It’s been a while since I shared my thoughts in this space. The events of the past two years have often left me speechless—weary from listening to all the voices, aching at the growing division among us (even among God’s people), anxious over the uncertainty of these days.
I’ve spent a lot of time journaling my thoughts and prayers, often sitting in silence, or pondering how God’s Word speaks to life events. I’ve heard Him whisper reminders of His love. I’ve been encouraged by His faithfulness to His Word.
How thankful I am He is “the stability of our times” (Isaiah 33:6). In every circumstance, like an immovable mountain, God remains constant and always close by.
Because He doesn’t change and because He’s welcomed us into relationship with Himself, soul rest remains possible even in unsettling times.
If you’ve been reading along with me for a while, you may know a bit of my journey from legalism into grace. (If you’d like to read the long version, you can find it here.) I write a lot about rest, for I’ve found peace in learning to let go of my striving and settle down — in Christ’s merit, in the tenderness of a Father who’s for me, in a life guided and empowered by the Spirit of God.
Yet I’m realizing this journey is a long one. A lifelong one, in fact.
I let go of the try-harder life of legalism nearly a decade ago. Yet God continually takes this process deeper, showing me areas where I’m still trying to do things for Him, instead of resting in Him.
On my journey, I’ve spent a lot of time deconstructing – rethinking my framework of faith. Asking tough questions. Looking into Scripture to see if what I believe fits with what I find there.
These years of deconstruction have been intensely painful, yet priceless in value. For with the tearing down has also come a rebuilding, a reconstructed life of faith centered on the rest only Jesus can give. (Stay tuned for a future post on deconstruction – what it is and why it can be a good thing.)
This is the direction future posts will take: deconstructing try-harder Christianity so we can flourish in our relationships with God – settling into the abundant life Jesus came to give. I’m excited to share what God has been teaching me.
Seven Devotions from the Garden
Website Changes:
You may have noticed this website looks different than it has in the past. I’ve redesigned the look and added some new pages. My favorite page is the newly launched “Freebie Library” for email subscribers. This library offers a growing collection of downloadable pdfs, one of which is a seven-day devotional I wrote entitled Flourish: Devotions from the Garden to Help You Thrive.
If you haven’t yet subscribed, I invite you to sign up today. You’ll receive access to the Freebie Library, be the first to know when a new post is up, and receive “ID cards” (reminders of who God is and who He says we are) with each regular email.
Thank you for joining me here. I hope your fall is filled with beautiful memories and lots of thanks giving.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
In what ways are you learning to let go of the try-harder life? I’d love to hear! Please leave a comment below. And if you know others who’d like to walk this journey with us, I’d love for you to share this post.
Maybe it’s an echo of Eden or a yearning for things to come, this drive I have for perfection.
I long for things to be just so, for everything to fit in neat and tidy boxes, for the day to go as planned and all our stuff (aka clutter) to stay neatly organized.
Christmastime is no exception.
Actually, my drive for perfection may be even more intense this time of year. I want the tree trimmed symmetrically (I have been known to readjust ornaments after the kids go to bed), the shopping to be done ahead of time, and the menu to be memory-worthy. I long for quiet evenings by the tree with a cup of tea and a good book. And I want it all to progress slowly enough for everyone to enjoy the season.
But sometimes, most of the time, real life doesn’t fit in my ideal little boxes.
Right now, I’m sitting in front of the Christmas tree and a whole section of lights is out, despite the time my husband spent restringing all the lights (several times, but we won’t mention that frustrating fact.)
And it’s crazy early in the morning right now, but the jet lag from my mission trip 12 time zones away has my sleeping patterns all out of whack.
And the Christmas cards arrived from the printer on time, but they looked so awful I had to have them redone. Guess they’ll be late this year.
I realized, however, that these little details really are minor frustrations. For many people, Christmas is a time of deep sadness. Tears well up in my eyes as I remember friends who’ve suffered great loss recently. My dear mentor told me not a Christmas goes by without her thinking of loved ones not present at their holiday gatherings.
Real life is messy and full of heart-breaking disappointments. Christmas has a way of accentuating that pain.
Nothing in real life is truly Pinterest perfect.
But that’s why Emmanuel came.
Everything was perfect in His heavenly home. Perfectly sinless. Perfectly painless. Perfectly perfect in every way. Jesus was honored and served and adored there.
But you see, He loved these humans He’d created. The ones who’d traded in their perfect relationship with Him for a shot at doing life on their own – and we’ve been living with the fallout from that bad decision ever since (all the while adding our own sinful messes to the mix).
Yet no matter how broken humankind was, God wouldn’t stop loving them. He’d appear in their imperfect world, live among them, and make a way for their relationship with Him to be restored.
He wouldn’t do it our way, though. No royal palace, no sterile birthplace – Jesus stepped down right into the middle of our brokenness.
He entered a virgin’s womb, and everyone doubted his mother’s integrity. He showed up in a jam-packed town and only the animals made room for Him. Smelly shepherds were His greeting committee and foreign dignitaries paid Him homage, while most of His own failed to notice His arrival.
His hometown was despised. His people oppressed. For most of His life, He was simply “The Carpenter’s Son.” Thirty of His 33 years were spent in obscurity.
When His ministry officially began, He defied everyone’s idealized notions of how this Messiah thing should be done. Instead of conquering Rome’s oppressive regime, He said, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s” (Mark 12:17, NIV). While others clamored for first place, Jesus took off His robe, knelt before His bickering followers, and washed their filthy feet (John 13).
He loved the unlovely. He forgave the unworthy. He turned the world upside down.
This is the Baby we celebrate at Christmastime. So why on earth do we bustle so frantically to make sure everything is just right?
That first Christmas was a stunning display of God’s ability –affinity even — to create beauty, not in our perfection, but from our brokenness.
He’s present in the process, not just the finished product.
This is our Emmanuel – the God who’s right here with us, with all our struggles and heartaches, our warts and bruises and scars.
God’s idea of the perfect Christmas is vastly different than ours, which is really comforting to me. It reminds me that there’s beauty in this very moment, untidy as it is, if I’ll just be still and embrace it.
His presence is the heart of the Christmas spirit, so life doesn’t have to be perfect to celebrate the season.
As we count down the last few days until December 25th, let’s look for Jesus in each moment, bringing Him our heartaches, our disappointments, our frustrations.
Let’s choose present over perfect, memory-making over striving, and surrender to His plan over clinging to our own.
Let’s celebrate God’s work right now, even as we long for the perfection that will one day be our reality.
How about you? How are you finding rest in the middle of the Christmas crazy? I’d love to hear – please leave a comment below!
Summer vacation, that is. The heat is forecasted to stick with us for a while yet. The kids are back to their studies and our weekly routine is becoming more…routine.
I’m not sure what happened to the lazy days of summer, but we didn’t see many of them this year. All three kids swam on our neighborhood swim team and had a blast. A six-times-a-week blast. Then our son started cross country with one, then two, now three practices a week. There were other activities as well, like VBS and STEM camp and playdates.
While the kids were busy, I spent a lot of time writing and even tackled a few painting projects. Our summer was definitely full.
But as the school year approached and I went into prep mode for our homeschool and co-op, I realized life was about to get even busier.
Not going to lie – I’ve had a few meltdowns trying to keep up with everything. One night I jolted awake, gasping for breath as I realized I was in the middle of a panic attack. It seemed strange, because I wasn’t mentally worried about anything. Yet the emotional stress of trying to juggle all my responsibilities was taking its toll.
The irony of my current writing project has not escaped my notice. I mean, really. I’m writing a book on soul rest. It seems I may have picked the wrong topic.
Until I remember that I’m writing it because I’m learning it.
Rest is on my heart because God’s teaching me to rest it in the middle of our everyday crazy. Things may not slow down, at least not for long. But Jesus’ invitation to “come rest” remains unchanged in each life season.
Here are a few things He’s teaching me on this crazy, busy road:
Soul rest takes returning
“Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7). In the busyness, it’s easy to become unsettled. To grow restless when life feels out of control or when our insides are knotted up for one reason or another.
Living from a heart of rest requires a choice – a conscious decision to cling to faith over feelings, to let God draw us back to Himself as our Source of peace.
Soul rest has a Source
The psalmist found rest in remembering God and we can, too. Right in the middle of life’s crazy, without waiting for things to calm down, we must remind our hearts of who God is:
He is abundantly good, even when life isn’t.
He responds to my prayers.
He is gracious, compassionate, and faithful.
He is infinitely powerful.
He’ll never call me where His grace won’t sustain me.
He’s already provided, in Jesus, everything I need to live the life to which He’s called me.
He loves me unconditionally and welcomes me to come running – freely, boldly, to Him.
He is, and always will be, for me.
The bottom line, I’m learning, is that soul rest is a walk of faith.
Whether I’m sitting at His feet in prayer or driving my kids to yet another lesson or practice, I can rest fully and freely in my relationship with Jesus. He never changes and His definition of me is constant, too.
When you know you’re relentlessly loved and fully accepted, life gets a whole lot easier.
That is the reality for every follower of Jesus. Will you join me in resting in this truth today?
How do you practice soul rest? I’d love to hear – please comment below to join the conversation! Or click here to join my email group and receive access to all the Bible Study printables in my free resource library.
The question tugged at the corners of my soul as I trudged through each day. A dark cloud hovered over every waking moment. And sleep? That was a struggle, too. I had one bed-wetter and another child with night-terrors, so the sleep I did get was often fragmented and restless.
How I hated mornings. I dreaded facing a new day.
How can I be a good mom when I feel so sad, so weary, so…depressed?
(For the rest of the story, hop over to CBN where I’m sharing today about my walk through depression and the hope I’ve found along the way.)
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and welcome you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
I’ve written a lot over the last few months but have been a bit absent here. Let me fill you in.
In February, I took a break from blogging, sharing here only what I wrote for Just18Summers. Discouragement and self-imposed deadlines had turned my writing journey into a burden, where once it had been a delight.
I spent some time asking God to refine my focus, to clarify the underlying passion He’s placed in my soul, to define the driving force behind every word I write.
Why am I writing?
What am I trying to say?
What change has God brought in my life over the last few years which could transform my readers’ lives as well?
What does He want to communicate using my voice and my story?
A single word surfaced as I prayed.
Rest.
Funny, rest has been the theme of this blog for over a year because it really is, I now realize, the singular passion of my soul. But I wasn’t living or writing from that place of soul rest.
So God took me back to the path we’ve walked together. He showed me again the restlessness in which I once lived and the brokenness I experienced when I could no longer keep up with life. Like it was yesterday, I remember the day when my self-sufficiency bowed to His lavish grace (Confessions of a Good Girl).
On that path five years ago, I discovered the rest which comes from trusting Jesus’ merits instead of my own – not just for salvation, but for day-to-day walking with God. From knowing and loving Him. From drawing near to Christ and staying there in the dailyness of life.
My soul learned to breathe as I experienced the beauty of His heart and the wonder of being His own accepted child.
After God reminded me of our history together, I realized some things had to change. I needed to return to rest (Psalm 116:7) — in life in general, and writing in particular. I asked God to show me how to balance the various callings He’s given me as a wife and mommy, teacher, writer, church member, etc.
During this time, I’ve mulled over what it means to truly live each day from a heart of rest. Because let’s just be honest. Normal life is anything but restful.
I keep coming back to the story of Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet while Martha bustled around her (Luke 10:38-42). Mary’s ability to rest in the middle of chaos intrigues me. Jesus’ words to a frantic Martha ring in my heart: “You are worried and upset about many things, but a few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42, NIV, emphasis mine).
What was this one thing which enabled Mary to rest?
As I’ve pondered and prayed over that question, a new book project began taking shape in my mind, one which provides the framework and heart behind the devotional I started last summer (Things are Changing Around Here). This new book discusses in detail the one thing that’s essential to living from a heart of rest.
So I now have two books in process and two book proposals nearly complete.
Will you pray with me about these projects?
That God will continue teaching me to have a heart of rest
That I’ll live from that place as I write these books
That He’ll open doors to share these projects with industry professionals and provide an avenue for publication, if that’s His purpose at this time
That I’ll be sensitive as His Spirit guides me through this process
Here at Dazzled By The Son, we’ll continue looking at various attributes of our God and how we can rest, by faith, in who He is. I’d love for you to join me in this discussion!
But sometimes, most of the time, real life doesn’t fit in my ideal little boxes.
He entered a virgin’s womb, and everyone doubted his mother’s integrity. He showed up in a jam-packed town and only the animals made room for Him. Smelly shepherds were His greeting committee and foreign dignitaries paid Him homage, while most of His own failed to notice His arrival.
I’m not sure what happened to the lazy days of summer, but we didn’t see many of them this year. All three kids swam on our neighborhood swim team and had a blast. A six-times-a-week blast. Then our son started cross country with one, then two, now three practices a week. There were other activities as well, like VBS and STEM camp and playdates.
So God took me back to the path we’ve walked together. He showed me again the restlessness in which I once lived and the brokenness I experienced when I could no longer keep up with life. Like it was yesterday, I remember the day when my self-sufficiency bowed to His lavish grace (
I keep coming back to the story of Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet while Martha bustled around her (