Friday nights are a favorite around our house. After running full speed all week, each family member looks forward to an evening of doing nothing.
Well, not really nothing.
We do have plans, but they’re fun plans, plans to stop everything and enjoy just being together. Most of the time, this means gathering in the living room for a family movie night (because anything else requires too much energy for this worn-out mom.)
One of our favorite movies is the DreamWorks film Home, about an unlikely friendship between a loveable alien and a scared little girl. At one point in the movie, as they’re looking for the girl’s mom, she becomes furious with her new friend. Confused by her angry expression, he asks in his awkward alien verbiage, “What is the purpose of your face?” He knows her look means something – he’s just not sure what (though she quickly fills him in.)
Like the main character in Home, our faces have a lot to say, and their words speak loud and clear. As we go about our day, our kids watch our faces and subconsciously ask the same question – “What is the purpose of your face?”
Let’s be sure we’re communicating what we want them to hear:
“You’re important to me”
Every day, I’m tempted to live distracted, to listen to my kids without looking them in the eye. I’m busy, after all. I need to multi-task if I’m ever going to check these items off my to-do list.
But our relationships with our kids matter more than dinner being on the table by six o’clock or than checking our notifications on Instagram. We need to read their faces, too, so we can understand their hearts.
“I delight in you”
I’ve often caught myself listening with a hurry-up-and-finish-talking-so-I-can-get-back-to-work look on my face. Though unintentionally, I’m communicating that my kids are a bother or an interruption.
Thankfully, God is making me aware of this tendency and teaching me to trade in that expression for an I-like-you look instead. A smile and attentive eyes go a long way in helping our kids feel loved.
Moms and dads, will you join me in asking God to help us speak life with the expressions we wear? The next time our kids wonder, What is the purpose of your face? may their souls grow stronger by the words they hear.
What do you want to communicate with your face? How are you intentional about showing those things? Please comment below — I’d love to hear!
My son loves building with Legos. His room looks like a Lego museum – and often like a construction zone, with tiny bricks strewn all over the floor, just waiting for an unsuspecting parent to walk in and step on them.
At the end of this school year, he completed a report on our home state of Georgia. For a final project, he chose to redesign our capitol building – constructing it the way he would choose, if he were the architect drafting the plans.
Guess what he chose as his building material? You got it – Lego bricks.
For several days, he poured his free time into creating a capitol building which would make the people of Georgia proud. He selected only gray and white bricks. He carefully placed an abundance of windows. He even printed our state flag on cardstock, attaching it to a tiny pole and flying it atop the capitol building.
It was quite the masterpiece.
At the beginning, before constructing any of the walls or installing a single window, he carefully laid a foundation which would support his large building. He knew this first step was essential to creating a strong structure.
We parents are a lot like Lego craftspeople. Every day we have countless opportunities to build our homes and strengthen the people who live within our walls. Let’s lay a strong foundation through faith that’s authentic, Scripture that’s central, and a mission that’s celebrated.
Faith that’s Authentic
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)
Every one of us falls short. That’s why Jesus came – to pay for the sins of those He loves and to fulfill God’s Law on our behalf. Let’s celebrate this in daily life by:
Modeling the gospel for our kids when we fall short, expressing that Jesus has forgiven us and asking if they will, too.
Forgiving our kids when they hurt us and reminding them that Jesus offers forgiveness, too.
Pointing to Christ as our hope for daily transformation.
Scripture that’s Central
“These commands that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)
God’s Word reveals His heart and shows us how we can live in relationship with Him. Let’s bring Scripture into our everyday conversations by:
Telling our kids what God has been teaching us through our own times of Bible study and prayer.
Discussing what the Bible says about situations we encounter as a family.
Memorize Bible verses as a family. (BlueLetterBible.org is a great resource for finding verses topically.)
A Mission that’s Celebrated
“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20 (NIV)
As Christians, we’re part of a worldwide mission. Through us, God calls a lost world into relationship with Him. Let’s prepare our kids to share this gospel message by:
Giving them heroes to emulate through reading missionary stories together. (We love the Trailblazer Books and Christian Heroes: Then & Now.)
Praying for missionaries and staying up to date on how God is working in their ministry.
Dreaming with your kids about how God could use them someday, while pointing out ways He can work through them right now.
This work of building our homes is an investment in eternity. As we live out authentic faith, teach our kids God’s Word, and cast a vision for joining in His work, we’re laying a strong foundation upon which they can build their lives.
Oh, I love the change in our routine. I enjoy the slower pace, the grilling out, the extra time for hanging with family and friends.
But I don’t like the heat. At all. I hate getting sweaty. I dislike slathering up with sunscreen. I nearly cringe at coating everyone with bugspray. If it weren’t for my kids, I’d probably stay indoors most of the summer. In fact, I even have difficulty enjoying our beautiful Southern springtime because I’m dreading the onset of summer.
Crazy, I know.
My oldest made a comment recently which stopped me in my tracks, causing me to take a long look at how I’m spending my mental, emotional, and even spiritual energy. She said that, while she doesn’t like being hot, she loves the feeling of stepping out of the heat into a cold house.
Such a little, everyday thing. But she celebrates it as a
built-in happy spot in the middle of her hot, summer day.
I wonder…how many of God’s gifts are hiding in my everyday?
When days are hard, when difficult seasons are long – are there grace-filled blessings in the middle of the struggle which I walk right past because I’m focused on what I wish wasn’t’ there?
Like gems hiding in plain sight, God’s kindness is all around us (Psalm 31:19).
“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
This short little verse implies that, in every situation, gifts from God are present for which we can be thankful.
Always.
We’ll never face a moment where His grace is absent.
In every situation He’s working for our good (Romans 8:28).
Woven through each day are tokens of His affection and reminders of His kindness – even when life is at its worst. We don’t readily see these things, but if we ask, He’ll show us how He’s surrounding us with His love.
What are you facing today that’s uncomfortable? Maybe your
struggle is more than uncomfortable. Maybe it’s downright gut-wrenching. Will
you join me in asking God to open our eyes to His gifts in the middle of it all?
May He show us where He’s working and teach our hearts to celebrate His good gifts– even when it’s crazy hot outside.
How do you take note of God’s goodness? Comment below to join the conversation!
Have you ever played Twenty Questions with a stranger?
Last fall, a new friend on Instagram invited me to participate in an interview — twenty questions about life and faith and my relationship with God. It took me until Christmastime to return my answers — they weren’t quick and easy! A lot of other interviewees were in line ahead of me, but this week the interview went live.
Questions ranged from “What’s on your nightstand right now?” to “What are your top three tips for staying spiritually strong?”
Here’s my favorite question, along with my answer:
“What do you want people to learn about God when they look at you?”
“When people see my life and hear my story, I hope the relentless love of God comes to the forefront in dazzling splendor. I pray they sense the still, small voice of God whispering His delight over them and graciously drawing them closer to His heart.”
If you’re curious about the rest of the interview, I’d love for you to hop over to Modern Witnesses
“Mama, remember the time when we sat next to the elevator and ate a cookie?” My son smiled as he repeated the story.
He must have been four or five when we took that afternoon outing to the mall. We started out at the play place, then headed to the food court for a candy-filled cookie, sitting next to the glassed-in elevator as we ate.
My little man stared in awe. I marveled that a people-mover could be so fascinating. He studied it ever so carefully, trying to figure out exactly how it worked. He wanted to ride it a few times, but just watching it seemed to thrill him the most.
Fast forward several years, and he still recalls that day with affection.
Such a little thing – a simple date which cost all of five dollars, a mom who didn’t understand his fascination with elevators but loved watching her son learn, and a memory he still seems to treasure.
It’s funny what kids remember…
Of course, the big stuff builds memories, too – like our unexpected cross-country drive one Christmas when the Atlanta airport shut down and we still wanted to spend the holidays with my family. Or the planned-out birthday parties that leave parents exhausted but children feeling loved.
Those things are important, but so are the everyday moments we invest in our kids. We cultivate an atmosphere of love and security by doing the little things.
Here are a few thoughts to keep in mind:
Our day-to-day ministry helps shape their view of God.
Cooking meals and keeping a home isn’t the least bit glamorous. But when we meet their everyday needs, we paint the picture of a God who provides. Kids are free to thrive when they know we’re looking out for them.
Our day-to-day ministry helps shape their view of themselves.
We affirm their God-given worth and value when we prioritize time with them, setting aside our agendas (and our devices) to show our kids they matter more. We validate their opinions and feelings when we ask questions and listen to their hearts.
Our day-to-day ministry helps shape their future.
I’m often surprised at what my kids remember (like elevator-watching at the mall). They see more than we realize. Our consistent love helps them grow into the men and women God designed them to be.
But let’s be real. We parents do undeniably more than our kids could possibly notice. Yet God sees. He “is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them” (Hebrews 6:10, NIV). As we serve our families, we serve Jesus. I’m so glad He provides His strength, wisdom, and grace to help us love them well.
Yes, it’s funny what kids remember. In the big stuff and in the small, we’re making memories, building relationships, and shaping our children’s hearts for eternity.
