“Don’t blink,” they said. “She’ll be grown before you know it.”
“Soon the moments will be memories.”
In the little years, when the days felt like decades and the nights even longer, those clichés sounded, well, cliché. Yet here we are, embarking on our little girl’s senior year. I’m not sure how we got here this quickly, but ready or not, the school year begins.
I anticipate all the emotions this year (both hers and mine.) We’ll treasure all her lasts as we step into her new firsts. I’ll ache over what’s ending, rejoice over the woman she’s becoming, and worry a little (okay, maybe a lot) over the changes ahead.
And as best I know how, I’ll take these feelings to Jesus.
For 8 ways to pray for our seniors (and all of the kids we love), join me at Bible Study Tools.
What pictures come to mind when you hear the word gentle? A soft breeze? A kid-friendly pet? A woman known for her kindness?
While these images capture some of the word’s meaning, the Bible portrays gentleness in a more audacious way than we tend to assume. For Christians called to “put on hearts of gentleness” (Colossians 3:12), it’s important we understand how the Bible uses this word.
To read about the 4 myths of gentleness I used to believe, hop over to Bible Study Tools.
If you ask ten people to define the gospel, you’ll likely get ten different answers. Over time and through frequency of use, the word gospel has lost much of its meaning. As Christians, we know it has to do with salvation. We accepted the gospel when we came to faith in Jesus, and we’re supposed to share the gospel with others.
Yet how can we share what we don’t clearly understand? What does the Bible really teach about the gospel?
To read more about the gospel, who it’s for, and what makes it really good news, hop over to Bible Study Tools:
It’s been a while since I shared my thoughts in this space. The events of the past two years have often left me speechless—weary from listening to all the voices, aching at the growing division among us (even among God’s people), anxious over the uncertainty of these days.
I’ve spent a lot of time journaling my thoughts and prayers, often sitting in silence, or pondering how God’s Word speaks to life events. I’ve heard Him whisper reminders of His love. I’ve been encouraged by His faithfulness to His Word.
How thankful I am He is “the stability of our times” (Isaiah 33:6). In every circumstance, like an immovable mountain, God remains constant and always close by.
Because He doesn’t change and because He’s welcomed us into relationship with Himself, soul rest remains possible even in unsettling times.
If you’ve been reading along with me for a while, you may know a bit of my journey from legalism into grace. (If you’d like to read the long version, you can find it here.) I write a lot about rest, for I’ve found peace in learning to let go of my striving and settle down — in Christ’s merit, in the tenderness of a Father who’s for me, in a life guided and empowered by the Spirit of God.
Yet I’m realizing this journey is a long one. A lifelong one, in fact.
I let go of the try-harder life of legalism nearly a decade ago. Yet God continually takes this process deeper, showing me areas where I’m still trying to do things for Him, instead of resting in Him.
On my journey, I’ve spent a lot of time deconstructing – rethinking my framework of faith. Asking tough questions. Looking into Scripture to see if what I believe fits with what I find there.
These years of deconstruction have been intensely painful, yet priceless in value. For with the tearing down has also come a rebuilding, a reconstructed life of faith centered on the rest only Jesus can give. (Stay tuned for a future post on deconstruction – what it is and why it can be a good thing.)
This is the direction future posts will take: deconstructing try-harder Christianity so we can flourish in our relationships with God – settling into the abundant life Jesus came to give. I’m excited to share what God has been teaching me.
Seven Devotions from the Garden
Website Changes:
You may have noticed this website looks different than it has in the past. I’ve redesigned the look and added some new pages. My favorite page is the newly launched “Freebie Library” for email subscribers. This library offers a growing collection of downloadable pdfs, one of which is a seven-day devotional I wrote entitled Flourish: Devotions from the Garden to Help You Thrive.
If you haven’t yet subscribed, I invite you to sign up today. You’ll receive access to the Freebie Library, be the first to know when a new post is up, and receive “ID cards” (reminders of who God is and who He says we are) with each regular email.
Thank you for joining me here. I hope your fall is filled with beautiful memories and lots of thanks giving.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
In what ways are you learning to let go of the try-harder life? I’d love to hear! Please leave a comment below. And if you know others who’d like to walk this journey with us, I’d love for you to share this post.
I’d just gotten off the phone with my friend and the kids’ beloved babysitter. She’d called to say she was on her way over to pick something up.
Our seven-year-old daughter heard my side of the conversation and couldn’t contain her excitement over seeing an actual person somewhere other than a computer screen.
When our friend arrived, the kids rushed onto the front porch to say hello. Though we maintained a six-foot distance and chatted in the front yard, it felt good to enjoy a face-to-face conversation.
Months of social distancing have taken their toll. But they’ve also taught us the value of human connection. Of sharing life with the people who live in our spaces.
It’s easy to take for granted those we love the most. Even in our families, we can unintentionally live parallel lives and forget to enjoy the relationships within our own walls.
I’m thankful for the reminder to see my people. To value our interactions and invest in those around us.
Here are four ways we can be intentional in cultivating togetherness in our homes:
Make room for fun
I’m a bit of a no-nonsense person. At any given moment, I could recite the mental to-do list looming in the back of my mind. Most days, work feels more important than play. Yet if I wait until it’s all done, I’ll never stop to enjoy our life.
I’m learning to see the value in play. For in those moments when we’re simply enjoying each other, I learn a lot about my people — their strengths, their passions, their sense of humor. And I realize that the memories we’re making help build our family and solidify the relationships we share.
So make room for fun — family movie nights and afternoon board games, books read aloud and hikes through the woods, cookie baking and Lego building, bike rides and jumping together on the trampoline. It all adds up to shared experiences and hearts drawn close.
Prioritize one-on-one time
While family time is priceless, our kids need one-on-one time with us, as well. They need to feel seen. To know we like them and want to spend time focused on them.
Ask what they’d like to do together – just the two of you – then do your best to make it happen. I love seeing each child’s personality shine as we spend these times with one another. My oldest daughter likes to scroll through Pinterest or just sit and talk. My son usually wants to build with Legos or take a bike ride. My littlest enjoys baking something we’ve never made before or reading a book.
If you have more than one child, be creative in occupying your other kids while focusing on just one of them. You can designate a “quiet time,” where everyone spends 30 minutes playing or reading in their room. Or set out coloring books on the kitchen table while an audio book plays in the background. Or make a stack of board games for them to play together. Be sure each child knows this is a special time for just you and their sibling, but that they can look forward to their turn soon.
Planning for these times takes some intentionality, as well as a good dose of spontaneity, but it’s well worth making a priority.
Face hard things together
The Bible talks often of the value of facing life with another person. (See Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.) Especially in the hard times, our kids need to know we’re with them and for them. Whether it’s a worldwide pandemic or the uncertainty of a new school year, let’s give our kids the gift of knowing they’re not alone — that come what may, we’re in this together. And that even when we don’t have all the answers, we’ll walk through uncertain times with them.
Recently, God taught me that this concept of togetherness is also helpful when I must administer discipline. As our perfect Father, He wants to walk through hard times with us — even when they’re the result of our own foolish choices. So when possible, face the consequences with your child. If it’s a time out, have them sit in the room with you. If it’s an added chore, grab another broom and help them sweep the floor.
Let’s make sure our kids know we’ll face the future with them.
Invite them in
In Romans 14, we’re reminded to accept those who are different from us, because God also accepts that fellow believer. In the Bible’s original Greek, the word “accept” carries the connotation of welcoming into friendship.
I love that picture and the application it has on day-to-day family life. Each family member is so very unique, yet God calls us to welcome one another into friendship.
Invite them to work with you in the kitchen. Let them join your no-longer-quiet “quiet time.” Share your struggles and what God is teaching you through them. Let them walk with you through the ups and downs and ins and outs of everyday life.
As families, we have the privilege of enjoying human connections each and every day. Let’s invest in those relationships and be purposeful about doing life together.
