something fundamentally different.
Martha was busy doing things for Jesus, while Mary focused on receiving from him.
Ultimately, the one thing Mary longed for was Jesus himself. Centuries earlier, the psalmist David expressed a similar heart cry, “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple”(Psalm 27:4). The apostle Paul later echoed the sentiment, “I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8).
Mary, David, Paul, and others had a single-hearted passion to know God deeply. And in gaining him, they received the source of their souls’ satisfaction.
As Charles Spurgeon said, “If you have the Holy Spirit, you virtually have all good gifts, for the Spirit is the earnest of God’s love, the pledge of joys to come; and he brings with him all things that are necessary and good for you.”
What Do We Receive from Him?
Throughout his time on earth, Jesus called people to come to him and receive all he brings to the relationship. This isn’t a one-time experience, something we merely accept at salvation. On the contrary, he beckons us to cultivate the habit of turning to him continually.
In John 7:37-39, Jesus invited thirsty souls to come to him for living water — the ongoing life source that flows from his Holy Spirit. As we enjoy continuous fellowship with him, he produces his abundant life within us.
In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus called to the weary and burdened, offering rest for their souls. By learning from him and getting to know his heart, we experience the inward peace Mary enjoyed as she sat at his feet.
In 2 Corinthians 5:21, Paul described an astounding exchange — Jesus took our sin and in return, he gave us his goodness. When he perfectly kept God’s law, he did it as our representative. Through faith in him, we’re not only forgiven, but we also receive credit for all the good works he did.
Also in 2 Corinthians 5, Paul taught that we receive a new identity when we place our faith in Christ (verses 17-18). No longer should we define ourselves by past failures, others’ opinions, or the work we do. We are friends with God, reconciled by the work of his Son. We’re beloved children who have confident access to his heart and his ear (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:5-7, Ephesians 3:12, Hebrews 4:16).
In John 15:4-8, Jesus explained that we receive the ability to bearhis Spirit’s fruit through our connection with him. Being loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled — these virtues aren’t up to us to produce for God. Instead, through our yielded lives, his Spirit freely bears his fruit in us (Galatians 5:22-23).
In 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, God declared that he’s given each of us a beautiful life purpose. Ours is the joy of helping others find friendship with God, too.
In Philippians 4:19, Paul proclaimed that from God we receive the satisfaction of all our needs. Do you lack wisdom? Go to God (James 1:5). Strength? Draw from God (Philippians 4:13). Provision? Ask God persistently (Luke 11:5-13). Healing? Look to the God who has healing in his wings (Malachi 4:2).
What about Serving Him?
Mary discovered that Jesus called her to relationship before service, but this doesn’t mean she sat idle every day. All through his Word, God calls us to action, instructs us to be diligent, and warns us to take seriously the spiritual battle in which we’re engaged. Ours is not a complacent faith.
So how does this relate to receiving from him instead of doing for him? How can we live busy lives from hearts at rest?
The core issue depends on where we look for our source. Are we trying hard to be good for God? Do we measure our spiritual health by the number of commitments on our calendar or disciplines we maintain? Are the opinions of others (or our own expectations) the standard by which we live? If so, we’ll likely burn out or grow deeply resentful along the way. The soul rest Jesus promised will be an elusive dream. We’ll find ourselves trapped in a Martha kind of restlessness.
If, however, we continually return to Christ as our source, learning to wait on him and draw upon him for our every need, we’ll find the inner peace Mary experienced at Jesus’ feet.
An old hymn entitled Channels Only beautifully describes the life of a fruitful believer living from a heart at rest.
“How I praise thee, precious Savior, That thy love laid hold of me; Thou hast saved and cleansed and filled me That I might thy channel be.
Channels only, blessed Master, But with all thy wondrous power Flowing through us, thou canst use us Every day and every hour.”
As a pipe merely carries water, as a lamp shines light drawn from an outside electrical source, so Jesus invites us to live from the overflow of his Spirit’s filling. He’ll do his work through us, but it will be just that — his work. And we’ll experience the joy of a life lived beyond ourselves.
Two Ways of Relating to Him
In Mary and Martha’s story, we see two patterns of relating to Jesus. Martha related to him as a servant while she busied herself with all she wanted to do for him. Mary related to him as a disciple. With single-hearted devotion, she longed to be near him — listening, learning, receiving from him as she enjoyed his companionship.
We, too, can choose how we’ll relate to Jesus. Will we be content to serve him from a distance? Or will we repeatedly draw near, listening for his voice, learning from his heart, and joining his work as we live out of the overflow of our relationship with him?
It’s been a while since I shared my thoughts in this space. The events of the past two years have often left me speechless—weary from listening to all the voices, aching at the growing division among us (even among God’s people), anxious over the uncertainty of these days.
I’ve spent a lot of time journaling my thoughts and prayers, often sitting in silence, or pondering how God’s Word speaks to life events. I’ve heard Him whisper reminders of His love. I’ve been encouraged by His faithfulness to His Word.
How thankful I am He is “the stability of our times” (Isaiah 33:6). In every circumstance, like an immovable mountain, God remains constant and always close by.
Because He doesn’t change and because He’s welcomed us into relationship with Himself, soul rest remains possible even in unsettling times.
If you’ve been reading along with me for a while, you may know a bit of my journey from legalism into grace. (If you’d like to read the long version, you can find it here.) I write a lot about rest, for I’ve found peace in learning to let go of my striving and settle down — in Christ’s merit, in the tenderness of a Father who’s for me, in a life guided and empowered by the Spirit of God.
Yet I’m realizing this journey is a long one. A lifelong one, in fact.
I let go of the try-harder life of legalism nearly a decade ago. Yet God continually takes this process deeper, showing me areas where I’m still trying to do things for Him, instead of resting in Him.
On my journey, I’ve spent a lot of time deconstructing – rethinking my framework of faith. Asking tough questions. Looking into Scripture to see if what I believe fits with what I find there.
These years of deconstruction have been intensely painful, yet priceless in value. For with the tearing down has also come a rebuilding, a reconstructed life of faith centered on the rest only Jesus can give. (Stay tuned for a future post on deconstruction – what it is and why it can be a good thing.)
This is the direction future posts will take: deconstructing try-harder Christianity so we can flourish in our relationships with God – settling into the abundant life Jesus came to give. I’m excited to share what God has been teaching me.
Seven Devotions from the Garden
Website Changes:
You may have noticed this website looks different than it has in the past. I’ve redesigned the look and added some new pages. My favorite page is the newly launched “Freebie Library” for email subscribers. This library offers a growing collection of downloadable pdfs, one of which is a seven-day devotional I wrote entitled Flourish: Devotions from the Garden to Help You Thrive.
If you haven’t yet subscribed, I invite you to sign up today. You’ll receive access to the Freebie Library, be the first to know when a new post is up, and receive “ID cards” (reminders of who God is and who He says we are) with each regular email.
Thank you for joining me here. I hope your fall is filled with beautiful memories and lots of thanks giving.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
In what ways are you learning to let go of the try-harder life? I’d love to hear! Please leave a comment below. And if you know others who’d like to walk this journey with us, I’d love for you to share this post.
Seven years ago, I set out on a journey. This month I reached my destination.
I’ve never been a “read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year” person, although I’ve started such plans more than once, never making it past the first few books of the Old Testament.
Seven years ago, though, I was desperate. A series of life crises and some pretty astounding encounters with grace caused me to take a hard look at my beliefs about God.
At that point, I’d been a Christian for 30 years. I had studied the Bible since my teens and filled a dozen or more journals with conversations I’d had with God. Yet when life fell apart, it was as if I met Him all over again.
The God who showed up in my brokenness was far more welcoming and merciful than I had believed.
Instead of meeting me with condemnation, He lavished acceptance upon me. Instead of expressing disappointment, He showed me His delight over me. Instead of telling me to get up and get back to work, He lifted the burden of a try-harder life and gave rest to my soul.
He surprised me.
He dazzled my weary heart.
And oh, how He drew me to want to know Him better.
So I grabbed my Bible and a journal, picked a reading plan that would allow me to move at my own pace, and asked God to reveal Himself to me. To correct any misconceptions I had about His character. To help me understand who He really is.
I read ever so slowly, jotting down every single thing I noticed about God from Genesis to Revelation. It took seven years and five journals, but without a doubt, this journey through Scripture has been the most life-changing Bible study I’ve ever done.
Maybe you are a “read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year” kind of person. Maybe, like me, you’ve started and given up or gotten distracted. Maybe you gravitate to your favorite verses and chapters, but you’ve never tried reading through the whole big Bible. Or maybe you’re new to Bible study and are looking for a good place to start.
Whatever your normal practice is, I invite you to dive deeply into Scripture with the singular purpose of knowing God more intimately.
Here are my top five tips on looking for God as you journey through His Word:
Find your best reading plan.
Reading the Old and New Testaments simultaneously can keep us from getting bogged down in the harder sections of the Old Testament. (For me, those are the genealogies or the many details of building the Israelite’s tabernacle.)
I highly recommend the “Reading Plan” app by James H. Price. This app guided me through my seven-year adventure. In the app settings, I chose a “thematic plan,” specifically designed for reading related passages together.
Listen for God’s Spirit.
Because the Holy Spirit is our Teacher, helping us understand truths only spiritually discerned, I like to begin my study time with prayer. Sometimes I forget, and God is still faithful to teach me, but praying first reminds me of my need for His wisdom.
Choose quality over quantity.
While there’s certainly value in reading large sections of Scripture at a time, I love studying slowly so I have time to think deeply and converse with God about what I’m learning. In the Reading Plan app settings, I set the titles to “reading numbers,” rather than the date, so I didn’t feel behind as I read at my own pace. I also set it to “open to last read” for the same reason.
Take lots of notes.
Jot down everything you see about God as you read. You may find these things expressly stated, as in the following verse – “…The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6b). Using bullet points, my notes would look something like this:
You are the LORD (which means YHWH, the I Am)
You are compassionate
You are gracious
You are slow in expressing anger
You love is abundant
Your faithfulness is abundant
In other verses, you may observe God’s character indirectly as you read stories of how He interacts with His creation, as in the book of Jonah, where God both raised up and destroyed a plant to shield Jonah from the sun’s heat. In that instance, I might record:
You give and take away
You use physical realities to teach us spiritual truths
Included in my “Bible Study Bundle” freebie is a printable entitled, “Who Are You, God?” It’s designed specifically for taking notes on what you learn about God as you journey through His Word. If you’re subscribed to my newsletter, you should have already received this pdf bundle in a welcome email. If you’d like to get a copy, enter your email address below and I’ll send it your way.
You can also use a journal for keeping these notes. I like to record the book and chapter at the top of my journal page, then use bullet points to record individual items underneath.
Give yourself grace.
Reading through the Bible is like a marathon, not a sprint. It’s okay for it to take a long time. There may be days you don’t get to your Bible reading. You may take a break to study a specific topic or join a Bible study your friends invited you to participate in. Your reading plan will be there waiting for you when you get back.
There’s no rush, no spiritual “to do list” demanding you check all the boxes.
Bible study is about knowing God and relating to Him over the pages of His Word.
Enjoy Him! Savor your quiet time. He’s not in a hurry and we don’t have to be either.
I hope these ideas are helpful! I’d love to hear how they work for you, as well as your own tips for studying the Bible! Please drop me a comment below!
That’s how I’ve felt this year more times than I can count. Other than journaling, I’ve written very little.
I’ve experienced all the feelings – fear, contentment, anxiety, peace, sorrow, happiness, disappointment, hope. Processing rogue emotions with Jesus and landing back on solid ground has felt like a full-time job.
But hindsight is 20/20, they say (whoever they are.) As I look back on the past 364 days, three things have become unmistakably clear to me.
2020 has been hard.
Sometimes we Christians avoid speaking candidly about negative things. We fear being coined a complainer or labeled as someone who’s selfish or has weak faith. We even shy away from bringing raw emotions to God because we know He wants us to be grateful and to trust Him in both good times and bad.
But an honest acknowledgement is often the first step in processing our emotions, confronting our doubts, and moving deeper in our faith – a depth we’ll never experience if we simply gloss over our struggles.
2020 has been hard. We’ve all felt the sting of cancelling long-anticipated plans. We’ve been lonely, stir crazy as the hours tick by in the walls we’re mandated to stay within.
Our family lost a friend we loved as our own and the tears just come up without warning. We’ve self-quarantined three times, on top of the state-wide shut-down which grounded us all this spring. We’ve endured the discomfort of the covid19 test four times more than we’d like. We’ve worried about paying the bills during weeks when my husband has had to stay home.
This year has had more than its share of anxiety, disappointment, and pain.
But ours is a gracious God, slow to anger and abounding in loyal love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6). He understands our feelings because He’s felt them, too – both as an emotive God and more specifically, as the God-man who walked among us for thirty-three years. He can sympathize with our weakness, our heartache, and our discouragement.
He invites His own to come to Him boldly and pour out everything stirring in our souls.
Will you take Him up on His invitation?
2. 2020 has seen God “up to great good.”
Midway through the pandemic, I enjoyed a phone meeting with my dear mentor. We talked about the hardships and frustrations we’d faced that spring and then she said, “But God is up to great good here.”
Our conversation screeched to a halt as I paused to consider her words. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard her say that. It’s kind of like her mantra. But I’d lost sight of it in the mess of 2020. I asked her to help me see some good, because my faith was anything but strong at that moment.
She told me a story or two of lives she’d seen touched by the redemptive power of God’s presence. Her faith bolstered mine and my vision improved.
It wasn’t long before I, too, could see God’s goodness weaving through our year – His work in drawing our family closer, His nudge toward slowing down, His miracles in meeting our physical needs and watering the seeds of my kids’ faith.
Sometimes we need a good friend to help us refocus when our own lens of faith goes fuzzy.
Who is that friend in your life?
If you don’t have such a friend right now, it’s okay – God is the Friend who sticks even closer than family. He’ll gladly point out His goodness if we ask Him.
3. 2021 has a clear forecast.
Even as I type those words, I struggle to believe they’re true. Humanly speaking, the year ahead looks like storm clouds and more rain. Our troubles aren’t going to vanish when the clock strikes midnight.
But as Jesus-followers, we’re not limited to our human perspective. Thank goodness, because fear tends to suffocate my soul if I look too long through my own lenses.
As we turn our hearts toward Jesus and seek shelter near His heart, He readjusts our focus to see more of what He sees.
Here’s the clear forecast for 2021:
God won’t change. We can anchor our souls to the reliability of His character and His Word.
God will always be up to great good. Whatever troubles come, Jesus is greater and in Him, we overwhelmingly conquer.
God won’t forget us or leave us on our own. His wisdom, His power, His very presence are available to us every moment of every day.
As we step into this near year, let’s set our hearts anew to seek this God whose nearness is our good (Psalm 73:28). More than anything, we need Him.
I’m planning to set aside a day (or portion of a day) in January to get alone with God. In case you’d like to do this, too, check out “Planning a Retreat with God” in my Freebie Library to help you make the most of that time.
I’d just gotten off the phone with my friend and the kids’ beloved babysitter. She’d called to say she was on her way over to pick something up.
Our seven-year-old daughter heard my side of the conversation and couldn’t contain her excitement over seeing an actual person somewhere other than a computer screen.
When our friend arrived, the kids rushed onto the front porch to say hello. Though we maintained a six-foot distance and chatted in the front yard, it felt good to enjoy a face-to-face conversation.
Months of social distancing have taken their toll. But they’ve also taught us the value of human connection. Of sharing life with the people who live in our spaces.
It’s easy to take for granted those we love the most. Even in our families, we can unintentionally live parallel lives and forget to enjoy the relationships within our own walls.
I’m thankful for the reminder to see my people. To value our interactions and invest in those around us.
Here are four ways we can be intentional in cultivating togetherness in our homes:
Make room for fun
I’m a bit of a no-nonsense person. At any given moment, I could recite the mental to-do list looming in the back of my mind. Most days, work feels more important than play. Yet if I wait until it’s all done, I’ll never stop to enjoy our life.
I’m learning to see the value in play. For in those moments when we’re simply enjoying each other, I learn a lot about my people — their strengths, their passions, their sense of humor. And I realize that the memories we’re making help build our family and solidify the relationships we share.
So make room for fun — family movie nights and afternoon board games, books read aloud and hikes through the woods, cookie baking and Lego building, bike rides and jumping together on the trampoline. It all adds up to shared experiences and hearts drawn close.
Prioritize one-on-one time
While family time is priceless, our kids need one-on-one time with us, as well. They need to feel seen. To know we like them and want to spend time focused on them.
Ask what they’d like to do together – just the two of you – then do your best to make it happen. I love seeing each child’s personality shine as we spend these times with one another. My oldest daughter likes to scroll through Pinterest or just sit and talk. My son usually wants to build with Legos or take a bike ride. My littlest enjoys baking something we’ve never made before or reading a book.
If you have more than one child, be creative in occupying your other kids while focusing on just one of them. You can designate a “quiet time,” where everyone spends 30 minutes playing or reading in their room. Or set out coloring books on the kitchen table while an audio book plays in the background. Or make a stack of board games for them to play together. Be sure each child knows this is a special time for just you and their sibling, but that they can look forward to their turn soon.
Planning for these times takes some intentionality, as well as a good dose of spontaneity, but it’s well worth making a priority.
Face hard things together
The Bible talks often of the value of facing life with another person. (See Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.) Especially in the hard times, our kids need to know we’re with them and for them. Whether it’s a worldwide pandemic or the uncertainty of a new school year, let’s give our kids the gift of knowing they’re not alone — that come what may, we’re in this together. And that even when we don’t have all the answers, we’ll walk through uncertain times with them.
Recently, God taught me that this concept of togetherness is also helpful when I must administer discipline. As our perfect Father, He wants to walk through hard times with us — even when they’re the result of our own foolish choices. So when possible, face the consequences with your child. If it’s a time out, have them sit in the room with you. If it’s an added chore, grab another broom and help them sweep the floor.
Let’s make sure our kids know we’ll face the future with them.
Invite them in
In Romans 14, we’re reminded to accept those who are different from us, because God also accepts that fellow believer. In the Bible’s original Greek, the word “accept” carries the connotation of welcoming into friendship.
I love that picture and the application it has on day-to-day family life. Each family member is so very unique, yet God calls us to welcome one another into friendship.
Invite them to work with you in the kitchen. Let them join your no-longer-quiet “quiet time.” Share your struggles and what God is teaching you through them. Let them walk with you through the ups and downs and ins and outs of everyday life.
As families, we have the privilege of enjoying human connections each and every day. Let’s invest in those relationships and be purposeful about doing life together.
